Good post.
I realize people are wired different, or cut from a different cloth, but I just have a hard time wrapping my mind around your situation. It's clear that you seem to have some real issues. That's unfortunate, and I feel for ya. However, it's equally as clear that these issues can't possibly stem from the members of Huskerboard, or the overall mood of the board. If they do, this place carries way too much clout in your life. Letting a message board even partially dictate your mood seems dangerous.
Log off Huskerboard, and get some help man.
And Good luck.