College Football Fan Rules

That was pretty good.

11. Please observe the following age limits on female attire: • 25-and-under: Baby-doll tank top, or sports bra if spelling out letter with body paint; cowboy hats; short shorts with team nickname on rear; nothing but a letter of intent and a smile (recruiting hostesses only)
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I like this one.

 
26. Please observe the following age guidelines on appropriate thoughts to have while ogling the USC song girls:

  • 11-15: What is this strange tingling feeling?
  • 16-18: College is going to be awesome.
  • 18-24: Damn, I wish she'd wear that skirt to sociology class.
  • 25-35: College was awesome.
  • 36-50: Damn, I wish she'd wear a burka or something. That could be my baby daughter!
  • 51-75: Gee, what a lovely young lady. I hope she meets a nice boy.
  • 75-over: What is this strange tingling feeling? Do I have to go to the bathroom again?
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for the record, my reaction was *EXACTLY* the 25-35 range when i saw the huskers at the USC game.

 
My favorite:

39. Anyone who calls Division I-AA by the new name "Division I Football Championship Subdivision" must receive one punch directly to the throat.

 

 
56. You are allowed one e-mail per season to a media outlet – local or national – bitterly complaining about the lack of respect for your school and the obvious media bias against your conference.

 
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