Depression & Suicide

[HUSKER 37]

...I've even recalled something a person from this thread PM'd me a few years ago, to see if I could use it to put me over the edge.

??

I was told to

"please stop trying so hard to fit in and be cool and accepted. You are overdoing it, and you are annoying a lot of people., you don't need to be in the middle of everything.".

Seems pretty tame now, but at the time I was dealing with a surprise divorce, and going through overwhelming thoughts I was trying to avoid..(Seems like I had "1000 Ways to Die" on a loop playing in my head for weeks)...I now keep it to remind myself to try to keep stuff repressed more often...or if I ever need that one more little push...Which I'm almost positive will no longer ever be needed.

When I look at it, Life has been pretty good for the most part...God and me are usually on a first name basis..I still have a hard time making new friends, but the ones I already have and the relatives that are still alive remain pretty close emotionally...maybe not distance wise, but There are a lot of people worse off..Maybe the trick is to concentrate on helping them rather than b!^@h about the few problems we all seem to have..

Well, that doesn't sound like something I'd say and I have no recollection of PMing you so I'm hoping it wasn't me.

And the sh**ty thing is that on the internet hurtful crap gets spewed around all the time and you never really think that the other person is going through a rough patch.

No! Beanman!,

It wasn't you...and now that I think about it, In all fairness, I'd rather the person that sent that PM forget the whole thing...except maybe like you and Carlfense said,,try to hold back a little when throwing words at people on the interwebs...So much can be lost in the translation without having facial expressions or tone of voice added to it..Probably why no one ever gets my jokes..(yeah right)..

I choose to think it was a retaliation for me bitching about Rap or Pop music or something trivial like that...But it's sorta like praise/ridicule...You can get praise from hundreds of people, but the one bad thing someone says to you sticks in your mind...

 

[HUSKER 37]

I'm serious about getting out there and trying to help others...The small amount I did in Lincoln before I moved out here really helped pull me out of a very long depression...Moving to "300 days per year of sunny skies" helped, too.

For some reason, the thought of seeing some sort of therapist scared the crap out of me...I might have thought "they'd" find out how crazy I really was and I'd end up in one of those dreary "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" type of places..

My Dad taught me to be a Do-It-Yourselfer anyway, so I jumped at the suggestion from a friend to join the "Crisis line" she volunteered for...It allowed me to learn a lot about semi crazy folks...Maybe even enough to help myself a little...It sure got me to take my mind off myself a little and care for some people that couldn't hurt me in return.

I keep meaning to do something like that again...Maybe start off Volunteering with my Son at old folks homes or Hospices over the Holidays...So we won't feel so alone this year...and make someone think we're their long lost brothers or something...You never know with the levels of some people's senility sometimes..

But seriously..It might help some of you Depressed people or your depressed friends/relatives...Sometimes depression comes out of a feeling of low self worth...You've gotta try to fight those negative voices sometimes with reminders of some of the good you do..Intentional or not.

 

[icedavis]

Wayne Brady discusses his battle with Depression.

http://www.etonline.com/news/153335_wayne_brady_opens_up_about_his_depression/index.html

 

[T_O_Bull]

Totally agree with you KC. There are medications out there that will help with depression and I have always thought that if things get really bad I can just grab my sleeping bag and my stuff throw it in the back

of my truck and head on down the road. As to leaving a wife with young children behind wouldn't even be a consideration. As far as the funeral expenses for this guy. let the county bury him, his widow and kids have better ways to use the money.

T_O_B

 

[T_O_Bull]

"I have this friend...."

Thanks Killer, for starting this thread...And to the rest of you all for your posts..

I feel like I've learned so much from the Huskerboard community over the years, and this thread has just added more to it...

Ice Davis...Thanks for helping out your friend...It somehow made me feel less isolated or alone? out here in the "Valley of the Sun"..

I guess maybe I feel a little less stressed? by recognizing myself as being only "[SIZE=14.44px]mildly depressed"[/SIZE] most of the time based on your description.(Not meaning to sound sarcastic)..I just can't imagine trying to survive what your friend or your wife sound like they have to struggle through.

Addressing the OP...Usually, I like to think I try to think logically most of the time, but sometimes...The voices keep telling me over and over "how much better off everyone would be if you weren't around"...enough times to where you start to believe them...Sometimes you hear replays of all the nasty things a parent or sibling, or even a friend told you in anger..I've even recalled something a person from this thread PM'd me a few years ago to see if I could use it to put me over the edge.

... this is where procrastination can be your friend..(eventually, the voices stop),

There's days I still get mad at myself for not pulling the trigger the few times I came close...Usually after two rainy days in a row...another bad week at work...when I drop off my Son at my Ex's...or when I pay attention to all the clutter in my house...But those days seem to happen less frequently, and I am able to joke my way out of them.

I miss my best friend in Lincoln...Guess I'm due for a call...un light

There's days I still get mad at myself for not pulling the trigger the few times I came close...Usually after two rainy days in a row...

There are 'sun light' lamps out there that can help with 'gray day' depression. I have two and they do help, South Dakota in the winter can be very gray and people can get real growly but the mood changes with the first sunny day.

Just stay with us H37, HB needs you.

T_O_B