Football Joke

Roxy

Roxy

Starter
Steve Spurrier's walking on the beach the night before the team is to leave for Arizona to play Nebraska in the '96 Fiesta Bowl, and he comes across this really ornate bottle lying in the sand. He picks it up and brushes the sand off and out pops a genie who tells Steve he'll grant him one, and only one, wish. Steve thinks for a minute then says "You know, I've always been interested in great engineering feats. I'd like to have a bridge built from Florida all the way to France, and it'd be called the Steve Spurrier Bridge." The genie immediately starts to hedge. "Steve, that would be nearly impossible, the sheer volume of concrete needed is prohibitive, the sea is thousands of feet deep in spots, lives would be lost... It simply can't be done. You'll have to think of something else - anything else, anything at all." So Steve thought for another minute, then he said with great enthusiasm "Then I want to beat Nebraska, win the national championship, and prove to all the world that a flashy offense, not a sound defense, wins championships." The genie didn't even hesitate a single second before he said "Do you want that bridge two-lane or four?"

 
How about this one:

One foggy night, an Oklahoma fan was heading north from Tulsa and a Nebraska fan was driving south from Lincoln. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Oklahoma fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Nebraska fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Oklahoma fan walks over to the Nebraska fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Nebraska fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Nebraska fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Cutty Sark scotch. He says to the Oklahoma fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship."

The Oklahoma fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Oklahoma fan hands it back to the Nebraska fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Nebraska fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

 
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