Cy the Cyclone
Starter
Over the past few years, the Iowa State Cyclones have entertained sports fans more than any other team in America…not with stellar play on the field…but with stunning feats of magic never thought possible!
Who can forget the time when the ISU football team emerged from the smoke of the Jack Trice Stadium tunnel only to run into a set of goalposts that magically appeared out of the fog….knocking players to the ground before the other team even had a chance.
How about the amazing magic “fumble ball” spell that the Cyclones cast on the football shortly before their last game against the Huskers at Memorial stadium. Not only did this spell cause the football to magically slip out of the hands of any Husker who attempted to carry or catch it…it also made the Husker home winning streak against the Cyclones…a streak that had been around since Chester Arthur was president…disappear.
One of the best magic tricks the Cyclones have pulled off was making Oklahoma State’s chance for a national football title shot disappear while at the same time, making a college football playoff system appear from thin air.
Lately it was the basketball team which made any dignity NCAA game officials may have had disappear not once, but twice…in games versus Kansas and Ohio State when they used their collective mind control to force the NCAA head of officiating to admit on national TV that yes, their officials suck while at the same time forcing Charles Barkley to say he supported something besides Charles Barkley.
These, along with some other tricks I have not mentioned (for instance the magical way they stole USC’s uniforms and claimed them as their own) have all been entertaining but there is one trick the Cyclones have never been able to master…making an actual person disappear.
Some may say that the Cyclones made Gene Chizek disappear but facts have proven that Gene made himself disappear. After his magical vanishing act from Ames and subsequent reappearance at Auburn, everyone thought the Cyclones were somehow involved. However, Gene quickly made himself disappear from Auburn in order to prove that he, himself, is responsible for this trick. No…the Cyclones have been working hard to perfect the “disappearing person” trick for the entire year and they have finally completed it. Everyone needs to tune in next Thursday, October 3rd, as the Cyclones perform the most amazing magical feat ever before seen in front of a football audience.
The victim of the trick is the perfect candidate to attempt this trick with. I know this fellow…he yelled and called me names long before the Cyclones turned him loose upon the earth so it is nothing personal but it is only fitting that the Cyclones use their magic to remove this person from college football. All the ingredients for the trick are there: Horrible Offense…Horrible Defense…Horrible Special Teams…Horrible Record…add them all together and on October 3rd you get a Cyclone upset and a trick that will be talked about for all of football history.
“The Amazing Disappearing Mack Brown”
Tune in…you will be amazed!
Who can forget the time when the ISU football team emerged from the smoke of the Jack Trice Stadium tunnel only to run into a set of goalposts that magically appeared out of the fog….knocking players to the ground before the other team even had a chance.
How about the amazing magic “fumble ball” spell that the Cyclones cast on the football shortly before their last game against the Huskers at Memorial stadium. Not only did this spell cause the football to magically slip out of the hands of any Husker who attempted to carry or catch it…it also made the Husker home winning streak against the Cyclones…a streak that had been around since Chester Arthur was president…disappear.
One of the best magic tricks the Cyclones have pulled off was making Oklahoma State’s chance for a national football title shot disappear while at the same time, making a college football playoff system appear from thin air.
Lately it was the basketball team which made any dignity NCAA game officials may have had disappear not once, but twice…in games versus Kansas and Ohio State when they used their collective mind control to force the NCAA head of officiating to admit on national TV that yes, their officials suck while at the same time forcing Charles Barkley to say he supported something besides Charles Barkley.
These, along with some other tricks I have not mentioned (for instance the magical way they stole USC’s uniforms and claimed them as their own) have all been entertaining but there is one trick the Cyclones have never been able to master…making an actual person disappear.
Some may say that the Cyclones made Gene Chizek disappear but facts have proven that Gene made himself disappear. After his magical vanishing act from Ames and subsequent reappearance at Auburn, everyone thought the Cyclones were somehow involved. However, Gene quickly made himself disappear from Auburn in order to prove that he, himself, is responsible for this trick. No…the Cyclones have been working hard to perfect the “disappearing person” trick for the entire year and they have finally completed it. Everyone needs to tune in next Thursday, October 3rd, as the Cyclones perform the most amazing magical feat ever before seen in front of a football audience.
The victim of the trick is the perfect candidate to attempt this trick with. I know this fellow…he yelled and called me names long before the Cyclones turned him loose upon the earth so it is nothing personal but it is only fitting that the Cyclones use their magic to remove this person from college football. All the ingredients for the trick are there: Horrible Offense…Horrible Defense…Horrible Special Teams…Horrible Record…add them all together and on October 3rd you get a Cyclone upset and a trick that will be talked about for all of football history.
“The Amazing Disappearing Mack Brown”
Tune in…you will be amazed!
