KState Wildcat
Three-Star Recruit
>> The following is an actual question given on a
>> University of Washington
>> chemistry mid-term.
>>
>> The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
>> professor shared it
>> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
>> course, why we now have
>> the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>>
>> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
>> endothermic
>> (absorbs heat)?
>>
>> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
>> using Boyle's Law
>> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
>> compressed) or some
>> variant.
>>
>> One student, however, wrote the following:
>>
>> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
>> changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
>> which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
>> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
>> leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
>> many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
>> different religions that exist in the world today.
>> Most of these religions state that if you are not a
>> member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
>> there is more than one of these religions and since
>> people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>> can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
>> and death rates as they are, we can expect the
>> number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
>> Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
>> the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>> same, the volume of Hell has to expand
>> proportionately as souls are added.
>>
>> This gives two possibilities:
>>
>> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
>> rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature
>> and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
>> breaks loose.
>>
>> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>> increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
>> pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>> So which is it?
>>
>> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
>> during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
>> in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
>> account the fact that I slept with her last night,
>> then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
>> that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
>> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
>> frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
>> more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving
>> only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>> divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
>> kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>
>> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>> University of Washington
>> chemistry mid-term.
>>
>> The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
>> professor shared it
>> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
>> course, why we now have
>> the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>>
>> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
>> endothermic
>> (absorbs heat)?
>>
>> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
>> using Boyle's Law
>> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
>> compressed) or some
>> variant.
>>
>> One student, however, wrote the following:
>>
>> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
>> changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
>> which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
>> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
>> leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
>> many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
>> different religions that exist in the world today.
>> Most of these religions state that if you are not a
>> member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
>> there is more than one of these religions and since
>> people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>> can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
>> and death rates as they are, we can expect the
>> number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
>> Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
>> the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>> same, the volume of Hell has to expand
>> proportionately as souls are added.
>>
>> This gives two possibilities:
>>
>> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
>> rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature
>> and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
>> breaks loose.
>>
>> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>> increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
>> pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>> So which is it?
>>
>> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
>> during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
>> in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
>> account the fact that I slept with her last night,
>> then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
>> that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
>> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
>> frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
>> more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving
>> only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>> divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
>> kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>
>> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
