How many of you guys have lost friends to marriage?
- Thread starter teachercd
- Start date
Ratt Mhule
Heisman Trophy Winner
teachercd
Head Coach
HuskerShark
Banned
I believe knapp was talking about sexual intercourse.You're probably right. Im a huge douche and nobody ever wants to hang out with me.I think the opposite could also be true. They DO want to do something. Just not with you.
Edit: I think I know what you're trying to say, but just the way you said it is very vindictive. Like I'm the reason they never want to hang out.
Hingle McCringleberry
Starter
Most of my friends were really social right after the wedding, then tapered off a little, then into a black hole once the first kid came along. I found after kid number two they start wanting time away from the house (especially the wives who want to reassert their individuality a little), and spend it with adults, not crying little people... It's different, but still fun to have them around...
fro daddy
All-Conference
well you have to consider that your married friend has more than just themselves to think about now. It does depend on the person, but I would think most married couples, especially newer married couples, like spending lots of time together. I really only see my wife for a few hours a day. And nearly every minute of that time is after I get home from work.
I have an opposite issue with that sometimes. I am married with 2 kids and I rarely ever get asked to do anything. My friends stopped asking because they like to call on the way to the bar, or when they are already there. They give me no time to plan. I have to work around the schedules and needs of 3 others besides myself and sometimes its just not that easy. I think they believe that i dont want to do anything anymore because the can'ts outnumber the I cans.
OP, I've had this problem with a good friend of mine for the last six years.
He married his girlfriend just last summer once he graduated (in three years, mind you - he graduated quickly so they could get married sooner). In high school, they constantly bickered and were extremely jealous if one another was talking to a member of the opposite sex even for a brief moment. They fought a lot and he spent a lot of time trying to cool down arguments. He also had to consistently lie about what he was doing with his friends, because if she ever found out he was drinking underage, they probably would have broken up. From the very beginning, I never really liked their relationship.
For the last couple of years, it's been a huge song and dance of hanging out with him when it's convenient - for him. Once he got married, it became worse. He would never leave his apartment except to go to work or hang out with their new married couple friends, because once you get married, I guess you join a cult of hanging out with other married couples all the time. He always had some arbitrary reason for making me come to his place, even when his fiance was there, so we could hang out. Overall, just a very lazy friend.
Now, I completely understand what many people call the "honeymoon phase." I haven't been the best friend, either. I've had a girlfriend for the same amount of time, and I've chosen her over my friends, but we were never in a huge rush to start our lives and become a reclusive married couple like they have.
He only EVER asks me to hang out on one night of the week, when his wife conveniently works a night shift. Otherwise, hanging out is essentially a no-go. It's not just being married that's hurt our friendship - his constant need to not upset her and do what she wanted is what led him to choose her over his friends
He married his girlfriend just last summer once he graduated (in three years, mind you - he graduated quickly so they could get married sooner). In high school, they constantly bickered and were extremely jealous if one another was talking to a member of the opposite sex even for a brief moment. They fought a lot and he spent a lot of time trying to cool down arguments. He also had to consistently lie about what he was doing with his friends, because if she ever found out he was drinking underage, they probably would have broken up. From the very beginning, I never really liked their relationship.
For the last couple of years, it's been a huge song and dance of hanging out with him when it's convenient - for him. Once he got married, it became worse. He would never leave his apartment except to go to work or hang out with their new married couple friends, because once you get married, I guess you join a cult of hanging out with other married couples all the time. He always had some arbitrary reason for making me come to his place, even when his fiance was there, so we could hang out. Overall, just a very lazy friend.
Now, I completely understand what many people call the "honeymoon phase." I haven't been the best friend, either. I've had a girlfriend for the same amount of time, and I've chosen her over my friends, but we were never in a huge rush to start our lives and become a reclusive married couple like they have.
He only EVER asks me to hang out on one night of the week, when his wife conveniently works a night shift. Otherwise, hanging out is essentially a no-go. It's not just being married that's hurt our friendship - his constant need to not upset her and do what she wanted is what led him to choose her over his friends
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knapplc
International Man of Mystery
I think there's also the fact that friendships change over time. The guy I roomed with for three years, the best man at my wedding, lives 50 miles away and we never speak, email, text or get together anymore. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that our lives changed, and interests changed. I have zero doubt we'd have a great time if we got together again, but we're just not the same people we were when we were 20-25.
PaulCrewe
Heisman Trophy Winner
I would rather hang out with geeks from the interweb than hangout with my friends. 
But in all seriousness, my best friend(best man at my wedding) is a pain in the a$$ to get to hang out. It is his wife. She hates our inner circle of friends, and the feeling is mutual. He just bitches about her when we do hang out. Hate to say if we didn't try to warn him.
I think the moving away for jobs, play part for us, than the rest of our wives.
And I look for any excuse to hang out with other humans other than my wife from time to time. Especially interweb geeks.
But in all seriousness, my best friend(best man at my wedding) is a pain in the a$$ to get to hang out. It is his wife. She hates our inner circle of friends, and the feeling is mutual. He just bitches about her when we do hang out. Hate to say if we didn't try to warn him.
I think the moving away for jobs, play part for us, than the rest of our wives.
And I look for any excuse to hang out with other humans other than my wife from time to time. Especially interweb geeks.
teachercd
Head Coach
PaulCrewe
Heisman Trophy Winner
Hell yeah. Now the Cold War that may result upon arrival may be another story.
More or less, Wifey doesn't sweat it if there is a little heads up involved. She knows most the peeps I hang with. I tell her to go ahead and hang with her friends all the time. It is just that I am so much COOLER that people want to be seen with me