Anyone telling you to sit down during a goaline defensive stand by the blackshirts shall receive an open-palmed strike to the sternum regardless of their age or sex.
Anyone trying to start 'The Wave' while the Huskers are trailing during a home game shall be passed overhead (crowd surfing style) to the top of the South endzone and dropped over the railing.
Your son should be (or at least ask to be) a Husker football player for Halloween by the age of 6.
Nobody shall complain about the cheese of their Valentino's pizza being stuck to the lid of the cardboard container that they buy from one of the vendors. It shall be scraped off with a finger and eaten.
A man shall only do shots of Watermelon Pucker when they are on the house after every Touchdown while watching a Husker game at a sports bar.