Is it better to die while doing something you love?

knapplc

knapplc

International Man of Mystery
You've heard this before - Bob died while doing ____________, and the mourners say "Well, at least he died doing something he loved."

Say Bob loved fishing, and died with his line in the lake. Or maybe he loved photography, and he died while setting up a shot.

Is that a better death than, say, dying in your sleep, or an instant death like getting hit by a bus you never saw?

Is there such a thing as a "better death," or is all dying the same?

 
Seems like there isn't much difference between dying while fishing and dying in your sleep. A couple minutes to contemplate death versus no time to contemplate it.

A similar question I've always wondered about is whether it's better to die slowly (wither away with cancer for two years) or quickly (car crash)? I've had close loved ones die in both manners. I'm not sure I've decided upon an answer as to which is best. The former is more painful, or at least the pain is stretched out longer. But there's time for closure--time to get your affairs in order and say 'good-bye'. The latter is instant, with no time for preparation or closure. It sort of like asking whether it's better to rip a Band-Aid off, or slowly remove it.

 
NUance said:
A similar question I've always wondered about is whether it's better to die slowly (wither away with cancer for two years) or quickly (car crash)? I've had close loved ones die in both manners. I'm not sure I've decided upon an answer as to which is best. The former is more painful, or at least the pain is stretched out longer. But there's time for closure--time to get your affairs in order and say 'good-bye'. The latter is instant, with no time for preparation or closure. It sort of like asking whether it's better to rip a Band-Aid off, or slowly remove it.
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I haven't had anyone close to me die suddenly. There's plenty of pain with the slowly dying scenario. I remember the last lunch I had with my mother, the last phone conversation, the last time I came to the house to help out, the last time we got together with the whole family, the last time I saw her alive. Each time I knew this would be the last _______ I had with her. Each time was like a little dagger in the heart.

 
If I am doing something I love and all of a sudden about to die of a heart attack, I'm not at peace with that. So it is a very traumatic situation. Doesn't seem to be an ideal way to go. Go in your sleep is the better way.

As far as dying slowly or quickly. There is no right answer. For me, I would want to spend as much time with my wife and kids as I could. I would take the slow death for any extra seconds that would be afforded me.

 
The only time I think at all about it is thinking about any higher risk activities I do. Every once in awhile someone dies running a marathon (seems like more actually die in half marathons, but that's not the point) or skiing, two sports I like to do, and someone will ask me why I do them if it's so dangerous (and it's not that dangerous, but again, not the point). I'm sure people who do higher risk things like mountain climbing, sky diving, etc, face this more. My thought is that I don't want to give up those things, and if I actually should happen to die doing it, I'm ok with it because the odds are very slim. I wouldn't say I prefer to dying during something like that, as my preference is to hold it off as long as possible, at least while I still have my physical and mental health. If my doctor were to give me a 50/50 chance of finishing a marathon alive, I'd never do another one, but since he says I've got little or no more risk than anyone else, I do them. If I died running a marathon, I would expect someone to say "at least he died doing something he liked to do" as it would make sense. If I was eaten by a shark swimming in the ocean, someone might say "why was he doing that, wasn't he kind of afraid of sharks and didn't like swimming that much anyway?".

Other than that, I don't really have a choice on when and how I'll die other than living healthy and limiting unnecessary risks (and of course not choosing to end it myself), so I don't feel any need to dwell on preferences. I'd rather think and decide about things actually under my control, though I get the idea of philosophizing about other things.

 
I guess it is interesting to contemplate which way(s) would be better to die but, it really doesn't matter because I don't know too many people who get to choose how or when it happens. About the closest a person can come is deciding to forego life prolonging measures or being taken off of life support but they have likely already suffered for a good while at that point anyway. Unless Kevorkian is your doctor, most of us won't ever have a real choice in the matter.

I'm not sure which way I feel would be best. I've experienced both ways with people close to me and they both pretty much suck. In the case where there is prolonged suffering from something such as cancer, I would have to say going quickly would be much better.

 
I guess I look at it a little differently. I view it as how would I want my loved ones to have me die. To me, I'm dead. I have had a good life. Yes, I would like a chance to say goodbye to people. But, is that easier on them? Or, is getting a phone call from the state patrol that I was in a car accident and am dead? All of us know people who have died of cancer and it took time to happen. I have had a college friend die in a gun accident instantly. I am also currently watching another close friend fade away from cancer.

It's all very very tough. My friend is in the mode of emptying his bucket list and that is amazing to see. The friend who died in the gun accident didn't have the chance to hug his kids and wife one more time and them realizing how important that last hug was.

I know Knapp's experiences with his mom were gut wrenching. However, I would think my family would like the opportunity to have those last few moments with me and them knowing that I was OK with what was about to happen.

 
I want to die riding on knapp's lap while we ride on his scooter singing Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse.

 
i just hope however i die, my tombstone says i died doing what i loved. for instance; he died doing what he loved, getting hit by a bus.

 
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I've already got my funeral planned out, strobe lights and a smoke machine will open the ceremony, then my body will go back and forth on a zip line until the last child cries. At that moment I will drop candy from my hollowed abdomen, and the priest will commence the ceremony with some quote from Brad Nowell.

 
I mean, I love being sdsker's wife "tennis instructor". But I'm pretty sure I don't want to die "teaching her tennis"

 
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