Last to post wins

i will be accepting resumes for the Pentagon of Awesomeness.

Post the tops reasons why you should be included. :)
I lol'd.

Right after I won.

This is a tough decision you must make fro. Two spots cannot be given out easily. I expect much thought to be put into this from you.

 
Once upon a time, a magical helicopter was bought by a rich farmer. The

farmer flew his whirlybird wherever he went; that wasn't very far. He flew

it once every three minutes every day and night until he found that he

couldn't anymore. When he found this out, he saw why. The Russian

sattellite "Sputnik IV" crashed right into him when he was flying it. He

couldn't take the separation from his magical helicopter and died.

Shortly after the farmer died, a deranged boy decided to see what fire

tasted like. All of his friends gathered around to see him be stupid. He

lit a stick, put it in his mouth, and said, "It tastes like... burning."

After that, he promptly died.

Afterwards, about four thousand annoying jerks did the world a big favor

and jumped off a cliff, thinking they were going to hit some water -- only

to find that they landed on jagged rocks, glass shards, killer-cacti, knives,

needles, and other sharp objects. They died quickly enough.

After all of these events happened, the author of this story was dragged

off to the looney bin to be put away for life. The reason for this was

being a little TOO creative with his writing.

 
My girlfriend bought me a recipe book (full of some of the most popular dishes from well-known restaurants) yesterday for Valentine's Day. I'm going to be eating well this week.

While simultaneously winning.

 
I got a very special valentines gift...

A normal day spent indoors with wife and kids because the weather sucks.
Where do you live at? Weather in Eastern Nebraska was terrible yesterday.

I spent the weekend in Omaha, and decided to leave Omaha around 1:30 to make it back to Lincoln before the afternoon was over. However, thanks to blowing snow on the interstate, almost every road into Lincoln got closed down thanks to accidents. I even heard reports of a 50-75 car pile up, although that was something I heard word-of-mouth and not from the news.

I spent 3 1/2 hours of my Valentine's Day trying to find ways in to Lincoln, finally settling on the most drawn out way to get there. I had to get off in Gretna, head to Springfield, take Highway 50 down past Louisville all the way to Highway 34, and then drive west for a long time until I got into the city limits.

What a day.

 
i dug out my street just so i could go to work. 25 yards of 2 to 3 foot deep snow. Just me and my shovel. 4 hours later, I still cant feel my legs.

 
Hoping for "last posts" from Bill Callahan, Kevin Cosgrove and Steve Petersen: May they never post again

Ignore function anyone?

 
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