Little known fact about Sam Keller

Sam Keller has such a cannon for an arm, he has to duck after he throws or the ball will hit him in the back of his head!

 
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Sam Keller once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

 
Sam Keller can speak braille

Kids piss their name in the snow, sam pisses his name in concrete

Sam once visited the virgin islands...they are now the islands

Sam clogs the toilet when he pees

Sam puts the 'laughter' in 'mansLAUGHTER'

Sam can do a wheelie on a unicycle

 
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Sam Keller brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Sam Keller finds it delicious.

 
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Celebrities all want to party with Hugh Heffner. All Hef' wants to do is party with Sam Keller.

Kryptonite destroys Superman. Sam Keller mixes it in with his Wheaties.

The reason that Bill Callahan holds scrimmages with non-contact with the quarterback is not to protect Sam Keller, it is to protect the defense.

Professor Stephen Hawkings got the idea for his best-seller "A Brief History Of Time" from one of Sam Keller's 1st grade finger paintings.

 
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The US Government and National Park Service will be meeting in the fall of '07 to vote who Sam Keller gets to replace on Mount Rushmore.

 
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