Roxy
Starter
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest inquired.
They say,
'Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said,
'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots,
Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,
And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .
That phrase . . In no time.'
Thank you,' the woman responded,
'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence.
Shocked,
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
And exclaimed,
'Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!'
Bubba's Daughter Gets Pregnant
Bubba's 12 year old daughter tells her Mom that she has missed her monthly cycle for the past 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, Bubba, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him.
"You gonna try again."
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest inquired.
They say,
'Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said,
'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots,
Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,
And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .
That phrase . . In no time.'
Thank you,' the woman responded,
'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence.
Shocked,
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
And exclaimed,
'Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!'
Bubba's Daughter Gets Pregnant
Bubba's 12 year old daughter tells her Mom that she has missed her monthly cycle for the past 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, Bubba, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him.
"You gonna try again."