Need some help here...

C

Cy the Cyclone

Starter
I have recently run into a troubling problem and am looking for a few suggestions on how to handle it.  The problem?  I don't know how to gloat properly.

You see...as a diehard ISU fan, I'm not familiar with success and haven't really had to worry about the etiquette of gloating before.  Oh sure, I'm surrounded by moron Hawkeyes fans who gloat about everything from their stolen Pittsburgh Steelers color scheme to their record of number of players cited for public urination...but the way they do it makes them seem like brainless a$$hole$ and makes the entire world hate them.  Actually, the entire world already hated them but their method of gloating just magnifies the hatred.  I don't want people to hate me.

On the other hand, I had a conversation with a coworker today who is a Kansas State fan and I mentioned that we were ranked 14th in the nation and asked her where K State was ranked this year.  When I realized what I said, I felt guilty about it.  Even after assuring her that I was joking and that I was sure K State would win their next game because it was a night game and Bill Snyder would be on the sideline coaching instead of laying in his coffin trying to hide from the sunlight, I still felt bad, especially since she has real big breasts.

So...here I am looking for some advice.  How do I gloat without becoming an asshat Hawkeyes type of gloater but without having to worry about losing a chance of motor boating with the hot office assistant? 

Now I know Nebraska fans have had their share of success in the past and most of the ones I have met have usually been very gracious about the fact that their team was good while my team sucked so I decided it would be a great dea to come to the experts and ask how to gloat properly.

Any advice would be appreciated...thank you in advance

Cy

 
Cy the Cyclone said:
I have recently run into a troubling problem and am looking for a few suggestions on how to handle it.  The problem?  I don't know how to gloat properly.

You see...as a diehard ISU fan, I'm not familiar with success and haven't really had to worry about the etiquette of gloating before.  Oh sure, I'm surrounded by moron Hawkeyes fans who gloat about everything from their stolen Pittsburgh Steelers color scheme to their record of number of players cited for public urination...but the way they do it makes them seem like brainless a$$hole$ and makes the entire world hate them.  Actually, the entire world already hated them but their method of gloating just magnifies the hatred.  I don't want people to hate me.

On the other hand, I had a conversation with a coworker today who is a Kansas State fan and I mentioned that we were ranked 14th in the nation and asked her where K State was ranked this year.  When I realized what I said, I felt guilty about it.  Even after assuring her that I was joking and that I was sure K State would win their next game because it was a night game and Bill Snyder would be on the sideline coaching instead of laying in his coffin trying to hide from the sunlight, I still felt bad, especially since she has real big breasts.

So...here I am looking for some advice.  How do I gloat without becoming an asshat Hawkeyes type of gloater but without having to worry about losing a chance of motor boating with the hot office assistant? 

Now I know Nebraska fans have had their share of success in the past and most of the ones I have met have usually been very gracious about the fact that their team was good while my team sucked so I decided it would be a great dea to come to the experts and ask how to gloat properly.

Any advice would be appreciated...thank you in advance

Cy
Click to expand...
You are asking the wrong board. Haven't been able to gloat since I was about 15.

 
 Hey Cy,

Love the post, as a born and bred Husker fan, I never gave two sh*ts about the Hawkeyes till I want to college there in the summer of '03. Callahan years were god awful. And within 2 weeks of football started, the Squakeyes had me rooting for them to loose every game. 

IMO its good you get some practice in gloating in this year, so next year when ISU beats the Hawkeyes, you can really rub it in. Until then, all they respond with is "scoreboard," or "good thing you're in the Big 12, cuz you would be 0-20 if you played the Big 10, that's right you'd lose every game twice." 

They don't even have a proper team name. They are hawkeyes, not hawks. Their mascot is only one part of a dumb bird. 

 
Husker fans had years of success to gloat and stick their chests out. ISU could be a one hit wonder. Hot one week and then all of a sudden that fire can burn out and everyone will forget. Like Matt Campbell said, respect the game, it's about the process. You're in no position to brag yet until you have a championship, IMO.

 
FTW said:
Husker fans had years of success to gloat and stick their chests out. ISU could be a one hit wonder. Hot one week and then all of a sudden that fire can burn out and everyone will forget. Like Matt Campbell said, respect the game, it's about the process. You're in no position to brag yet until you have a championship, IMO.
Click to expand...
I think he needs to gloat and enjoy it while he has the chance. 

In case ISU success continues for a few more seasons please Cy do not become jack-hole fans that have had recent success e.g. KSU, CU.  The Michigan smug gloating wouldn't fit either.  I'd continue with the subtle gloating you started.  Innocent questions like how are those Hawkeyes doing or where is your team ranked.  Join in CFB discussions you overhear and then drop something about how ISU should be ranked ahead of the two top 5 teams you beat.  Most people will have forgotten you are a Cyclone fan.  Sneak up on people, kind of like how your team has. 

 
Cy the Cyclone said:
How do I gloat without becoming an asshat Hawkeyes type of gloater
Click to expand...




I'm sorry but you're asking the entirely wrong fanbase. Iowa fans (at least in the western part of the state), might, maybe, be an incredibly pleasant lot if they didn't grow up being inundated with Omaha-based media and citizens talking convinced about how Nebraska football is god's superior and dominant gift to college football.

Cue the "Landlord is a closeted Iowa fan" comments any second.

In all seriousness Cy, congratulations on such a special time for your program. The highs and joys of unprecedented success for your sports team are hard to articulate but are pretty freaking special to be able to live through.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top