I've already said that once the BCS goes away, ND probably won't have much of a choice. I don't think that is happening until 2015, though. Which ND stays independent until then.
I get what you're saying here (that the Irish are as stubborn as it gets, which is absolutely the truth), and that they'll hold out as long possible. From there, you're surmising that Notre Dame will wait until the BCS is gone to finally join a conference, because they'll have to.
So my question back to that is: what conference? Everyone will be at 16. No room left.
Things are going to start happening fast now. Just look at the Big 12. Colorado announces they're going to the Pac-10. Nebraska then pulls the trigger a day later and says they're out. Now Texas has a conference call on Tuesday.
This is all about Notre Dame. The Big Ten wants Notre Dame, the Irish are holding out. So now, the Big Ten is playing this colossal game of Jenga, pulling pieces out. They floated Nebraska and Missouri out there early to shake things up. The Irish didn't move. So the Big Ten made the best pick (Nebraska) and started making motions. Everyone in the Big 12 freaked, and Colorado jumped ship. That particular Jenga stack is now falling.
Will that be enough? Let's find out. If not, the next Jenga game happens with the Big East. The Big Ten will start making motions there. ACC and SEC will then fast-track a deal, just like Pac-10/Colorado, but this time with two teams. Big Ten will then go in and make a grab as well (probably Rutgers). That will cause the Big East to crumble as well.
Then what? The Big Ten will be up to 13 at that point, and they won't stay uneven for long. Hell, they might even take two Big East teams (Syracuse?) and then there are only two spots left. At that point, there's going to be some major grabbing going on, as all the conferences scramble to reach the inevitable "super conference" mark. The Big Ten will hold out as long as possible, but we're not going to miss out on decent fits like Missouri, Kansas, Maryland, etc. for too long. Otherwise, we'll end up with someone like Cincinnati.
Notre Dame I think sees the writing on the wall. Or at least their admins do, and that's all that matters. The die-hard fans can threaten all they want, give up their season tickets, etc. But who cares? You know how long you have to wait for tickets? They'd be snatched up within 10 seconds. And the money they'd make from the BTN would more than make up for some stubborn Domers withholding alumni donations.
Notre Dame will join, and it will happen within the next six months (watch the Big East). Count on it.