http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/foot...n.ap/index.html
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) -- Nebraska athletic director Steve Pederson pledged his support Monday night to Bill Callahan and the rest of the football coaching staff in the wake of a 35-point loss to Missouri.
sunday night, however, he locked himself in his office, hid under his desk, went fetal and started to rock himself back and forth mumbling, "ohgodwhathaveidone? ohgodwhathaveidone? ohgodwhathaveidone?"
"What I've tried to do is be supportive and encouraging and make sure our coaches and players know we have tremendous confidence in them, belief in them, and we're doing all we can to help them succeed," Pederson said on his weekly radio show on the Husker Sports Network.
actually, what he means is, "what i've tried to do is be supportive because i've found that when leave sobbing voice mails detailing how he's breaking me at bill's home phone number, i get a less than positive response."
"We just don't leave people hanging out."
"unless your name is frank solich and finish 7-7 one year and then 9-3 the next. then it's OVER THE SIDE WIT' YA, swabbie!!! ARRRRRH!!!"
when pressed as to why he was suddenly speaking like a pirate, peterson had no comment.
"That's not my way."
pederson then sat for five minutes and giggled to himself when he thought back to how he changed the locks on solich's office right after the colorado game.
ah... good times...
"We're keeping them pepped up and focused, our players in particular. It's important that they get rejuvenated."
steve pederson then broke down again and started to weep like a little girl for about a minute and a half.
Pederson did not take calls from listeners.
and oddly enough, listeners were not surprised that pederson wasn't interesting in anything the fans had to say.
Fan unrest has been fueled by four straight uninspired defensive performances. The Cornhuskers (4-2, 1-1 Big 12) have allowed 600 yards in two of their past three games and have surrendered 40 points in three games for the first time since 1943.
and that was back when all the draft eligible youngsters where overseas fighting nazis and the imperial japanese.
just think about that one for a bit.
The Huskers were booed in the second half of a 41-40 win over 23-point underdog Ball State. They beat Iowa State 35-17 the following week, but the defense was on the field for 102 plays against the Big 12's bottom-ranked offense.
... but huskernation felt that there was a chance to recover. until...
... Missouri's Chase Daniel passed for a career-high 401 yards, and the Tigers gashed the Huskers for more than 600 yards while beating them 41-6. Nebraska's offense failed to score a touchdown for the first time in 33 games.
*sob!*
Pederson said he has tried to maintain a "steady hand" as the Huskers have struggled.
"steady hand" or "hands choking the life out of huskernation?" YOU MAKE THE CALL!
but steve wasn't done yet...
"First and foremost, you have to believe you're going the right direction," he said.
D E N I A L !
it ain't just a river in egypt any more!
"As we all know, there are going to be wins and losses. Earlier in my career, I got maybe more emotional and reactive than I should have.
pedersen then produced a bottle of pills from his jacket and shook them up a bit.
"but now that i'm taking these babies, i'm gellin' like felon!" exclaimed peterson. " i can't tell you what they are, 'cause they ain't exactly 'legal' as the cops would say."
pederson did the air quotes-thing with his hands when he said "legal," much to the annoyance of the press corps.
"Over the last seven or eight years, I've tried to keep that a little bit in check."
check yourself before you wreck yourself.
or in this case, your rich college football tradition.
but you get the idea.
Pederson said the coaches and players have high character...
... which is a good consolation given they can't play for nothing on the gridiron.
"and I believe these are times where you call on your own character to get you through these things."
unfortunately, the character the nebraska football has called-up is horshack from "welcome back, kotter".
these are the end times, folks.
He said it's important for the coaches and players to unify during tough times.
because when they're all together in one spot, it's a whole lot easier runnin' them outta town.
"I've always believed some of the most memorable experiences you have in athletics are when you go through the toughest times together," Pederson said.
"someday we're all gonna look back at all of this and laugh," chuckled pederson. "... i hope."