Post your Missouri jokes here

[knapplc]

One good turn deserves another.....

You know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska...... If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Pretty sure that's been posted here. One or two... thousand times.

 

[Tiger of the Corn]

Isn't this a kidding thread?

Or do you want me to bring up Christian Peter?

He was allowed to play too, right?

Now THAT'S funny.....

Bring up Christian Peter all you want, dude. Every time you reach up there to the back of the top shelf to try to crack on this team it makes you look weak.

Phillips and Christian Peter ended their Husker careers in 1995. 14 years, home boy. If you have to go back 14 years to dig up dirt on your opponent, I think you've officially jumped the shark.

If you and/or your cronies have to bring up booger picking?

Holy smokes....that's WEAK!

I don't know why the guy that allowed these convicts to play is still associated with the program.

THAT is why I'm dusting off their names.

Maybe since he's back, he'll start scouting prison yards for your next Heisman winner and bring the program back to national prominence.

 

[knapplc]

Isn't this a kidding thread?

Or do you want me to bring up Christian Peter?

He was allowed to play too, right?

Now THAT'S funny.....

Bring up Christian Peter all you want, dude. Every time you reach up there to the back of the top shelf to try to crack on this team it makes you look weak.

Phillips and Christian Peter ended their Husker careers in 1995. 14 years, home boy. If you have to go back 14 years to dig up dirt on your opponent, I think you've officially jumped the shark.

If you and/or your cronies have to bring up booger picking?

Holy smokes....that's WEAK!

I don't know why the guy that allowed these convicts to play is still associated with the program.

THAT is why I'm dusting off their names.

Maybe since he's back, he'll start scouting prison yards for your next Heisman winner and bring the program back to national prominence.

And just so we're clear - to you, an appropriate response to discussing your former quarterback's taped eating of his own booger is to rant about former players who have been arrested for rape and assault? This seems like an equal response to you?

EDIT - removed Blaine Dalton reference. It was in poor taste and unnecessary.

 

[flynlow]

One good turn deserves another.....

You know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska...... If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Pretty sure that's been posted here. One or two... thousand times.

Yay here.

If it's been posted here One or two... thousand times. Obviously, One or two... thousand people concur.

All in fun. I have a lot of respect for your program. I just like ours better.

BTW, Blaine Dalton was dismissed from the team and the university. I would say he didn't work out for us. The appropriate steps were taken.

 

[SaturnDrew]

Sorry, but the reality of this guy picking his nose and eating it on national TV is no joke. It's just plain a$$ed sick.

....and equally, a football player pulling a co-ed down the steps by her hair after breaking in to her apartment and then being allowed to play.

A travesty I tell you..... A travesty!

You're kidding us with this sh#t right? Even the most illogical Missouri fans who can't argue their way out of a paper bag wouldn't even resort to bringing this up in 2009.

Isn't this a kidding thread?

Or do you want me to bring up Christian Peter?

He was allowed to play too, right?

Now THAT'S funny.....

Not as funny as your weak arguments! Those are funny! I just hope your not serious, but sadly, I think you are trying to be serious.

Chase Daniel picking his nose on national TV---that will last for at least another year or two. By then Missouri will be back to obscurity and Nebraska will be pounding their asses into the ground like we have for decades prior to a few years back.

Jason Peter and LP, I figured with our decline over the last few years nobody would bring them up, but apparently there are people still jealous of our overwhelming success in those years. I understand. Keep talking about it. Our trophies still stand.

 

[knapplc]

BTW, Blaine Dalton was dismissed from the team and the university. I would say he didn't work out for us. The appropriate steps were taken.

True. My apologies for letting my distaste get in the way of better judgment.

 

[knapplc]

One good turn deserves another.....

You know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska...... If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Pretty sure that's been posted here. One or two... thousand times.

Yay here.

If it's been posted here One or two... thousand times. Obviously, One or two... thousand people concur.

Actually, it's usually posted by fans of other teams going after each other. I don't think I've seen it in reference to Nebraska. Although between you and me, it would apply to some folks from our state. We have more than our share of toothless hicks around here. Most of them seem to be driving in front of me most of the time, too.

 

[Tiger of the Corn]

Okay...I'll get back on point and post a joke instead of taking jabs at the Honorable Dr. Tom, and LP and Peter....and Johnny Rodgers. *phew*

Why is the Nebraska field made with artificial turf instead of grass?

So the cheerleaders won't be tempted to graze.

Just one more comment about your AD.

I was at a silent auction for a charity a couple years ago.

As I was perusing the items on the table, I ran across a football with Tom's autograph on it.

Some guy came up behing me with drool on his chin and asked how much I was going to bid for it.

I said, "Dude....you couldn't PAY me to take that football....."

He looked at me all weird and sh*t.

 

[flynlow]

I Recall meeting coach Osborne. I played at Mizzou 1983-86. We played in Lincoln in 84 (lost 33-23). After the game, coach Osborne came into our locker room, shook all our hands, said some kind words. We were waiting to leave, one of the busses that was chartered had broken down and we were told it could be several hours before they could get a replacement. We were pissed that we lost, we were starving and didn't want to sit around Memorial stadium several more hours. About 45 minutes later, coach Osborne came back in, told us to follow him, he led us to our one running buss and there were a bunch of people out in cars that we were supposed to get into. They drove us to some dining hall and had food catered to us. Then drove us back to our departure spot where they had another buss ready for us. Come to find out after we got back to CoMo at our team meeting the next morning, the people in the cars were asst coaches and athletic dept personnel. We found out that Coach Osborne had called some restaurant and ordered the food and paid for it out of his own pocket. The time he spent dealing with us I am told he had postponed a media meeting to make sure we were taken care of. I have nothing at all bad to say about him. That was pure class if you ask me.

 

[VA Husker2]

How can you tell when a Missouri woman is having her period?

She wearing only one sock

 

[VA Husker2]

What is the leading cause of death among Missouri women?

Toxic sock syndrome

 

[CENTEXHUSKER]

I Recall meeting coach Osborne. I played at Mizzou 1983-86. We played in Lincoln in 84 (lost 33-23). After the game, coach Osborne came into our locker room, shook all our hands, said some kind words. We were waiting to leave, one of the busses that was chartered had broken down and we were told it could be several hours before they could get a replacement. We were pissed that we lost, we were starving and didn't want to sit around Memorial stadium several more hours. About 45 minutes later, coach Osborne came back in, told us to follow him, he led us to our one running buss and there were a bunch of people out in cars that we were supposed to get into. They drove us to some dining hall and had food catered to us. Then drove us back to our departure spot where they had another buss ready for us. Come to find out after we got back to CoMo at our team meeting the next morning, the people in the cars were asst coaches and athletic dept personnel. We found out that Coach Osborne had called some restaurant and ordered the food and paid for it out of his own pocket. The time he spent dealing with us I am told he had postponed a media meeting to make sure we were taken care of. I have nothing at all bad to say about him. That was pure class if you ask me.

Great story, thanks for sharing!

 

[knapplc]

I Recall meeting coach Osborne. I played at Mizzou 1983-86. We played in Lincoln in 84 (lost 33-23). After the game, coach Osborne came into our locker room, shook all our hands, said some kind words. We were waiting to leave, one of the busses that was chartered had broken down and we were told it could be several hours before they could get a replacement. We were pissed that we lost, we were starving and didn't want to sit around Memorial stadium several more hours. About 45 minutes later, coach Osborne came back in, told us to follow him, he led us to our one running buss and there were a bunch of people out in cars that we were supposed to get into. They drove us to some dining hall and had food catered to us. Then drove us back to our departure spot where they had another buss ready for us. Come to find out after we got back to CoMo at our team meeting the next morning, the people in the cars were asst coaches and athletic dept personnel. We found out that Coach Osborne had called some restaurant and ordered the food and paid for it out of his own pocket. The time he spent dealing with us I am told he had postponed a media meeting to make sure we were taken care of. I have nothing at all bad to say about him. That was pure class if you ask me.

There are five hundred stories like that about Coach Osborne. And he'll beg off of praise for every one of them, because he doesn't see himself as the hero, or anything other than a guy trying to do right. He's been a treasure for this football program and this state, and we've been damned lucky to have him.

Thank you for sharing that. I have not heard that story, but it doesn't surprise me. We'll try to beat your butts on the field, but off the field we'll do our best to make sure you've had a wonderful time. That's what we're about, and what Coach Osborne is all about, too.

Win or lose next Thursday, it'd be great if you made Huskerboard a regular stop on your web surfing. You're good people, FlyN. :thumbs

 

[TheEvilBeak]

Mizzuruns can use Lincoln Logs for toothpicks.

 

[dizzturbedNUfan]

Okay...I'll get back on point and post a joke instead of taking jabs at the Honorable Dr. Tom, and LP and Peter....and Johnny Rodgers. *phew*

Why is the Nebraska field made with artificial turf instead of grass?

So the cheerleaders won't be tempted to graze.

Just one more comment about your AD.

I was at a silent auction for a charity a couple years ago.

As I was perusing the items on the table, I ran across a football with Tom's autograph on it.

Some guy came up behing me with drool on his chin and asked how much I was going to bid for it.

I said, "Dude....you couldn't PAY me to take that football....."

He looked at me all weird and sh*t.

Why do chicks in Misery have 10 more brain cells then cows???

So when you play with their teets they don't crap on the floor!!! :ahhhhhhhh