Things your kids do or say

Took my kids to daycare one morning so my wife could sleep after working the night shift at the hospital. We walk in the door and my 5 year old promptly tells the gal there that "Mommy didn't come home last night." She gave me a look of concern as I smiled and walked away.

 
We're currently watching the Gator Bowl. Long since lost track of how many times we've watched it but my six-year-old son keeps requesting it so I keep it on the DVR.

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We'll see how today goes, but for about three games in a row my six year old Brock has decided to yell at me how terrible kids on opposing tball teams that they can't hit. Said it was boring as the other kids hit worse than girls. He is playing pitcher and yelling it loud enough I'm sure people at the other fields are hearing it.

 
My late 20s son called the other day excited. He is on a low carb diet and just found out about spaghetti squash, and explained everything about it. I suggested he try the lasagna squash. Hasn't called back yet.

 
I was talking about something and mentioned the term, "wives' tale." My four-year-old gave me a perplexed look.

Me: "Do you know what a wives' tale is?"

Son: "Yes. A mermaid."

/ impressed by the double entendre answer.

 
I was talking about something and mentioned the term, "wives' tale." My four-year-old gave me a perplexed look.

Me: "Do you know what a wives' tale is?"

Son: "Yes. A mermaid."

/ impressed by the double entendre answer.
Like father, like son
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My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.

 
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My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.

My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.
Kids can be brutally honest.!

 
My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.
Hahaha! That's awesome!!
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My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.
So how did they enjoy riding the bench this season?

 
My 8 month old decided to pull his diaper off yesterday morning and spread sh#t all around his crib, on the wall and all over himself. We walked in and he was just standing there, painting the wall, jabbering away. I started laughing and my wife wasn't to thrilled about it. I ended up hauling the crib outside and power washing it while she scrubbed the walls. Have to say this is the first time in 4 kids that it has happened.

 
My 8 month old decided to pull his diaper off yesterday morning and spread sh#t all around his crib, on the wall and all over himself. We walked in and he was just standing there, painting the wall, jabbering away. I started laughing and my wife wasn't to thrilled about it. I ended up hauling the crib outside and power washing it while she scrubbed the walls. Have to say this is the first time in 4 kids that it has happened.
Worst nightmare ever for me outside of something happening to my kids. Never happened that way, but one of my boys did pull his diaper off in an attempt to change himself and stepped in it. I could follow his trail around the house, I literally locked up when I opened my bedroom door and the smell hit me. I was like, "OH NO, IT HAPPENED!"

 
My boys played teeball this summer for the first time in organized sports. They meet their coach and of course he's a Hawkeye fan. Twin A sees the Hawkeye tattoo on his right ankle and asks the coach, "Coach, what's that?" *points at ankle* The coach says, "That's my Hawkeye tattoo." Twin A says: "THE HAWKEYES SUCK!" *whilst wearing his Nebraska hat* It was loud enough everyone around the field heard it. Twin B starts belly laughing, the kind that's awesome. I walked away laughing and told the coach later that's all on me. The look on his face was priceless when Twin A let him have it. Proud parenting moment, my brain washing is just about complete here.
So how did they enjoy riding the bench this season?
Lol, coach didn't have a choice, but to play them. There were only six kids on the team. Overall it was a waste of time to do teeball, but the boys seemed to like it.

 
My 8 month old decided to pull his diaper off yesterday morning and spread sh#t all around his crib, on the wall and all over himself. We walked in and he was just standing there, painting the wall, jabbering away. I started laughing and my wife wasn't to thrilled about it. I ended up hauling the crib outside and power washing it while she scrubbed the walls. Have to say this is the first time in 4 kids that it has happened.
We use cloth "G diapers" which velcro in the back, I'm hoping that little engineering feat will prevent him taking his own diapers off...

 
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