Those of you that do hiring...what awesome lies do you see on resumes?

This isn’t a hiring story but rather an account of how one person filled out a job application. This was about 30 years ago and it was for a construction position. I still have a copy of this application somewhere because it was hilarious. (Don’t tell hippa).

Heres a few I remember off the top of my head.

Position at last job; Red hat

Bosses title; Yellow hat

Job duties performed; made jougs (he meant jugs)

And my favorite...

List any hobbies, clubs, civic organizations etc. you participate in or are a member of excluding those which indicate race, color, religion etc: Black 4 members racial Kenya

You can’t make this stuff up.

 
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I've found that being bluntly honest in an interview will get you a lot of rejections, but it also weeds out companies that don't want their employees to tell the truth.

 
One instance that cracked me up, and I still reference today.   This wasn't on the resume, but during the interview process.

Q--This job goes through some stretches where it will be really busy, and some times where it will be relatively slow.   Please tell us how you'll handle the slow times?

Answer--I like to stretch my work to make it look like I'm constantly busy.

 
HuskerInLostWages said:
I work in IT and get people that know they aren't qualified for the positions I hire for, but they put stuff in like "i'm a quick learner" or "I build my own gaming rigs".  These people apply for Senior positions and i'm like welp I guess you can't get hired if you don't try.  I have called a few of them and gave them a phone interview but when i ask what salary range are they looking for they tell me things like "well I looked up a Sr IT Security Engineers salary range and though i don't have that much experience(try none, i've read your resume remember) they are starting at 75k, so about 80k yearly.".  I try to help and get these people's foot in the door so i say you're not really a fit for this position but we do have a few desktop support positions available and you can build up your experience and learn from people like me, but you will only make 16 an hour, they are no longer interested.  I have given up trying to give people a chance, this is how I got my chance and how I gained my experience, but no, they want to start at the top and be fired within a week when it's discovered they don't know their arse from their elbow because they built their home PC.
Click to expand...


Not on a resume but I had a guy interview for an IT spot one time who said something to the effect of "my wife is really good with computers so if I have a problem I can call her".

He didn't make the cut.

 
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I have found that it helps being a super hot girl if you are being interviewed by men.

On a related note...I interviewed a few years back for a position that I really didn't care if I got or not but it had been awhile since I interviewed and there was a slight chance it would be a nice raise so a daughter of a lady I worked with set it up for me...it was a panel interview which I kind of expected AND they made you "Teach" a lesson to the panel (this is sort of a newer thing in education and totally stupid, but whatever), they also wanted a wrestling coach, something I did but don't feel like doing anymore more...

So I get there early and I am sitting in my car jamming out to some Dokken and I see this young guy walk out...dude looked like he was made in a lab...like a male model...and for a second I thought "Hmmm...I hope there are no females on the panel", now, don't get me wrong, I am a good looking cat but this guy made me look like Steve Buscemie.  

So I get out of my car and get in the building and wait...the principal greets me and we chat a bit...turns out some of the old coaching staffs I used to be on kicked the s#!t out of his old staffs, we laugh about it and he says "So, I will be in the panel but I let them decide who will get the offer"

No problem...I walk in and sit down...in comes the panel...5 people...the dude principal...and 4 women.  I knew at that moment that I had no chance at all.

 
Kinda related to what @teachercdjust talked about, there's a new interview technique being done with engineers.   I call it the 'dude/bro end' interview.  The two doing the interview are a male and female.  When the female asks the question, if the candidate directs his answer to the male only, he's automatically eliminated from consideration.

 
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