huskernumerouno
All-American
Some modern variations on an old theme...
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day
One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken >learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I ' ve not been told.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? '
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......
reboot.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
d!(k CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day
One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken >learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I ' ve not been told.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? '
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......
reboot.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
d!(k CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.