Your Worst Date Story...

I've paid for stuff (drinks, small appetizers) on a few dates. I don't think its ever been more than $17 or $18, but I'm still haunted by those nights.

 
Stood up? Yeah, once.

I got this girls number while at a bar, there was some party going on, going away party I think. I scored her digits with the old move of handing her my phone and telling her to put her number in since I was heading out to a new bar in a few minutes...

We texted a few times but looking back on it the texts seemed a bit "cold" anyway we were going to meet up, I got to the place and texted her while I was in the parking lot...no response...so I just waited about 10 minutes and texted her again...nothing. So I left.

I can't remember if it was while I was driving home or not but she texted me and said her brother was in a bad accident or something like that...she might have been being honest but it seemed like a blow off.

 
Alright, so one of my old roomates named Tom worked at a TV repair place in Lincoln. For a few months he had been chatting online with this gal in Florida who told him she worked at a model agency (you can already see where this is going). Our lease was almost up and two of us were moving across town but Tom was not. We joked "Hey you could just move to Florida". Well, the idea stuck.

So Tom sets up a meeting with his online gal pal to come check the place out. Tells his boss he might be moving. Even goes so far to possibly arrange opening a new location out there for him to run. He leaves for a week to meet his new GF.

Week later he comes back. Guess what? He isnt moving to Florida. She did work at a modeling agency....as a secretary. She was as wide as she was tall. He ended up hanging out with her Dad more than her. Can you say Catfished?

 
Not really a date but along the same lines. My girlfriend at the time in college had finished finals already and wanted to party. I still had tests to take so I bought her and a friend a liter of cheap vodka so they could do some drinking. They were not yet 21. One hour and a half later they came back having finished the vodka and wanted more, thought they were both pretty drunk already. My girlfriend ends up praying to the porcelain gods and staying over night. Her friend leaves in her car and is not seen again that night.

The next day we go looking for her and can't find her anywhere but do spot my GF's car in the police impound lot. We go into the station and sure enough she is in jail on a DWI charge. My GF mom is coming to get her to move back home for the summer and her car is locked up and the clutch is burned out and she is hung over like a big dog. Needless to say it wasn't a real pleasant first meeting with her mother that day.

But, we have been married for 25 years so I guess it worked out.

 
Okay.

So here it goes. Not a first date, but a F-UP.

I chased a lot of chicks back in my hayday. I reeled in some, so this is a story about one of em. I was at a wedding dance and met this smoking hot chick. She actually was Miss Nebraska. We hung out a bunch, were dating, fooling around and then I made a stupid decision to call her one night for a ride home from the bar. She got me, and had to stop at her parents but I insisted on going in to meet them at 3 AM. I came in loudly acting like an idiot and pissed her off. To top it off, I knew she was mad so I got mad and slept on the couch. The next morning I thought I'd make it better by taking her out to lunch, but it was over.

Just an epic douchebag move. Luckily I found someone better and haven't screwed up yet! Cross your fingers guys!

 
Show up to the girls house to pick her up for the first date with flowers and chocolates, wearing my suit, I was 14 give me a break, first real date not arranged by my parents.

Girl was on a date with another guy from the High School, forgot about our date.

I left the flowers and chocolates with her Grandmother, went home. Got a call later at around 10 pm she apologized said we could hang out then or another time, I told her that ship has sailed. She keyed my car the next day.

I had a farm license at 14, was planning on taking her out, got beat to the punch.

In hindsight, should of sent a thank you letter to the guy who took her out. Year later I got another brand new car, she keyed that one as well...

 
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Met a first date at a restaurant that had valet parking. After eating she wanted to walk over to a bar for some drinks. I forgot that I had used the valet parking which I don't normally do so after leaving the bar my car keys were in the restaurant that had closed. Fortunately I had left my house unlocked so she took me home and spent the night. I'm not sure if the date would have ended the same if I hadn't been stranded by the valet service but I had the thought of trying to duplicate the accident on other dates. I think I concluded that the key was to get them to suggest going to the bars so they would feel guilty later on and give me a ride home. Since I couldn't figure that out I never tried to "accidentally" forget that I used valet parking.

 
Heres a story that my buddy loves and always had me tell it to new coworkers when I used to work at the county jail which he deemed it as the red shirt story. So here's the story:

The summer after graduating high school I dated a chick who would be entering her sophomore year at UNI in the fall. One evening we went out to dinner, I'm dressed up in my nice pants and a white Husker polo. After dinner we decided to head back to my parents house to watch a movie.

We get back to my parents house and we're watching A Beautiful Mind. The movie isn't keeping us entertained so we decide to make out which turns into her getting on top of me and straddling me. Shes wearing a mini skirt so I had easy access to the goods. We're going at it for about 5-10 minutes and all of a sudden I hear my mom at the bottom of the steps calling for me. My date got off of me so I could go see what my mom wanted. My mom asked if the movie was over and when my date was going to head home to which I told her that its almost over and that she'll leave when the movie ends.

We go back at it and the movie ends. I walk my date upstairs, give her a kiss before she left the house and then I went to go use the bathroom. I go back downstairs to use the bathroom, turn the lights on and I'm surprised by my reflection in the mirror because my lower white Husker polo and the top part of my jeans are covered in blood.....period blood. It seriously looks like I butchered something straight out of a horror movie. I'm panicking because of the blood and whether or not my mom even saw the blood but I run upstairs to the laundry room and grabbed some Shout. I'm spraying the crap out of my favorite Husker polo and my nice jeans. I get all of the period blood out of my clothes, quickly run upstairs to throw them in the wash machine.

The next day my mom washed my clothes and I continued to wear that polo years after the incident. I never did bring up what happened to my clothes with my lady friend because I didn't want to embarrass her or of fear that the relationship would end. Thinking back to when my mom called for me while the lady friend and I were going at it, I wonder if there was enough light from the big screen to the point where my mom could see the blood on my clothes but to this day my mom has never said a word about that day.

 
So when I was a Sophmore there was this chick that had been hooking up with my older cousin. She had this friend who was a Freshman that got around WAY more than you would expect a chick that age to.

They came walking through the grocery store I worked at one day. The Freshman turns out to be "interested" in another buddy of ours. Im supposed to get him to come out to my place that night. He comes through later, I tell him, he says HELL NO.....then show up anyway, go figure. He acts totally uninterested but ends up going on a walk with her, they come back holding hands and all mushy and talking about f'ing homecoming dance and sh#t and how now they are dating. Eventually they go for a "drive". Her friend says "Heh, watch. When they come back they will be broken up".

When they get back he walks straight into my house for the bathroom, she walks up to us and informs us they are no longer together. While in the act of him performing on her, she had a visitor. Dude earned his red wings before he ever busted his cherry. Although the seasoned chick gave him mad props, said he went down like a pro.

 
When I was down in Atlanta I had a girl invite me over one night - she lived outside the perimeter about a half hour away and in the time that it took me to get there she had fallen asleep from drinking box wine and her apartment complex was gated. So then I went home.

Not a great story but someone asked about being stood up, which this doesn't necessarily qualify for but kind of. She made it up to me.

 
Landlord of Memorial Stadium said:
When I was down in Atlanta I had a girl invite me over one night - she lived outside the perimeter about a half hour away and in the time that it took me to get there she had fallen asleep from drinking box wine and her apartment complex was gated. So then I went home.

Not a great story but someone asked about being stood up, which this doesn't necessarily qualify for but kind of. She made it up to me.
Click to expand...
Somebody got a little something something from her later on, if you know what I mean..!

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^^^ That's what I mean.

 
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