Roxy

http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you" She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic!" "OK" the Nun says, "Pull into the next alley." The Nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child", said the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Jeff and I'm going to a Halloween party."

http://www.ex-designz.net/recipedisplay.asp?rid=122 http://www.massrecipes.com http://www.recipegoldmine.com/wings/wings.html

Cheese Dip: Dice one green pepper and one red pepper and place in a crockpot. Add one 4 oz. can diced green chilies and one 14.5 oz. can diced tomatoes with chilies. Rough cut one pound Velveta and add to pot. Rough cut 8 oz. Montery Jack and add to pot. Add one more pound chopped Velveta. Do not stir to mix. Sprinkle top with garlic powder. Heat on high until cheese is melted, stirring occasionally after the first hour. Once the cheese has melted add about 8 oz. sour cream, stir to mix. Serve warm with tortilla chips. Yummy! Oatmeal Scotchies 1 cup butter or margarine 3/4 cup white sugar 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 1 1/4 cups flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1/2 salt (opt) 1/2 tsp. cinnamon 3 cups oatmeal 1 12 oz. pkg. butterscotch chips Beat together margarine, sugar and eggs till creamy. Gradually add combined flour, baking soda, salt & cinnamon, mix well. Stir in remaining ingredients. Drop by level tablespoonsful onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake in 375 oven, 7-8 mins. for a chewy cookie, or 9-10 mins. for a crisp cookie. Cool 2 minutes on cookie sheets, remove to wire rack. Makes 4 dozen.. Chicken Noodle Soup 2 1/2 cups wide egg noodles 1 teaspoon vegetable oil 12 cups chicken broth 1 1/2 tablespoons salt 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning 1 cup chopped celery 1 cup chopped onion 1/3 cup cornstarch 1/4 cup water 3 cups diced, cooked chicken meat 3/4 cup sliced mushrooms 1 cup sliced carrots DIRECTIONS: Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add egg noodles and oil, and boil for 8 minutes, or until tender. Drain, and rinse under cool running water. In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, combine broth, salt, and poultry seasoning. Bring to a boil. Stir in celery and onion. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 15 minutes. In a small bowl, mix cornstarch and water together until cornstarch is completely dissolved. Gradually add to soup, stirring constantly. Stir in noodles and chicken, and heat through. Libby's® Pumpkin Roll with Cream Cheese Filling INGREDIENTS: 1/4 cup powdered sugar (to sprinkle on towel) 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 1/4 teaspoon salt 3 large eggs 1 cup granulated sugar 2/3 cup LIBBY'S® 100% Pure Pumpkin 1 cup walnuts, chopped (optional) 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened 1 cup powdered sugar, sifted 6 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 cup powdered sugar (optional) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DIRECTIONS: PREHEAT oven to 375 degrees F. Grease 15 x 10-inch jelly-roll pan; line with wax paper. Grease and flour paper. Sprinkle towel with powdered sugar. COMBINE flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves and slat in small bowl. Beat eggs and sugar in large mixer bowl until thick. Beat in pumpkin. Stir in flour mixture. Spread evenly into prepared pan. Sprinkle with nuts. BAKE for 13 to 15 minutes or until top of cake springs back when touched. Immediately loosen and turn cake onto prepared towel. Carefully peel off paper. Roll up cake and towel together, starting with narrow end. Cool on wire rack. BEAT cream cheese, powdered sugar, butter and vanilla extract in small mixer bowl until smooth. Carefully unroll cake; remove towel. Spread cream cheese mixture over cake. Reroll cake. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least one hour. Sprinkle with powdered sugar before serving, if desired.

Coney Island Hot Dogs with Damn – Good Garlic Sauce Sauce 1 small yellow onion, chopped 2 T. olive oil 2/3 c. firmly packed chopped garlic 1 can (14 1/2 ounces) crushed tomatoes 1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce 1 c. water 1 1/2 T. chili powder 1 scant T. packed brown sugar 1 t. cumin 1 t. paprika 1/2 t. kosher salt 12 ounces ground chuck, cooked and crumbled Hot Dogs 4 to 6 large white hot dog buns, split but not separated 4 T. unsalted butter at room temp.-can use regular butter 4 to 6 large hot dogs, grilled 1 small sweet onion Tangy yellow mustard for serving To make the sauce - In a skillet, saute the onion in the olive oil over medium-low heat until translucent. Add the garlic and stir one to two minutes, do not brown. In a large saucepan over medium heat combine the tomatoes, tomato sauce, water, garlic mixture, chili powder, brown sugar, cumin, paprika and salt. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to a simmer, continue to simmer about 1 1/2 hours (until thick). Stir in crumbled meat. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and chili powder. To assemble the hot dogs – Heat a large skillet over medium heat, butter the buns and toast until golden. Add hot dogs to buns, spoon sauce and garnish with onion and mustard. Variation – Damn – Good Sloppy Joe Cook the sauce as described above using 1 1/2 pounds ground chuck, simmer long enough to spread on a sandwich.

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While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better of f in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

That is the pitts that they do that! If I had a kid in that school and they got a real bad cold...I would send the dr. bill to the school and make them pay for it!

Do any of you think that any Nebraska players or coaches ever read this forum?

Rush is a moron for saying that! Sorry...I didn't see your post about it before I posted it.

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school." KIDS ; DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM???

http://mediamatters.org/items/200610240001

Wow..talk about being a basket case..this guy is nuts!

http://www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com/video_list_pop.asp this one is funny in my opinion anyway:) http://www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com/video_di...sp?videoid=1049

Tator Tot Bake 3/4 to 1 lb. ground beef 1 small onion, chopped Salt and pepper to taste 1 package (16 oz.s) frozen tater tot potatoes 1 can (10-3/4 oz.s) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted 2/3 cup milk or water 1 cup (4 oz.s) shredded cheddar cheese In a skillet, cook beef and onion until beef is browned and onion is tender; drain. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a greased 1-1/2 to 2-qt. baking dish. Top with potatoes. Combine soup and milk or water; pour over potatoes. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 30-40 minutes. Chili Skillet 1 pound ground beef 1 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup chopped green pepper 1 garlic clove, minced 1 cup tomato juice 1 can (18 oz.s) kidney beans, undrained 1/2 cup uncooked long grain rice 4 teaspoons chili powder 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup canned or frozen corn 1/2 cup sliced ripe olives 1 cup (4 oz.s) shredded cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese In a large skillet over medium heat, cook beef, onion, green pepper and garlic until meat is browned and vegetables are tender; drain. Add tomato juice, beans, rice, chili powder, oregano and salt; cover and simmer for 25 minutes or until the rice is tender. Stir in corn and olives; cover and cook for 5 minutes. Sprinkle with cheese; cover and cook until the cheese is melted, about 5 minutes. Oven-Barbecued Chicken 1 broiler-fryer chicken (3 to 4 lbs.), cut up 3 tablespoons butter or margarine 1/3 cup chopped onion 3/4 cup ketchup 1/3 cup vinegar 3 tablespoons brown sugar 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 2 teaspoons prepared mustard 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper Heat 1/4-in. oil in a large skillet; brown chicken on all sides. Drain; transfer chicken to a greased 13x9x2-in. baking dish. In a saucepan, melt butter, saute onion until tender. Stir in remaining ingredients. Simmer, uncovered, for 15 minutes. Pour over chicken. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until juices run clear, basting occasionally. Barbecued Spareribs 4 pounds pork spareribs, cut into serving-size pieces 1 medium onion, quartered 2 teaspoons salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper Sauce: 1/2 cup cider vinegar 1/2 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup ketcup 1/2 cup ketchup 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce 2 tablespoons chopped onion 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon ground mustard 1 garlic clove, minced Dash cayenne pepper In a large skillet or Dutch oven, place ribs and onion; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add enough water to cover; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 1-1/2 hours or until tender. Meanwhile, combine sauce ingredients in a saucepan. Simmer, uncovered, for 1 hour or until slightly thickened, stirring occasionally. Drain ribs; place on a rack in a broiler pan. Brush ribs with sauce. Broil 5 in. from the heat for 5 minutes on each side, brushing frequently with sauce. Golden Catfish Fillets 1 egg white 1 cup milk 1 cup cornmeal 3/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1/8 teaspoon pepper 4 catfish fillets (8 oz.s each) Vegetable oil Lemon or lime wedges, optional In a shallow bowl, beat the egg white until foamy; add milk and mix well. In another shallow bowl, combine the cornmeal, salt, garlic powder, cayenne and pepper. Dip fillets in milk mixture, then coat with cornmeal mixture. Heat 1/4-in. of oil in a large skillet; fry fish over medium-high heat for 3-4 minutes or until fish flaskes easily with a fork. Garnish with lemon or lime if desired. Tuna Mushroom Casserole 1/2 cup water 1 teaspoon chicken bouillon granules 1 package (10 oz.s) frozen cut green beans 1 cup chopped onion 1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms 1/4 cup chopped celery 1 garlic clove, minced 1/2 teaspoon dill weed 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 4 teaspoons cornstarch 1-1/2 cups milk 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese 1/4 cup mayonnaise 2-1/2 cups medium noodles, cooked and drained 1 can (12-1/4 oz.s) tuna, drained and flaked 1/3 cup dry bread crumbs 1 tablespoon butter or margarine In a large saucepan, bring water and bouillon to a boil, stirring to dissolve. Add the next eight ingredients, bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Combine cornstarch and milk until smooth; add vegetable mixture, stirring constantly. Bring to a boil; boil 2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat, stir in the cheese and mayonnaise until cheese is melted. Fold in noodles and tuna. Pour into a greased 2-1/2 qt. baking dish. Brown bread crumbs in butter; sprinkle over casserole. Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 25-30 minutes or until heated through.

I have had alot of interesting trips to the mailbox...I never know what is going to happen when I go get the mail. One time the mail person left everyones mailboxes open and I couldn't get them locked back up so called 911 for non-emergency so everyones mail wouldn't be robbed..that is just one story of my trips to the mailbox lol Yesterday when going to get the mail, ...I saw a cat across the street. I have seen that cat before and it is pretty. I walked across the street to see if I could pet it, but, it was wild and it ran away. As I was standing there, I heard a meow from inside the bushes that were by the sidewalk. I got on my hands and knees and sure enough, there was a pretty white cat behind the bushes. I couldn't reach it to get it out, so I walked back to our house and got some tuna. I know that cats love tuna and it would come out to eat it. It did and I let it eat some, put it in my arms and walked back to our house. My hon looked at it and said we could keep it:) I named the cat Snowy. It is a great cat and sits on my lap alot..it is definetely a lap cat:) My hon thinks it is siamese or part siamese. Anyway..I couldn't just let it stay there and get ran over or something and die. I love that cat.

:)

emotional distress??????? Man these stupid law suits really make me mad!

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box? We're leaving from the office, and I will swing by the house to pick up my things." "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being the good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do ?" (You'll love the answer ...) The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box."

Blackened Fish Makes 6 servings 3/4 lb. (3 sticks) unsalted butter, melted in a skillet Seasoning Mix: 1 tablespoon sweet paprika 2-1/2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon ground red pepper (preferably cayenne) 3/4 teaspoon white pepper 3/4 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano leaves 6 (8-to 10-oz.) fish fillets (preferably redfish, pompano or tilefish), cut about 1/2 inch thick (see NOTE) Note: Redfish and pompano are ideal for this method of cooking. If tilefish is used, you may have to split the fillets in half horizontally to have the proper thickness. If you can't get any of these fish, salmon steaks or red snapper fillets can be substiuted. In any case, the filllets or steaks must not be more than 3/4 inch thick. Heat a large cast-iron skillet over very high heat until it is beyond the smoking stage and you can see white ash in the skillet bottom (the skillet cannot be too hot for this dish), at least 10 minutes. Meanwhile, pour 2 tablespoons melted butter in each of 6 small ramekins; set aside and keep warm. Reserve the remaining butter in the skillet. Heat the serving plates in a 250 degree oven. Thoroughly combine the seasoning mix ingredients in a small bowl. Dip each fillet in the reserved melted butter so that both skins are well coated; then sprinkle seasoning mix generously and evenly on both sides of the fish fillets, patting it in by hand. Place in the hot skillet and pour 1 teaspoon melted butter on top of each fillet (be careful, as the butter may flame up). Cook, uncovered, over the same high heat until the underside looks charred, about 2 minutes (the time will vary according to the fillet's thickness and the heat of the skillet). Turn the fish over and again pour 1 teaspoon butter on top; cook until fish is done, about 2 minutes more. Repeat with remaining fillets. Seve each fillet while popping hot. To serve, place one fillet and a ramekin of butter on each heated serving plate.

Whoever decides to make the crockpot roast recipe that I posted...remember to make the potatoes seperate...the potatoes will turn brown if you make them in the crockpot.

http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/game/dond.swf

I didn't know if you saw where you could find other recipes on that crockpot link I posted the other day..so will post them too. http://www.copykatchat.com/archive/index.php?f-5.html http://www.copykatchat.com/archive/index.php?f-8.html http://www.copykatchat.com/archive/index.php?f-7.html http://www.copykatchat.com/archive/index.php?f-6.html

We went the store yesterday and bought the stuff to make that roast again for tomorrow...I could eat that roast everyday:) It is the best ever in my opinion and hope you like it too:)