Feast/Famine

[MVPujols]

Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this.

 

 

 

Oh man! Today’s game marks the highest/lowest point in my life as a Husker fan. We better start booking our trips to the BCS Championship Game/getting to know our future opponents in the FCS division. Look out baby! Nebraska is back/in a free fall back to the Callahan era!

 

Tom Osborne is a genius/idiot for hiring Bo Pelini. It was the best/worst decision of his entire career. Pelini and the rest of the coaching staff better be given raises and spa memberships/fired and on the next Trailways Bus outta of Lincoln.

 

I can’t believe the offense! They came out guns hot/and shot themselves in the foot. The receivers caught/dropped everything that was thrown to them and the running game was so good Mike Rozier no longer feels like a worthy Heisman trophy winner/bad Frankenstein’s monster would be a better option at running back. And I think we’ve really got things figured out/a disaster on our hands at quarterback.

 

Tim Beck is a genius/idiot of an offensive coordinator. His multiple scheme is so innovative/predictable that the opposing defense had no idea/knew exactly what we were going to run. His playbook will one day be considered the Art of War of offensive game planning/isn’t worth wasting a match to burn it.

 

And don’t even get me started on the defense! The Blackshirts/Pinkshirts were so fierce/timid I’m surprised the other team didn’t cancel their football program/hang half a hundred each quarter. The defense tackled so good/bad in open space even a prime OJ Simpson couldn’t evade their clutches/an arthritic 64-year-old OJ Simpson could outrun them with ease. The secondary should be commended for being on total lockdown/having such good manners. The welcome mat at the end zone was a nice touch.

 

Tomorrow I plan to strut around in every piece of Husker gear I own/lock myself in the garage and juggle sharp objects. This was a true signature win/meltdown of epic proportions.

 

The college football season is a heck of a roller coaster ride and no matter what happens next week I’ll be proud/proud to be a Husker fan.