Woman gets compliments and hates life...

[Redux]

I like to stare at them from across the room. Ill be wearing a leisure suit and have my hair parted. If they dont respond to that Ill tell em I used to backyard wrestle in HS and currently have all my original pubes. They pretty much line up and Ive gotta beat em off with a stick.

[RedRedJarvisRedwine]

Once again something that be be solved with money! Roll up to her in a nice ride with the chloroform discreetly hidden. Then..... Oh you're trying to date her.....ahhhh!!

[carlfense]

Some kind of creepy stuff in here. I never realized that getting laid took such effort.

[ShawnWatson]

Good to know they are "taking donations". What in the hell good would they do taking money besides buying sh#t for themselves?

[GM_Tood]

I like asking women "Hey, would you be interested in having the most below average night ever??"

"Lowered Expectations" dating site.

[zoogs]

This is harassment. This is a lot of strangers ignoring boundaries. Of course if they were not strangers, the contact would be received very differently. The point isn't to condemn every individual man who does this, but to show the sheer volume of what some women have to deal with, something that is completely foreign to men. We don't know what it's like and *clearly* it is an extremely difficult concept to grasp: that women who go into public are not "putting themselves out there" into the dating pool and fielding all interested inquirers.

 

A woman going out into public is not the same thing as putting herself out there in the dating world to field all interested parties. For (most?) men, we can't fathom that stepping outside is anything more than just stepping outside.

 

Maybe the best analogy would be to consider your reaction if you were walking with your wife or girlfriend and she was receiving these kinds of catcalls, how would you respond? I'd probably be pretty wary of them and what they might try to do, which is probably how these women feel to begin with. I think guys are much less likely to do this to women walking with other men, but walking without a man isn't an open invitation. That's probably the part where these guys struggle most.

 

Lastly, there are of course situations where it's OK to approach a stranger in public or give them a compliment, etc: situations where the other party is okay with it. If it's just a passer-by on the street, consider the high possibility that she's not, in fact, looking for you to hit on her and don't be that guy.

[Creighton Duke]

^^^^^^

2 minutes of 10 hours of walking through crappy NYC neighborhoods shows "sheer volume" of "harassment"? "Hi, how are you?" is "harassment"? Sure, ok.

 

What are these situations when it is OK to approach a stranger in public, then? According to the video, it would seem to imply that it is okay if you are A. a race other than Black or Hispanic B. Have good "game" So as long as you fit a certain racial demographic and a certain level of social awareness you're good? Does that seem to be correct? It seems a bit racist and some other kind of "-ists" to me.

 

I will continue to be that guy and will continue to be rewarded by women who I've met telling me later on, "I'm so glad that there are still guys that have the guts to approach someone who they are interested in."

[zoogs]

Okay, then.

 

To answer your question, anything where you aren't making the other person uncomfortable. Nobody wants to be made to feel uncomfortable. All that's being asked is the same consideration be given to others. "Golden rule" stuff, super simple. If you, personally, are not making women uncomfortable, that's great. Your individual social touch doesn't change the fact that there are many women out there who do get made uncomfortable. That's the issue.

 

And how long do you think it takes to walk 10 hours in NYC? A week, two weeks, a month? Even assuming that video was 100% comprehensive and not kept to that length for presentation, is that the appropriate volume of catcalling that women should simply accept as part of their weekly or monthly commute and errands?

Edited October 29, 2014 by zoogies

[carlfense]

^^^^^^

2 minutes of 10 hours of walking through crappy NYC neighborhoods shows "sheer volume" of "harassment"?

Crappy neighborhoods? Seems to vary some from source to source but most seem to say Manhattan.

[BigRedBuster]

I'll bet fat girls would love to hear remarks like those.

 

 

 

 

Really though, making eye contact followed by a simple "hi" is enough. If she's interested she'll respond. If not, just move on. (Perhaps to a fat girl likely to be more receptive. lol)

 

I guess as a married guy with three kids, I shouldn't make eye contact with a woman and say hi. I guess now days that is implying to a woman that you're interested in them.

[knapplc]

From the article:

 

"The social experiment counted more than 100 instances of verbal street harassment..."

 

In ten hours she received "more than 100 instances of verbal street harassment."

 

Let's say "more than 100" is 150 (which is grossly high, it's probably 108-120 or they would have said "more than 110" or "more than 125"). At the generous 150, that's 15 per hour, or one every four minutes. Walking at a normal in-city pace, she passed how many thousands of men per hour? In crowded conditions, maybe several thousand per hour.

 

So we're talking about what fraction of men she encountered that said these things to her? At 1,000 men per hour, that's less than two percent of the men she encounters say such things. It's a negligible percentage at best.

 

The Daily Show did a similar story a week or two ago, had a pretty "reporter" walk around New York and she got the same thing.

 

Guys do harass women. It's not OK.

 

But just like it's not OK to harass women, it's not OK to label Men as harassers. There are men who harass. There are men who don't - and they're the vast, vast majority.

 

What this "experiment" did was label "men" as harassers. It doesn't specify which men, all men are put in the same bucket.

 

It also doesn't provide any direction for men on what TO do. "Here's what 'men' do that's wrong, but we're not going to show you what's right." Why? Because there is no right. Like men, women aren't some single-bucket, "we-all-feel-this-way-about-everything" demographic. They're as diverse as leaves in a forest, and there are women who appreciate varying degrees of notice from men. How would anyone, man or woman, know the level of OK-ness a particular woman has about being asked, “How you doing today?”

 

For real. “How you doing today?” is one of the very few statements ID'd in the article as harassment. You ask a woman you don't know “How you doing today?” and you are harassing her.

 

This is the kind of conclusion this "experiment" is giving us. Mind-boggling.

 

Then there's always this:

 

 

and this:

 

 

I wonder if any woman watching these commercials at home thought to herself, “How you doing today?”

 

I would hope they're above such egregious harassment.

[BigRedBuster]

From the article:

 

"The social experiment counted more than 100 instances of verbal street harassment..."

 

In ten hours she received "more than 100 instances of verbal street harassment."

 

Let's say "more than 100" is 150 (which is grossly high, it's probably 108-120 or they would have said "more than 110" or "more than 125"). At the generous 150, that's 15 per hour, or one every four minutes. Walking at a normal in-city pace, she passed how many thousands of men per hour? In crowded conditions, maybe several thousand per hour.

 

So we're talking about what fraction of men she encountered that said these things to her? At 1,000 men per hour, that's less than two percent of the men she encounters say such things. It's a negligible percentage at best.

 

The Daily Show did a similar story a week or two ago, had a pretty "reporter" walk around New York and she got the same thing.

 

Guys do harass women. It's not OK.

 

But just like it's not OK to harass women, it's not OK to label Men as harassers. There are men who harass. There are men who don't - and they're the vast, vast majority.

 

What this "experiment" did was label "men" as harassers. It doesn't specify which men, all men are put in the same bucket.

 

It also doesn't provide any direction for men on what TO do. "Here's what 'men' do that's wrong, but we're not going to show you what's right." Why? Because there is no right. Like men, women aren't some single-bucket, "we-all-feel-this-way-about-everything" demographic. They're as diverse as leaves in a forest, and there are women who appreciate varying degrees of notice from men. How would anyone, man or woman, know the level of OK-ness a particular woman has about being asked, “How you doing today?”

 

For real. “How you doing today?” is one of the very few statements ID'd in the article as harassment. You ask a woman you don't know “How you doing today?” and you are harassing her.

 

This is the kind of conclusion this "experiment" is giving us. Mind-boggling.

 

Then there's always this:

 

 

and this:

 

 

I wonder if any woman watching these commercials at home thought to herself, “How you doing today?”

 

I would hope they're above such egregious harassment.

Good post.

 

In the article/video, there were obviously men who I believe did things that any normal woman would be uncomfortable about. Like the guy who walked beside her for over 5 minutes. That's just creepy.

 

But, really? Just saying...hi, how you doing?

 

Also, I know it said "Manhattan". I have been to Manhattan. I have been to most cities across the country. I have walked with and around women in these cities including Manhattan. I am struggling to remember many times if any I was walking down the street and a woman was constantly getting cat calls or "harassed".

 

This appears to be someone who wants to make a name for themselves by being an "investigative journalist".

[Minnesota_husker]

I agree with Knapp-- seems to me like they are trying to create a story where there isnt one from what they show us.

 

Yes, harassment of women is a huge issue, but i only saw 3-4 issues where I would say it was a problem.

 

She was walking through sketchy areas. I bet if that same girl walked around Lincoln or Omaha, she wouldnt get any of that.

 

I dont think saying "Hey" is harassment.... walking next to a girl who is ignoring you for 5 minutes is.

 

 

I think treating women with respect if huge, but from what i saw in that video, I dont think it was that bad...

[irafreak]

Remember seeing that group of middle aged women gawking over then under aged Justin Bieber? Remember the comments about how it's not a big deal if women do it but adult men talking about underage girls is atrocious. For what it's worth I think both are disgusting....anyway it will always be a double standard...

 

Just like racism, gender is always something that will cause some people to never be able to look past. It is what it is but I a gave a +1 to knapp for his reference about labeling all men because this happens a lot and it's not just by women. Not all men want to have sex with random women. Some men...even the ones in the video, may really just want to have a girl in their life but were never taught how to properly address a women or how to be a man.

[BigRedBuster]

I'm interested in knowing if any of the men here have ever had a job where they worked with a fairly large group of women where they were the minority.

 

I have had that experience. In college, I worked at a place where there were probably 50-60 employees and all but maybe 8-10 were women. Most of the women were in their 20s - 30s.

 

I honestly came out of there with a very strange attitude towards all of this. I can honestly say that I had experiences in that group that if the genders were reversed, I could have easily had a case for sexual harassment. For instance, one evening the group of women that were working that shift were sitting around finishing their paper work and I walked up. One turned around and flat out asked me..."Hey...do you want to screw?" As a 20 year old college student I must have had a very strange look on my face and all of them thought it was the funniest thing in the world. OK....now, how do you think that would have gone over if I was a woman in the work place with nothing but men?

 

My point is, I believe much of this happens from both directions depending on who is in the majority and who is the minority. Heck, these women would sit around in the evening and talk about having sex with their husbands/boy friends and then laugh if something was said that made me embarrassed.

 

I have a wife and two daughters that will be entering the work force and heading out on their own at some point. Obviously, I want them to be treated with the utmost respect. But, I believe many times this is over blown and made to look like men are absolute pigs and women are innocent victims of American society.