ObamaRocks91
New member
I have compiled a list of what most would consider the top 5 cumguzzling douche versions of EZ-E. I provided descriptions below.
EZ-E in the Woodshed:
Upon being called out, EZ-E appears to be one badass, embolden mother fu&*#r who is ready to verbally spar. Often his words indicate he is ready to get physical. "Let's take the gloves off" is a phrase commonly used. Of course we are all internet tough guys around here, the problem with you, EZ-E, is that we all know you are a 135 pound grass fairy who coaches at a community college in small town Iowa. I could d!(k slap you and you would tumble 5 yards across the "pitch" as you're soccer ball humping a$$ would call it.
EZ-E in the football forum:
EZ-E here, appears to be one of, if not THE, most knowledgeable poster in all the land. He often throws out how our defense is not that hard to learn and it's really just basic concepts. It's funny because you "learned" this defense by spending an hour watching a youtube video and reading another message board that explained some of the defensive fundamentals. But let me tell you buddy, an hour looking at a bunch of arrows and a few video clips doesn't equate to knowing Bo's defense. Constantly throwing different variations of spill-lever-spill when you have no idea what the f#*k you're talking about.
The general attitude EZ-E possesses here is you're not allowed to disagree with him. Even after his erroneous claims are proven false, one is still often attacked without retribution or admission after the fact. One way to get some respect from this football god is to get that post count up as he often will cite it as a source of credibility if it's too low for his liking.
EZ-E in the recruiting forum:
This is where EZ-E makes his hay and is probably respected the most because his connections to what appear to be Ross Els himself. Or as others would call it, general knowledge of those who follow recruiting and/or information on Twitter he passes off as super exclusive. In between his circle jerks with his soccer mates, he studies film and always knows which recruits are under the radar stud, all of which seem to be the generic 3 star commit to Nebraska.
Whenever news breaks, EZ-E always makes sure to point out how he already knew about it and was "just texting a buddy about this" just to make sure everyone knows he knew it before everyone else. And there is always the annual "I know someone no other person knows about thread" in your b!^@h a$$ R. Kelly reference where you point out a DT with 0 offers dominating a bunch of kids a fourth of his size. Yes, EZ-E, you found a kid 0 NCAA head coaches have noticed, good work.
And don't even get me started on that Harrison Phillips or T.V. Williams thread. My god...
EZ-E as the forged "insider":
Over the last few months, EZ-E has slowly been feeding into the falsified reputation as an insider of the program. He knows all in Huskerland and never fails to make sure everyone knows about it, but will always just leave out a small detail he can't quite share because it's only information for the privileged insiders. For instance, we closed practice to everyone because we were hiding super secret plays for UCLA. Well unless those plays were having Taylor drop back, panicking around in the pocket before running straight ahead into Spencer Long's a$$ before getting hammered by a LB and fumbling the football, I don't think those closed practices were for what you claimed. Just shut the f#*k up; you have no idea what you're talking about. Stop relaying what you heard Benning say on the radio and passing it off as insider information, it's not!
And EZ-E, I know your go to move in this situation is to get very defensive and try to make everyone suffer with "fine, you don't like the information I give, then I'm going to just keep my super secret information to myself since you don't like it." Don't try that bullsh#t because just like in the Scott Frost thread, 60% of the posters on this board already know the answer to what you're acting like is "insider" info. The difference is, that those 60% happily and openly share to whoever is asking instead of hinting that you know the answer but can't quite give up the whole story.
EZ-E in the status updates:
First, no one gives a flying f#*k that you have PM's. You don't need to recite it to the world that you were out and couldn't get to ALLLLL of your messages. That is nothing but another attempt to try to raise your legendary status showing to the others you are so f'ing important, that you need to give them a quick update because you have so many requests for your knowledge and expertise that you simply don't have time tonight to get back to everyone. When responding to what went wrong Saturday, just remember, throw out concepts like spill, lever, spill, pattern matching zone, and try not to confuse the lack of penetration by our defense with the double penetration you will be receiving from your goalie and midfielder later tonight.
Who has your vote?
EZ-E in the Woodshed:
Upon being called out, EZ-E appears to be one badass, embolden mother fu&*#r who is ready to verbally spar. Often his words indicate he is ready to get physical. "Let's take the gloves off" is a phrase commonly used. Of course we are all internet tough guys around here, the problem with you, EZ-E, is that we all know you are a 135 pound grass fairy who coaches at a community college in small town Iowa. I could d!(k slap you and you would tumble 5 yards across the "pitch" as you're soccer ball humping a$$ would call it.
EZ-E in the football forum:
EZ-E here, appears to be one of, if not THE, most knowledgeable poster in all the land. He often throws out how our defense is not that hard to learn and it's really just basic concepts. It's funny because you "learned" this defense by spending an hour watching a youtube video and reading another message board that explained some of the defensive fundamentals. But let me tell you buddy, an hour looking at a bunch of arrows and a few video clips doesn't equate to knowing Bo's defense. Constantly throwing different variations of spill-lever-spill when you have no idea what the f#*k you're talking about.
The general attitude EZ-E possesses here is you're not allowed to disagree with him. Even after his erroneous claims are proven false, one is still often attacked without retribution or admission after the fact. One way to get some respect from this football god is to get that post count up as he often will cite it as a source of credibility if it's too low for his liking.
EZ-E in the recruiting forum:
This is where EZ-E makes his hay and is probably respected the most because his connections to what appear to be Ross Els himself. Or as others would call it, general knowledge of those who follow recruiting and/or information on Twitter he passes off as super exclusive. In between his circle jerks with his soccer mates, he studies film and always knows which recruits are under the radar stud, all of which seem to be the generic 3 star commit to Nebraska.
Whenever news breaks, EZ-E always makes sure to point out how he already knew about it and was "just texting a buddy about this" just to make sure everyone knows he knew it before everyone else. And there is always the annual "I know someone no other person knows about thread" in your b!^@h a$$ R. Kelly reference where you point out a DT with 0 offers dominating a bunch of kids a fourth of his size. Yes, EZ-E, you found a kid 0 NCAA head coaches have noticed, good work.
And don't even get me started on that Harrison Phillips or T.V. Williams thread. My god...
EZ-E as the forged "insider":
Over the last few months, EZ-E has slowly been feeding into the falsified reputation as an insider of the program. He knows all in Huskerland and never fails to make sure everyone knows about it, but will always just leave out a small detail he can't quite share because it's only information for the privileged insiders. For instance, we closed practice to everyone because we were hiding super secret plays for UCLA. Well unless those plays were having Taylor drop back, panicking around in the pocket before running straight ahead into Spencer Long's a$$ before getting hammered by a LB and fumbling the football, I don't think those closed practices were for what you claimed. Just shut the f#*k up; you have no idea what you're talking about. Stop relaying what you heard Benning say on the radio and passing it off as insider information, it's not!
And EZ-E, I know your go to move in this situation is to get very defensive and try to make everyone suffer with "fine, you don't like the information I give, then I'm going to just keep my super secret information to myself since you don't like it." Don't try that bullsh#t because just like in the Scott Frost thread, 60% of the posters on this board already know the answer to what you're acting like is "insider" info. The difference is, that those 60% happily and openly share to whoever is asking instead of hinting that you know the answer but can't quite give up the whole story.
EZ-E in the status updates:
First, no one gives a flying f#*k that you have PM's. You don't need to recite it to the world that you were out and couldn't get to ALLLLL of your messages. That is nothing but another attempt to try to raise your legendary status showing to the others you are so f'ing important, that you need to give them a quick update because you have so many requests for your knowledge and expertise that you simply don't have time tonight to get back to everyone. When responding to what went wrong Saturday, just remember, throw out concepts like spill, lever, spill, pattern matching zone, and try not to confuse the lack of penetration by our defense with the double penetration you will be receiving from your goalie and midfielder later tonight.
Who has your vote?
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