Nobel Prize

[slacker]

1. Britney Spears & Eminem:

Who, combined, have written more books than they've read.

 

2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw:

Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues.

 

3. America's Oil Companies:

For a lifetime body of work proving that oil and water don't mix.

 

4. Yasser Arafat & Ariel Sharon:

For those 2 consecutive days last March when no Israelis or Palestinians killed each other.

 

5. Bill Gates:

For creating the X-Box and convincing Americans that their children need a $200 video game system during a recession.

 

6. The Editors of Maxim:

For managing to create 300 magazine pages a month using no other subjects besides beer and models.

 

7. Jared:

Of the Subway Sandwich fame, whose claim of losing hundreds of pounds and achieving optimum health by eating nothing but oversized, greasy heroes was questioned by no one.

 

8. Jennifer Lopez:

Who, in conjunction with DuPont, developed a synthetic fabric capable of containing her ass.

 

9. That 300 Pound Guy:

Who always manages to jam himself into the coach seat right next to yours on coast to coast flights.

 

10. Glaxo:

Who has managed to make "loose stools" a side effect of every one of the drugs it produces.