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Irregular News for 02.06.07 Albany, OR -- A 21-year old mother contacted the Albany Police Department Saturday afternoon to report child abuse allegations against her husband. She told officers that her husband, 23-year old Rian James Whittman, shot her 18-month old son repeatedly with a stun gun causing injury. The investigation revealed that Rian James Whittman used a 100,000 volt stun-gun device multiple times on his 18-month old son over an approximately 3-week period. The child was taken to Samaritan Albany General Hospital where he was examined and treated for injuries from the stun-gun. The child was later taken into protective custody by the Department of Human Services. Albany Police arrested Rian James Whittman later that same night at 10:20 PM. in the 1900 block of SE Hill Street without incident. Albany Capt. Eric Carter says the child received multiple injuries to his arms, stomach, back, and legs. Carter says they don't yet have a motive in the case. source

Irregular News for 02.06.07 Paris, France - Pope Benedict was baptized at birth and will most likely be baptized again one year after his death, not by his Roman Catholic Church but by a Mormon he never met. The Mormons, a U.S.-based denomination officially named the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS), encourage members to baptize the dead by proxy in the belief they are helping the deceased attain full access to heaven. Church members are told to focus on their ancestors, a rite understandable in a relatively new denomination founded in 1830. But so many now perform the rituals for celebrities, heroes and perfect strangers that the practice has spun out of control. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Genghis Khan, Mao Zedong, King Herod, Al Capone and Mickey Mouse have all appeared for a short time in the International Genealogical Index for proxy baptisms, said Helen Radkey, a researcher specialized in the IGI. "It seems that any kind of name at all may be submitted," said Radkey from Salt Lake City, where the Church is based. The IGI also accepts names for rites that "seal" spouses in eternal marriage or parents and children in eternal families. This has outraged Jews and baffled Christians who see it as usurping the memory of their departed relatives. The Church says it cannot stem the tide of dead baptized in its own temples. "The only way we could prevent it would be to undertake independent genealogical research on every name that came in, an utterly impossible task with the many tens of thousands of names that are submitted each year," Church spokeswoman Kim Farah said in an email responding to questions from Reuters. Continued here source

Irregular News for 02.05.07 When Wright County deputies opened up a smelly rented storage locker last June, they had no idea what they would find. Inside a man had stored 50 gallon jugs of urine. "The officers that responded looked at it and said, 'yeah, that's odd,'" said Wright County Narcotics Sgt. Becky Howell. The deputies gave the go-ahead to the owners to throw out the urine. When they did, they got sick. A week and half later, that report hit Howell's desk. "I said, 'Oh my gosh, this is a meth lab, this is a urine extraction lab,'" Howell said. It's a new way to get meth. Some people drink the meth-tainted urine outright to get high. Others filter the drug back out through the cooking process. "I'm not 100 percent sure what this guy was doing," said Howell. "Five years ago, I probably would have been surprised at that. But now, knowing and understanding methamphetamine and an addict's addiction to it, it doesn't surprise me." It did surprise Jeremy Rezac. He's a recovering meth addict who used to cook up to $20,000 worth of the drug a day. Back then, he said it was easy to buy pseudoephedrine or ephedrine in the form of pills. "A couple hundred bucks, send junkies, out to get your pills for you. A couple of hours later you were ready to rock and roll," he said. But all of that changed in the summer of 2005 when lawmakers passed one of the toughest meth laws in the country. It added 10 new BCA agents, dealt out new penalties for child endangerment and placed limits on the amount of pseudoephedrine and ephedrine one person can buy in a month. It also put those pills behind the pharmacy counter and made everyone sign a log. The state said that brought homegrown meth labs down by 70 percent. "You can't find that product no more. You can't find it on the streets no more. The government did what they needed to do," said Rezac. "It takes a lot of time and money and I think the average meth user, meth cook, they don't want the hassle anymore." Howell said there's still a group that does deal with the hassle and has quickly found a way around the law. She's seen addicts travel in packs to different drug stores because they know the pharmacies do not communicate with each other. Of the big retail chains, only Walgreens and Target keep an internal database to track pseudoephedrine pills purchases within their own stores. None of chains share with their competitors. "They know they can still go shopping for pills and go to the various stores and obtain their packages. They can sign the ledger, prove their ID and then they can move to the next store," Howell said. She said her deputies don't have the time or resources to cross-check all of the logs to match the addict with their purchase. State Sen. Julie Rosen, R-Fairmont, wants that loophole to change. "The meth law that was passed in 2005 was tremendous," she said, "but now that drug scene has morphed. It's changing. Meth is morphing and changing. We need to adapt and be quick on our feet also." She's considering legislation that would track pseudoephedrine and prescription drug purchases across different stores. Pharmacies would enter a patient's personal information and their purchase into a central database. Only officers with a search warrant would have access to that information. Rosen would also like more money for treatment programs. "I feel we are sitting back on our heels a little bit," Rosen said. "We are saying OK, we did our job, our job has been done. We passed that great bill and now we're good." Rosen plans on working closely with the state's new meth coordinator. In December Gov. Tim Pawlenty appointed Chuck Noerenberg to this newly-created position. His job is to figure out where the state stands on meth and where Minnesota has to go. "We have the foundation in place but we still have a very serious problem in Minnesota," he said, pointing out that 80 percent of meth in the state is imported from Mexico. His initial priorities will focus on a new child-endangerment protocol and assessing what types of treatment work best. "Meth treatment is longer and more complex than other chemical dependency treatment and that's something we need to have a better understanding before we sink a lot of money into it," Noerenberg said. While the state has made great progress in combating homegrown meth, no one in government, law enforcement or even on the streets expects the drug to go away soon. "We still have a ways to go," said Howell. source

Irregular News for 02.05.07 Columbus, GA -- An elementary school teacher in Fort Gaines has been suspended after putting tape over the mouth of a fourth-grade student who wouldn't quit talking. Dorothy Griffin acknowledged she put tape over the 10-year-old's mouth Wednesday afternoon and said she is remorseful, said Clay County schools Superintendent Grady Miles, who is investigating the incident. The girl's mother, Julia Roberson of Fort Gaines, said her daughter suffers from attention deficit hypertension disorder. Roberson says her daughter seemed upset when she picked her up Wednesday afternoon. "I said, 'What's happened?' She said, 'Mrs. D. put tape over my mouth,' " Roberson said. Roberson said her daughter also told her the teacher told other students to be quiet if they didn't want that to happen to them. Griffin was trying to get students' attention and, while she was taping up a book at a desk beside the girl's desk, she took a strip of tape and put it over the girl's mouth, Miles said. "She reportedly was telling the child to quit talking. She tore the tape off and politely put it around her mouth. She's a nice lady. She just made the wrong decision," he said. Miles declined to say whether Griffin, who has been teaching at the school for about five years, was suspended with or without pay. He said he hopes to handle the incident without taking it to the Clay County School Board. source

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Irregular News for 02.02.07 Indianapolis, IN -- Monarch Beverage Co. told all 630 employees to stay home the day after Super Bowl XLI and enjoy some free beers during their bonus long weekend. The beer-and-wine distributor decided to make Monday a paid holiday and plans to send workers home Thursday and Friday with a six-pack of Blue Moon beer and a Super Bowl T-shirt. Indianapolis-based Monarch runs operation centers in Indianapolis, Evansville and New Albany. Company officials said they decided to make Monday a holiday after they fielded more requests for time off than they could grant. "The Colts' wins have had an extraordinary impact on our business, and we want to return that support," Monarch Beverage CEO Phil Terry said. source

Irregular News for 02.02.07 Japan -- A brewery here has succeeded in producing a low-malt beer with milk, after the drink was suggested as a product that would help use up surplus milk. The drink, called "Bilk" will go on sale on Feb. 1. It reportedly has a fruity flavor that its brewers hope will be popular among women. The idea for the drink was conceived after dairy firms threw out a huge amount of surplus milk in March last year. The son of the manager of a liquor store in Nakashibetsu, whose main industry is dairy farming, suggested the idea of producing the milk beer to local brewery Abashiri Beer. The 31-year-old factory head of the brewery was against the idea, saying that fermentation would be difficult because of the high starch content in milk, but went through a trial and error process to produce the drink anyway. Since milk has a low boiling point, the brewery took care to control the temperature during the boiling process so the milk wouldn't boil over. After they put beer yeast and hops into the drink and began the fermentation process, the beverage looked and smelled like tea with milk. However, when fermentation was complete and the drink cooled down, it had the same color as beer. Since one-third of the drink is milk, the drink has been viewed as a good way to use up milk in the town. The drink got the thumbs-up from 30-year-old resident Kaori Takahashi, who took part in a tasting session. "It's got a fruity taste, so it will probably go well with sweets as well," she said. Each 330 ml bottle costs 380 yen. For the time being sales will be restricted to Nakashibetsu, with six liquor stores selling the drink. source

Irregular News for 02.02.07 Rutland, VT -- A teacher who drew a mustache on a sleeping student will receive $60,000 from the Rutland City Schools in a settlement agreement. At a Jan. 9 meeting, the Rutland City Public Schools Board of Commissioners voted unanimously to sign the settlement agreement. Former Rutland Middle School social studies teacher Christopher Cosgrove is expected to receive money as a resolution to his claims of wrongful termination and denial of rights. The settlement states Cosgrove shall be reinstated to his employment from the date of termination until the end of the fiscal year, June 30, 2006. He and the district agreed that he resigned from that position July 1, 2006, and will not seek re-employment. The district will pay Cosgrove $7,934 as back pay for that time and $52,066 as liquidated damages for surrender of any rights to continued employment. In March 2006, Cosgrove was in his fourth year as a teacher at the middle school when the incident took place. The student, then an eighth-grader, has been diagnosed as having special needs, with Asperger-type symptoms. The student had an issue with sleeping in class that went back to previous school years and was listed in an Individual Evaluation Program, according to a report detailing the arbitration. After several class periods of the student slumbering, Cosgrove grew frustrated. On the day of the incident, class was dismissed and everyone, including the student's one-on-one paraprofessional, had left the classroom, according to the report. Cosgrove drew lines on the upper lip of the student before waking the student, saying that is what happens to students who fall asleep in class, according to the report. The student reported the incident to Principal Will Cunningham, who also heard about it from the school guidance counselor. Cosgrove met with the assistant principal and Cunningham, who told him the incident was inhumane and borderline harassment, according to the report. Cunningham then met with Superintendent Mary Moran about the incident. Five days later, Cosgrove was informed he was suspended with pay for conduct unbecoming a teacher. In an April 2006 meeting the school board heard an appeal and decided to terminate Cosgrove, according to the report. During the 2005 school year, Cosgrove had received a written reprimand on an unrelated matter, according to the report. Arbitrator Ira Lobel concluded that Cosgrove was disciplined for just and sufficient cause but termination was not the appropriate punishment, according to the report. Payments were scheduled to be made to Cosgrove on Jan. 12, barring any revocation, according to the settlement agreement. source

Irregular News for 01.31.07 Consumer Reports -- When Consumer Reports magazine compared coffee from mega-chain Starbucks with java from three fast-food restaurants, the surprising winner was – McDonald’s. The magazine had trained tasters sample a medium cup of black coffee from McDonald’s, Burger King, Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks, and found the best cup of joe under the golden arches. McDonald’s coffee "beat the rest,” according to Consumer Reports. It was "decent and moderately strong. Although it lacked the subtle top notes needed to make it rise and shine, it had no flaws.” As for Starbucks, its coffee "was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open.” source

Irregular News for 01.31.07 China -- A Chinese man had to have his contact lenses surgically removed after he did not take them out for a year. Liu, 40, started to wear contact lenses a year ago and never took them out because he found it difficult. "I only have some eye drops for when they feel uncomfortable," he told Chutian City News. Liu recently felt his eyesight was getting worse, so he bought another pair of lenses and wore them on top of the old ones. But when his eyesight still didn't improve, he took another startling decision. "I put a pair of used disposal contact lenses over the other two pairs in my eyes. By then, I was wearing three pairs of lenses," he said. By the next day, Liu's eyes had reacted badly to his DIY eyecare and he finally sought medical attention. A doctor was shocked to find the first lenses had grown into his eyes and surgery was needed to take them out. source

Irregular News for 01.31.07 Fairfield, CT -- Tony Caratone likes peace and quiet, but to reclaim it in his little corner of the world, he has not tried to silence a barking dog, blaring rock music or boisterous teenagers. Instead, the culprit that so unsettles Caratone is a carillon at St. Emery's Church blanketing the neighborhood with computerized hymns four times a day. Caratone, 60, who has lived on Warren Avenue for 11 years, said the Catholic church's carillon has made his life "horrendous" since it was installed about five years ago. Caratone said he likes to sleep late Sunday mornings, but the carillon from the Kings Highway church awakens him with a jolt. "It would just blast you right out of bed," he said. In particular, the carillon's hymns get under Caratone's skin, ringing out at 9 a.m., noon, 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. every day. Caratone said he doesn't mind hearing the bells chiming the hours, but the additional 10 to 12 minutes of computerized music four times a day really get to him. "You just can't believe how obnoxious it is," he said. The loudspeakers in St. Emery's bell tower are about 75 to 100 yards from Caratone's house, and he said he has to double the volume on his television when the carillon begins playing, even when his windows are closed. Contractors who worked in his house said they would go out of their minds if they had to listen to the carillon every day, Caratone said. The Rev. Louis Pintye, St. Emery's pastor, declined to comment on Caratone's criticism of the carillon, except to say St. Emery's has been on Kings Highway for 75 years and that many churches in Fairfield County have a carillon and no one complains. Pintye added that people "from as far away as two miles" enjoyed St. Emery's carillon. Caratone said the carillon apparently was silenced about two weeks ago, but Pintye wouldn't say why. But Sunday, Caratone said the music returned. The volume "is a little lower than it was, but it's still obnoxious," he said Monday. "I'm going to have to sell my house, because I can't take it anymore." Theresa Conte, who has lived on nearby Halley Avenue for eight years, said she liked the church's bells and hymns, and missed the chimes when they had ceased. "It should bring peace to your mind, not anger," she said. Carol Gladstone, who has lived on Halley Avenue for 50 years, said the music is "very peaceful and beautiful." Caratone said St. Emery's turned down the volume on its carillon after his initial complaints, but a month or two later, the volume returned to its earlier level. St. Emery's wasn't responsive to Cartone's complaints after a while, so he called police and American Civil Liberties Union because he believes the carillon disturbed his peace and the bells violated the separation of church and state. "They're forcing everyone in the neighborhood to listen to religious hymns 365 days every year," Caratone said. "I think it's my right not to hear them." The ACLU turned down his request to represent him in a lawsuit against St. Emery's, but Caratone, who said he is no longer a practicing Catholic, said he may sue the church anyway. Police Capt. Gary MacNamara said the carillon music does not violate any laws, though an officer encouraged the church's pastor to lower the volume by a few decibels after Caratone complained. His crusade against the carillon got no response from state Attorney General Richard Blumenthal and state Sen. John McKinney, R-Fairfield, when he sent them letters asking for a law banning carillons. Joseph McAleer, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Bridgeport, said it isn't unreasonable for a person who lives near a church to hear church music. He added that diocesan officials were unaware that a hubbub has erupted over St. Emery's carillon. Caratone said many of his neighbors have not joined his cause because they leave for work before the music starts and don't return home until just before or after the last hymns play at 6 p.m. Even Caratone's friends have reservations about his campaign. They "joke when I say I'm doing this. They say, 'You're going to go to hell. You're doing something to a church,' " he said. source

Irregular News for 01.31.07 Wilson, WI -- Police say a snowmobile thief was found out Monday when he brought a stolen snowmobile in for repairs to the store it was stolen from several days before. A 17-year-old Town of Wilson boy took a $9,000 snowmobile and a $1,000 snowmobile trailer from Sheboygan Yamaha, N7402 Highway 42, on Thursday night, said Detective David Obremski of the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department. The boy then brought the 2006 Yamaha snowmobile in to the dealership for minor repairs on Friday, before the dealership noticed it had been stolen, Obremski said. The theft was reported on Saturday, and on Monday the dealership called the sheriff’s department after employees realized they had serviced the vehicle on Friday. The boy was arrested about 6 p.m. Monday after a deputy went to the N5700 block of Wind Dancer Court — identified as the boy’s home because the repair was paid for with a check — and found the snowmobile sitting atop the stolen trailer, Obremski said. He said the teen first claimed to have purchased the snowmobile over the Internet, but later admitted to the theft. The boy is expected to be charged today with felony theft, misdemeanor obstructing and officer and felony bail jumping, from a prior conviction for sexual assault. source

Irregular News for 01.03.07 Australia -- A rookie drug dealer has been spared a jail sentence because of his fear of imprisonment. Kym Sidney Tyrone O'Hara last week faced a 25-year prison term for selling $700 worth of ecstasy and methylamphetamine to friends at Port Lincoln in 2003 and 2004. But Judge Barry Beazley said the "hard working and highly motivated" 22-year-old's "fear of imprisonment" and his sporting abilities would lead him to reassess his life. O'Hara was released on a two-year, $1000 good behaviour bond. Judge Beazley ruled O'Hara's fear of prison would be an "effective deterrent" against future crimes. In sentencing, he said the Adelaide man had been arrested as part of a large-scale police investigation into drug dealing on the West Coast. Telephone intercepts recorded O'Hara arranging to sell eight ecstasy tablets for $50 each, and six deals of methylamphetamine for $50 each. "You had been in Port Lincoln for about six months (and) got involved in the local social scene, which involved rave parties," Judge Beazley said. "You formed a friendship with (a drug dealer) and you were able to source such drugs from him. "In consequence, your friends also would ask you to source such drugs and provide it to them." He said O'Hara, a Sacred Heart graduate, had moved to Port Lincoln for work. "You are highly regarded both for your sporting ability and for your work in the construction industry." he said. "You are a hardworking, highly motivated individual who, through perhaps immaturity and the first occasion being away from your family, got involved in a group who used the drugs regularly in rave parties. "I have no doubt the seriousness of the offences to which you have pleaded guilty has shocked you into positively reassessing your life." Judge Beazley suspended O'Hara's two-year, three-month jail term with a 12-month non-parole period. "Your future is in your own hands, you realise that?" he told O'Hara as he left court. source

Irregular News for 01.03.07 United Kingdom -- Social workers are placing obese children on the child protection register alongside victims thought to be at risk of sexual or physical abuse. In extreme cases children have been placed in foster care because their parents have contributed to the health problems of their offspring by failing to respond to medical advice. The intervention of social services in what was previously regarded as a private matter is likely to raise concerns about the emergence of the “fat police”. Some doctors even advocate taking legal action against parents for illtreating their children by feeding them so much that they develop health problems. Dr Russell Viner, a consultant paediatrician at Great Ormond Street and University College London hospitals, said: “In my practice, I can think of about 10 or 15 cases in which child protection action has been taken because of obesity. We now constantly get letters from social workers about child protection due to childhood obesity.” Viner points out that children are not placed on the child protection register simply for being obese but only if parents fail to act on advice and take steps to help their children lose weight. “Obesity in itself is not a child protection concern,” he said. “When parents fail to act in their child’s best interests with regard to their weight — for example, if they are enrolled on a behav-ioural treatment session and only get to two out of 10 sessions or if they miss medical appointments — then the obesity becomes a child protection concern.” Dr Alyson Hall, consultant child psychiatrist at the Emmanuel Miller Centre for Families and Children in east London, said that in some cases children were put into foster care to ensure their safety. “I have known instances where local authorities have had to consider placement outside the family. It has been voluntary so far, and has not gone to care proceedings, but that could happen,” she said. “These are children suffering from sleep apnoea and serious health complications from diabetes. Initially, social workers try to help the parents but, in some cases, the parents are the problem.” Earlier this month two brothers were convicted of causing unnecessary suffering by letting their dog become obese. The labrador, Rusty, was 11 stone, more than double the weight he should have been, and could hardly stand. “We wonder whether the same charge should be applicable to the parents of dangerously obese children,” said Dr Tom Solomon, a neurologist at Royal Liverpool University hospital. “I think it should be considered. It depends on the parents’ attitude. If the parents say there is nothing they can do because their child only likes to eat chips and biscuits then perhaps it might be worth the state intervening. “The state intervenes with schooling. Parents who do not send their children to school are prosecuted eventually. To be badly educated is not dangerous but we are making our children diabetic, and even killing our children by our feeding habits.” Tam Fry, chairman of the Child Growth Foundation, a charity that fights childhood obesity, agreed. “It should be a punishable offence,” he said. “Very obese children are taking up NHS resources that should be used for legitimate purposes. Parents have got to be held accountable for overfeeding their children or letting their children become fat without taking action.” Other health workers, however, argue that parents should not be punished because social circumstances sometimes prevent them from ensuring their children follow a healthy diet. Last week the government’s strategy for tackling childhood obesity was criticised as “confused” and “dithering” by the Commons public accounts committee. MPs warned that ministers are set to miss their target to halt the rise in childhood obesity by 2010. The number of children aged under 11 who are obese leapt from 9.9% in 1995 to 13.4% in 2004. source

Irregular News for 01.03.07 Los Angeles, CA -- A stowaway found dead in the wheel well of a British Airways jet was a South African teen, but investigators were still trying to determine where and how he got into the plane, officials said Monday. The pilot found the body Sunday afternoon in the front wheel well of the 747-400 during a routine inspection at Los Angeles International Airport shortly before it was to return to London. The plane was delayed for about five hours. British Airways Flight 283 had arrived from London Heathrow Airport on Sunday. Before that, it had made trips to Hong Kong, Singapore, Cape Town, South Africa, and Vancouver, said Alan Proud, a spokesman for British Airways. Authorities identified the stowaway as a black male carrying South African papers, according to an official familiar with the investigation who spoke on condition of anonymity because the probe was continuing. The FBI was trying to determine which country he boarded from, said bureau spokesman Ken Smith. On Jan. 12, the body of a young African man was discovered in the wheel well of a Delta plane that landed in Atlanta from Dakar, Senegal. Authorities determined that the man hid in the plane in Senegal and was suffocated by the landing gear. source

Irregular News for 01.03.07 Michigan -- You're tooling down the freeway at 70 m.p.h., keeping an eye out for cops because signs say the speed limit is 65. Relax! You're driving perfectly legally. It's one of the state's best-kept road secrets that the signs are wrong, and no cop is going to stop you. Hundreds -- possibly thousands -- of signs still say 65 on I-94, I-75, I-96 and even I-696, the state's busiest expressway. But despite what they say, the 65 m.p.h. speed limit on freeways is pretty much dead. Last fall, lawmakers expanded the number of freeways where you can drive 70. The exceptions are areas where Michigan State Police and the Michigan Department of Transportation agree a lower speed is necessary for safety reasons -- like around busy cities. But the Legislature didn't provide money for MDOT to upgrade signs. Changing thousands of signs will cost $1.2 million, and in an economy like Michigan's, that's not chump change. So it will be months -- probably late June -- before all freeway signs statewide reflect the law, MDOT said. You don't have to take my word for it. First Lt. Thad Peterson, commander of the Michigan State Police traffic services section in East Lansing, said the Legislature in November made three significant changes in freeway speeds to encourage uniform traffic flow. On freeways where cars can travel 70, lawmakers raised the speed limit for big rigs to 60 m.p.h. from 55. They also raised the minimum speed for all expressways to 55 m.p.h. from 45. Less publicized was the part about 70 m.p.h. becoming the de facto speed limit on all but a handful of stretches of expressways. The exceptions include 55 m.p.h. limits posted on parts of I-75, I-94, I-96 and the Lodge Freeway in Detroit, Peterson said. In November, he notified State Police post commanders across Michigan to make sure their troopers enforce the speed limit at 70 m.p.h., not 65. But drivers like Rod Sibley of Oak Park still have questions. "Now that the speed limit on the section between Southfield and I-94 has been raised to 70 m.p.h., when is the state going to change the signs ... so that you can drive the new limit without worrying about getting a ticket?" Sibley asked me about I-696 in an e-mail. That's where the money issue comes in. State officials couldn't immediately say how many signs have to be changed or how much each signs cost. But MDOT spokesman Bill Shreck said signs on freeways in some outstate areas are already updated, and the new signs will start popping up in metro Detroit by spring. So what's a driver to do in the meantime? Peterson told me Friday he believes most law enforcement agencies are aware of the change, so it's highly unlikely drivers will be ticketed for doing 70 m.p.h. in a zone marked 65. "If they were to be ticketed for that, it not would not be a legally defensible ticket, and the driver would have a valid defense, because the law says the speed limit is 70," Peterson said. "It's just a question of catching the signs up to the law." But in 55 m.p.h. zones, stick with what the signs say! source

Irregular News for 01.29.07 Tulsa, OK -- Taquela Hilton lost 137 pounds in 10 days, but her weight-loss method is not one she would recommend to anybody. Most of the weight was removed through surgery Jan. 10 in the form of a 93-pound ovarian cyst. "This was like having a C-section to deliver a 12-year-old," said Dr. Jennifer Cameron, Hilton's primary-care physician at SouthCrest Medical Plaza. "It was a very dangerous situation." A cyst is an abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid or semisolid substance, according to The American Heritage Science Dictionary. Hilton of Kellyville said she began seeing Cameron three years ago after being dismissed by other doctors as someone who simply could not stop eating. "Dr. Cameron is the only doctor who saw beyond what she looked like," said Toni Carson, Hilton's mother. Hilton, 32, had begun gaining weight around age 15. Three years ago, she had reached 563 pounds. She had trouble breathing and walking. She no longer could drive or work. Her high blood pressure was out of control. And she had dangerous cellulitis in her legs, which were dry, cracked and weeping. "I would just get Tulsa World Sports Extra so beat down about it," she said. "The more I got beat down, the more I stayed home." She wanted gastric bypass surgery, and Cameron told her she needed to lose some weight before the surgery could be safely attempted. Hilton's target weight was 440 pounds. Not knowing that a gigantic cyst was putting pressure on her body and causing her intestines and stomach to flatten up into her chest, Hilton set to work walking and eating more healthfully. "I already eat healthy," she said. "People wouldn't believe me, but my favorite thing to eat is a salad at Mazzio's. I love salads." Through determination and hard work, Hilton brought her weight down to 480 pounds. But that still wasn't enough to have the surgery. "I wasn't able to be active. I was living on inhalers and Advair," Hilton said. Cameron said Hilton's health was becoming critical. Blood clots were found across her abdomen, and she had a terrible allergic reaction to the medication she was given to stop the clotting. "Everything was such a stress for her. I knew she was right on the line of being in danger," the doctor said. "She was so good at following my recommendations, but things just didn't add up. Her belly was hard as a brick." So Cameron scheduled Hilton for exploratory surgery. What she and the surgeon found during that operation was astounding. "It was a small adult she was carrying around in her. It contained 12 gallons of fluid, and we removed it intact," Cameron said. "If she had ever gotten into a car accident and the cyst had burst, she would've died." With all of Hilton's health problems, the surgery was delicate, the doctor said. "We just had all these obstacles, and it was really scary," Cameron said. "We didn't give up. We were a team, and now we are celebrating a miracle." Bigger cysts have been found inside people, but not by much. "I'm just glad to get the thing out of me," Hilton said. Before the surgery, Hilton's girth was 71 inches. She now weighs 359 pounds, has lost 20 inches in the waist and has dropped from a size 6X to a size 2X in clothing. "Now I can see my feet when I lie down. I can see my toes wiggle. And I have a lap. I didn't have a lap before," she said. Cameron said that since the cyst's removal, Hilton's body is getting back to a normal state, and she no longer needs gastric bypass surgery. "She has a 100 percent healthy prognosis. We're expecting a complete transformation. She'll be a healthy, normal person," Cameron said. As for Hilton, she is longing for that normalcy. Her goal is to go to college and get a degree in medical billing and coding. She looks forward to driving again, and, mostly, she is eager to help her family with its horses. "It feels odd. My back has to readjust. I can actually stand up straight, and I'm taller than my mom," she said. "If people look at me and assume I'm just fat because I eat too much, that's OK. I think, 'You didn't see me before.' " source

Irregular News for 01.29.07 Beijing, China -- Police in northern China have detained three men for the deaths of two women whose corpses were to be sold as "ghost brides" to accompany dead men in the afterlife, state media said. Authorities indicated that the killings last year were not isolated cases, the Legal Daily newspaper said on its website, but it did not give any details. Yang Dongyan, 35, a farmer from Shaanxi province, said he had bought a young woman for the equivalent of about C$1,840 and planned to sell her as a bride, according to the paper. But then he met Liu Shenghai, who told him that the woman could command a higher price as a "ghost bride," it said. The tradition, called "minghun" or afterlife marriage, is common in the Loess Plateau region of northern China, where a recently deceased woman is buried with a bachelor to keep him company after his death. Yang killed the woman in a ditch, bagged her body, and sold her for the equivalent of C$2,390 to Li Longsheng, an undertaker, who said he could find a buyer, the paper said. Yang gave Liu a portion of the profits, it added. Yang later went to the city of Yan'an and hired a prostitute he had used before, killed her and sold her for C$1,150 to Li because she was "less pretty," the paper said. The report did not give any details of how the women were killed or how the men were detained. "I did it to earn quick money," the paper quoted Yang as saying. "If I had not been caught this early, I would've done it again." source

Irregular News for 01.29.07 Sarasota, FL -- Oliver DeSofi's normal cell phone bill is about $150 on a family plan, and he used about 183 minutes on his phone in October. But when the 77-year-old retiree opened his Cingular Wireless bill in November, he saw $21,420 in roaming charges for more than 4,500 calls from Nicaragua -- where he's never been -- to numbers he's never called. DeSofi immediately called Cingular and found out another $9,554 in charges from the Central American country were already on his next bill. DeSofi told the company it was fraud. Cingular's fraud department disagreed. The company has spent the past two months trying to collect the $31,000 bill. The former computer systems expert and bank vice president told Cingular that he spends most of his time caring for his bedridden wife, Phyllis, and hasn't been out of the country since 2003. "I told them this is impossible," DeSofi said. "They said, 'These are all calls made from your phone.'" The company canceled his service because he refused to set up a payment plan on the huge bill, even though he insisted on paying his typical fees for the phone, DeSofi said. His wife's voice computer, needed to make telephone calls because of her multiple sclerosis, was set up on one of the lines. "It has an impact on your whole mind-set," said DeSofi, who had it weigh on his mind while trying to sleep. He spent much of his savings after retiring early because of his wife's illness. The phone bills contain calls from Nicaragua at a rate of about 166 calls per day for 35 days, and sometimes four per minute, mostly to New Mexico numbers. Many of the numbers have been disconnected. About 50 calls are to a number listed as 000-000-0000. Cingular ignored a November letter from DeSofi's attorney saying the bill was impossible. This month, Cingular sent a letter to DeSofi saying the fraud department didn't find any fraud in his account. But Cingular looked at the bill after a Herald-Tribune inquiry into the situation Thursday and "gave him the benefit of the doubt" because the roaming charges didn't fit into his previous usage patterns. Cingular spokeswoman Kelly Starling called it an "atypical" situation. "It's the first call I've got about a $31,000 bill," Starling said. "We are researching how it was handled from beginning to end." A company representative called DeSofi to say they were crediting his bill for the full amount, apologized for the inconvenience and left a $120 credit on his account -- in case he wanted to come back to the company. "It's like a big rock has been taken off your chest. I thought about it every day," DeSofi said, adding that he's done with Cingular. "I'll call her on Monday and say I'm not coming back." source

New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one: Poll: Caption Contest LXXXIV Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck! Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests

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