slacker

Irregular News for 05.14.07 Murfreesboro, TN -- Staff members of an elementary school staged a fictitious gun attack on students during a class trip, telling them it was not a drill as the children cried and hid under tables. The mock attack Thursday night was intended as a learning experience and lasted five minutes during the weeklong trip to a state park, said Scales Elementary School Assistant Principal Don Bartch, who led the trip. “We got together and discussed what we would have done in a real situation,” he said. But parents of the sixth-grade students were outraged. “The children were in that room in the dark, begging for their lives, because they thought there was someone with a gun after them,” said Brandy Cole, whose son went on the trip. Some parents said they were upset by the staff’s poor judgment in light of the April 16 shootings at Virginia Tech that left 33 students and professors dead, including the gunman. During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose. They were told to lie on the floor or hide underneath tables and stay quiet. A teacher, disguised in a hooded sweat shirt, even pulled on a locked door. After the lights went out, about 20 kids started to cry, 11-year-old Shay Naylor said. “I was like, ‘Oh My God,’ “ she said. “At first I thought I was going to die. We flipped out.” Principal Catherine Stephens declined to say whether the staff members involved would face disciplinary action, but said the situation “involved poor judgment.” source

Los Angeles, CA -- Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton is appealing to California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her for driving with a suspended licence and quash the 45-day jail sentence she is due to begin next month. On a posting on her MySpace website, Hilton, the star of the reality TV show the simple life, urged fans to sign a petition asking Schwarzenegger to reverse the sentence handed down in Los Angeles Superior Court on Friday. “I urge all fans and supporters and all that are outraged by injustice to sign this petition,” writes Hilton. Legal experts say that Schwarzenegger is unlikely to accede to Hilton’s pardon request. Hilton’s lawyers have said they plan to appeal the sentence. Hilton, 26, was ordered to report to jail on June 5 to begin her sentence. She was stopped by police on January 15, and again on February 27 while her licence was suspended for an earlier bust for drunk driving. Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled she will not be allowed any work release, no furloughs, no use of an alternative jail and no electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. “I’m very sorry and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry and I did not do it on purpose all,” she told the judge before he announced the sentence. source

Irregular News for 07.08.07 Milwaukee, WI -- What would be the best prize ever if you were a child burglar? How about milk, Popsicles, paper, crayons and Play-Doh? That's what police say a pair of boys took during two break-ins at a day care on the city's south side. An 8-year-old and 10-year-old broke into Day Care Services for Children, Inc. on Sunday. That burglary followed one last week that also included a 9-year-old, police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz said Monday. "The kids did confess," she said. "A stepfather was helpful in getting the boys to own up for what they had done." A witness photographed the 8- and 10-year-old boys breaking a window and leaving with two large bags around 4:30 p.m. Sunday, Schwartz said. The boys also set off the day care's alarm, she said. They allegedly grabbed paper, crayons and Play-Doh on Sunday. The stash last week was milk and popsicles. Messages left for Day Care Services for Children were not immediately returned Monday. Police canvassed the neighborhood, eventually ending up at the home of the 8- and 9-year-old boys, Schwartz said. She didn't know their relationship. The children were released to their parents, Schwartz said. The case hadn't been turned over the Milwaukee County Children's Court on Monday. She didn't know if it would. Donald S. Jackson, assistant district attorney for Milwaukee County Children's Court, said children under age 10 cannot be charged as delinquents and sent to a state Department of Corrections facility. They can be charged as juveniles in need of protection and referred for services, including counseling or sent to a residential treatment center or a group home. The site is one of six the day care has in the city, according to its Web site. The location offers infant and toddler care, preschool day care, a head start program for children 3 to 5 years old and a day care summer program for children 6 to 12 years old, the Web site said. source

Irregular News for 07.08.07 Greece -- A 52 year old Greek mother has given birth to her two grandsons, after getting legal permission to be a surrogate mother for her daughter and son-in-law. The woman, who was implanted with embryos from her daughter's fertilised eggs by her son-in-law, gave birth to twin boys in good health and weighing 2.5 kilos, gynaecologist Dr Charalambos Batakis, told journalists. In July last year a Greek court gave permission for the woman to carry out a surrogate birth because her daughter was unable to carry a pregnancy to term due to health problems. Greek law allows for surrogate mothers as long as the parties concerned reach an agreement with no financial compensation. In principle, the surrogate mother should not be more than 50 years old, but in this case, the court agreed to an exception. source

Irregular News for 07.08.07 Austin, TX -- A 22-year-old man allegedly put dog waste in an envelope with his payment for overtime parking and placed it last week in a drop box for Austin police. An Austin Police Department staff member noticed a foul smell when getting the man's envelope out of the box April 25 at the Law Enforcement Center, Police Chief Paul Philipp said. Upon opening it in her office, the woman noticed a brown fluid on the envelope and her hands, the chief said. Police interviewed the Austin man, who was cited April 18, and he allegedly admitted to putting fecal matter from a dog into the envelope. The man said he regretted doing it, but had been angry that he had to pay the ticket. "It was just a stupid thing to do," Philipp said. People have used pennies to pay for tickets, Philipp said, and he's sure some have spit in a payment envelope, but "this is a take-the-cake kind of a guy." The staff member who opened the envelope became ill the following day and spent several days in a hospital, Philipp said, but officials don't know if her sickness was a result of her handling the envelope. The matter has been forwarded to the Mower County attorney's office for a possible criminal charge. source

Irregular News for 05.07.07 Ottawa, Canada -- Glebe children and their parents are furious a playful neighbourhood game of hopscotch that eventually grew to cover four city blocks was power-blasted from existence by a city of Ottawa anti-graffiti squad. While the elaborate street game, chalked out by a dozen children on Third Avenue, was viewed by some neighbours as innocent fun, one resident apparently called to complain about "graffiti" on the road. A maintenance truck was called in Thursday and spent an hour washing away the youngsters' efforts -- a move city officials admitted yesterday may have been a bit too hasty. Willem Grant, 10, and his sister, Alise, 8, used chalk to draw the hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of their Glebe home. Others joined in, making a giant game that was later erased by the city. Willem Grant, 10, and his sister, Alise, 8, used chalk to draw the hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of their Glebe home. Others joined in, making a giant game that was later erased by the city. Willem Grant and his sister, Alise, said they started drawing a hopscotch in front of their home earlier that afternoon. The exercise soon snowballed, with several other neighbourhood children joining in to help create the massive game. In the end, it had 2,020 chalk squares. "I just don't understand why they (the city) did this," said Willem, 10. "This was just a fun project for us and it would be cool to do this every year. We were going to film it and have a memory for everyone." Alise, 8, said the city's actions were "brutal," adding she was disappointed they washed away what she and her friends had fun in creating with their chalk. The children's mother, Marjolein Groenevelt, said she was "puzzled" by the city's motives and questioned why they rushed out to clean up the markings based on a single complaint. She thought the exercise was a good chance for her children and others to play outside and work on something that was creative and fun. "It really was quite a special effort. It was actually a story on its own as a project before it was washed away," said Ms. Groenevelt. She said there was nothing in the hopscotch that could be considered graffiti or offensive. She applauded the city's plans to rid businesses and buildings of offensive graffiti, but said the work by her children and others was not in the same category. Dan O'Keefe, the city's manager of road maintenance, appeared to agree yesterday. "Graffiti is a big problem in the city and, unfortunately, this got dragged into the same mix as the major problem of graffiti," he explained. He said more thought should been put into the matter before sending a city crew to clean up the game, since a heavy rain would have eventually washed off the sidewalk markings. He added any future complaints about removing chalk on city sidewalks will be reviewed by the department before a work crew is dispatched to clean them up. Under the city's tough new anti-graffiti program, city crews and contractors will go out looking for offending work on city property and remove it, Ottawa bylaw chief Susan Jones said this week. The city will spend about $1.9 million on the program this year and city council will deal with the issue next week. A woman who lives on Third Avenue said she saw a city work crew washing the hopscotch markings with a power hose, but they purposely left the rest of the street and sidewalks untouched. "They were there to clean the hopscotch only," said Cindy Moxness yesterday. "They were cleaning the sidewalk where the hopscotch was, then they crossed the street and cleaned my side where there was only hopscotch markings here and there." Glebe resident John Leaning could not understand why the city would go to such expense and get a work crew to remove a favourite childhood schoolyard game. "It's extraordinary that this hopscotch game that I used to play as a kid, and my kids played it and my kid's kids played it, all of a sudden, taxpayers money is used to remove something that is totally innocent," said Mr. Leaning. source

Irregular News for 05.07.07 New Zealand -- A food worker who poured two cups of Diet Coke at work without paying for them has lost her job and is facing criminal charges. Dunedin worker Jackie Lang was fired from her fulltime job at fast-food franchise Subway after she shared a drink with a friend while consoling her during a break. About two weeks after she was fired, police charged her with the theft of two cups of Coke valued at $4. She will appear in Dunedin District Court this month. Autonomous Workers Union organiser Bill Clark says the dismissal is one of the worst he has seen. He says the Subway handbook allows free soda and water while working. Losing her job and facing criminal charges has upset Lang, who is taking a personal grievance action against Subway. Through an intermediary, she said the company's actions were a shock, embarrassing and had caused her financial hardship. She felt she should have been given a warning rather than been fired and that the response was out of proportion to her actions. "I shared my drink with my friend. I was only trying to comfort her. Isn't it what most people would do? I mean, I wasn't trying to do anything wrong. I did what I thought any person would do in the situation." Security video footage of the incident shows Lang sharing the drink with her friend, then refilling the cup and leaving it on the table when she returned to work. "Most people wouldn't be fired and put in a police cell for two hours for sharing a drink." Clark said Subway called Lang to a meeting on March 19 without telling her it was a disciplinary matter. She was then told her action had been referred to police. Lang was charged with theft 20 days later. Clark is surprised managers at the George St Subway did not deal with the incident internally as Lang had a clean employment history and no criminal record. "It's a human thing to do to offer a drink as comfort. If Subway doesn't like it, they have internal procedures to deal with that." Clark says Lang, who has Asperger's syndrome - a form of autism - has been hit hard by the stress of losing her job and facing charges, including having to explain the situation to her new boss. "She just wants it to go away," he said. Protests were held outside the George St Subway yesterday, drawing attention to Lang's case. Public support for Lang has been strong and local business have made donations to cover potential legal bills. The owners of the George St Subway were unavailable for comment last week. No one could be contacted at Subway's South Island office. The person who could comment from the North Island office was unavailable. In a letter addressed to Lang, the directors said she had given the drink to a friend without payment and that was considered "serious misconduct" and a breach of their "trust and fidelity". National Distribution Union solicitor David Fleming said he had heard of cases where people were dismissed for similar things, but getting the police involved was unusual. "It would be the exception rather than the norm." source

And someone else didn't pass their Common Knowledge Class, -> remember this is Canada we're talking about here...

Irregular News for 05.04.07 South Africa -- A South African man was stripped and superglued to his exercise bicycle and his mouth glued shut for hours by armed robbers who ransacked his home and helped themselves to his finest Scotch whisky. The man was hijacked at gunpoint in a wealthy suburb of Johannesburg and forced to lead the thieves to his home in another area, a spokesman for the emergency services told the SAPA news agency. He was forced to strip before being superglued to the seat of his exercise bicycle. His hands and feet were also glued and his mouth sealed shut, the spokesman said. The robbers wore suits and reportedly helped themselves to the victim's Chivas Regal Scotch whisky while cleaning out his home. Help arrived only three hours later, when the man's partner arrived home. Emergency services workers used chemicals mixed with Vaseline to release him. source

Irregular News for 05.04.07 Ottawa, Canada -- Bigfoot, the legendary hairy man-like beast said to roam the wildernesses of North America, is not shy, merely so rare it risks extinction and should be protected as an endangered species. So says Canadian MP Mike Lake who has called for Bigfoot to be protected under Canada's species at risk act, alongside Whooping Cranes, Blue Whales, and Red Mulberry trees. "The debate over their (Bigfoot's) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing," reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week. "Therefore, the petitioners request the House of Commons to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to affect immediate protection of Bigfoot," says the petition signed by almost 500 of Lake's constituents in Edmonton, Alberta. A similar appeal has been made to the US Congress. Down through history, there have been numerous, if unsubstantiated sightings of Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch in North American folklore. The beast is said to inhabit remote forests, mainly in the US Pacific northwest and western Canada, and many believe it could be related to the equally mythical Yeti said to have found its home in Tibet and Nepal. While sometimes described as large, hairy bipedal hominoids, Bigfoot are considered by most experts to be a combination of folklore and hoaxes. But the legend remains strong, and Bigfoot researcher Todd Standing, who was behind the petition, claims to have proof of its existence, and says he fears for its safety. "When I get species protection for them nationwide, I will make my findings public and I will take this out of the realm of mythology. Bigfoot is real," Standing told Global National television news. He said he has 12 seconds of video footage of Bigfoot roaming Canada's western Rocky Mountains included in a 30-minute documentary, but his detractors say it was staged with actors. His supporters hail from Canada's westernmost provinces, but Bigfoot sightings have been reported across the country, which is 90 percent uninhabited. There are currently 516 plant and animal species at risk in Canada, according to Environment Canada. Another 13 species are already extinct. source

Irregular News for 05.04.07 Orange County, FL -- A traffic sign appeared and then disappeared, but not before dozens of people are pulled over. No one knows who put it up or who took it down. The "no left turn" sign was posted at a busy intersection at Waterford Lakes Town Center, but it was gone Thursday. Those who were pulled over want to know, was it put there legally? The mysterious sign was placed at one of the exits to the shopping plaza off Alafaya Trail and no one will admit to bolting it below a stop sign and a local man is ready to take it to court. A snapshot was taken by the Orange County Sheriff's Office showing the no left turn sign. But, just as quickly as it was put up, it was taken down. "I think that's reprehensible," said ticketed driver Joel Rosen. Rosen has 115 reasons to be upset. He was one of a dozen people to get a ticket. More than 50others were also stopped. "What I would like to find out is, who put the sign up and who took it down?" Rosen said. No one knows. The Orange County Sheriff's Office said it's not responsible and the Orange County Traffic Division said it wasn't them. "That sign was installed at an exit to a shopping center. That means it was a private sign," said Ruby Rozier, Orange County Traffic Division. The company that owns the property was bombarded with complaints and put out a letter saying, "We did not give anyone approval to install a 'no left turn' sign." That lack of responsibility has Rosen saying all the tickets should be thrown out. "If we could figure out who put the sign up and there was a valid reason for the sign to be there, absolutely pay the fine and be done with it," he said. More infuriating, car after car can now go left with no penalty. "We are just not in a position to do any enforcement activity on it now," said Capt. Mark Strobridge, Orange County Sheriff's Office. The Orange County Sheriff's Office stands behind the tickets, taking each case to court. Eyewitness News also contacted the Florida Department of Transportation. Officials said workers from their department did not put up or take down the sign. source

Irregular News for 05.03.07 Twin Falls, ID -- Canoeist Dennis Bohrn and his companions were stunned when they saw a woman jump off the Perrine Bridge, her body landing near them in the Snake River. Many in the group were crying by the time they managed to reach the woman and paddle her body to shore. So Bohrn was shocked when an officer walked up and instead of thanking or comforting the group last Sunday, wrote out a couple of $85 tickets for failing to have life jackets on board either of the two canoes. "The body was right there," said the 58-year-old Twin Falls resident. "A girl deputy was trying to console everybody. Then a sergeant walked up. He said, 'I see you don't have any life jackets so I am going to give you a citation.' It seemed a little cold." Twin Falls County Sheriff Wayne Tousley said he stands by the deputy's decision, although he added, "Could it have been done at another time? He had a discretion." Bohrn said he and his friends are still traumatized from witnessing the death. He plans to contest the citations in court. "Maybe you get kind of cold in that job," Bohrn said. "I think there is a time and a place. They should use common sense. Maybe his superiors could tell him, 'Next time, wait until they get to the dock and the girls aren't crying.'" source

Irregular News for 05.03.07 Anamosa, IA -- A 135-year-old penitentiary changed some of its locks after keys to the maximum-security prison were apparently sold on eBay. The keys belonged to a locksmith who retired from Anamosa State Penitentiary in 1974. He died two years later and when his wife died last year, an auctioneer was hired to sell off the estate, which included the keys. Someone bought the keys and put them on eBay. Most appear to be antiques. Jerry Burt, the prison's warden, said prison staff members told him about the keys after they attended the auction, not knowing the keys were there. "I checked eBay and they were listed," Burt said. "We didn't know anything about the auction beforehand." Burt said some locks at the eastern Iowa prison have been changed since 1974 while others haven't, prompting the recent change. "We did it as a precaution," Burt said. source

Irregular News for 05.02.07 Hutchinson, KS -- Toilet paper is becoming a sought after commodity at the Hutchinson Correctional Facility after officials began limiting inmates to one roll at a time to trim costs. Officials say the prison has long had a limit, but they learned recently that it hadn't been enforced. Increased enforcement began this month. Under the prison policy, inmates are restricted to four rolls of toilet paper each month or on an "as-needed" basis. Steve Schneider, public information officer for the prison, said officials also restated restrictions on other personal items, including soap and toothpaste, as a result of stockpiling and overuse. The increased enforcement has angered many of the more than 1,600 inmates housed at the facility. "Some take this for granted," inmate Carl Kennedy said in a letter to The Hutchinson News. "But in here it's part of a safeguard for widespread infections. We use it to blow our noses, clean sinks, toilets and tables." Prison officials said the policy could save the prison nearly $600 each month if each inmate uses one less roll each month. "There are a lot of things that individually don't cost much," said Kansas Department of Corrections spokeswoman Frances Breyne. "But when you multiply that by hundreds, it makes a drastic impact." Schneider insists inmates won't go without toilet paper. Charmin four-packs can be purchased at the prison canteen for $2.70, and anyone who produces an empty roll will receive a new roll of toilet paper. One side effect of the policy could be that toilet paper will become a new form of currency among inmates. "Anything you restrict becomes a thing of value," Schneider added. "It automatically becomes a means of dealing and trading." source

Irregular News for 05.02.07 The Cyberweb -- Despite the proliferation of email management gizmos such as the BlackBerry, some users are finding their growing inboxes so insurmountable they have been forced to declare bankruptcy. "I am so far behind on email that I am declaring bankruptcy," New York-based venture capitalist Fred Wilson wrote in his blog last week. "If you've sent me an email (and you aren't my wife, partner, or colleague), you might want to send it again. I am starting over." Jeff Nolan, CEO of technology startup Teqlo, followed suit the next day. "From here on out I am going back to voice communication as my primary mechanism for interacting with people," he said. The term "email bankruptcy" was coined by Stanford Law School professor Lawrence Lessig in 2004, when he was inundated with an average of 200 non-spam emails a day and had spent 80 hours in a week sorting through unanswered email. Lessig is a vocal anti-spam crusader, but ironically his email problems were caused by personal messages. "Dear person who sent me a yet-unanswered e-mail, I apologize, but I am declaring e-mail bankruptcy", Lessig informed his contacts via email, parts of which were published by Wired magazine. He apologised profusely and said that, by not responding, he lacked "cyber decency". But some say declaring email bankruptcy is an extreme measure that should be taken only as a last resort. The website Web Worker Daily advised its readers to use an email auto-responder that replies to each message with: "Due to a technical issue, there is a possibility I may never see your email. If it is important, please call me at xxx xxx-xxxx. Sorry for any inconvenience." This is also a method advocated by Timothy Ferris, author of the mobile lifestyle manifesto, The 4-Hour Workweek. Others say it is just a matter of being more organised and learning to use the technology more effectively. The Australian firm Adapt Training Solutions provides one-on-one coaching sessions for time-poor executives, training them to apply time management principles to their digital lives. "While many people use Outlook or Lotus Notes, most only know how to use 10% of what it can do," the company's website says. Pricing varies, but $2500 nets you several 90-minute coaching sessions, spread out over three to four months. One-day workshops are also offered and one of the results the company promises is "an empty inbox every day". Harvey Norman chief operating officer John Slack-Smith told The Sydney Morning Herald this month that, by using Adapt's methods, he had regained one hour a day. source

Irregular News for 05.01.07 Cooper City, FL -- Confession websites have become popular places to post your sins -- or to read about the transgressions of others. A woman kept her secret for nearly two decades. Finally ready to confess, she turned not to a minister, but to her computer. ''I am sorry God for not keeping that baby,'' her anonymous confession reads. ``I had an abortion and had kept that secret for over 18 years. I feel so ashamed. Please forgive me!'' The confession appears at ivescrewedup.com, a website launched by the Flamingo Road Church in Cooper City. It's one of a growing number of such sites across the country -- some secular and others church-sponsored -- that offer a place to spill out ugly secrets or just make peccadilloes public. ''I think it helps people understand . . . that we're not here to point out people's screw-ups, that we're here to help them,'' said lead Pastor Troy Gramling, whose nondenominational church launched the site on Easter weekend. ``The church is made of skin and flesh and people that have made mistakes.'' The 6,500-member church created the site as part of a 10-week series on the ways people mess up -- in marriage, parenting, finances and more. The goal of the series is to help congregants learn from their mistakes. So far, more people are reading the confessions than posting them. The site gets about 1,000 hits a day, with about 200 online admissions. Lust, pornography and a litany of sexual transgressions top the sinners' hit parade. Theft, lying and alcohol abuse also make frequent appearances. One person confesses: ''I have done enough drugs to make Keith Richards envious!!!!!'' Another admits wishing death on her enemies. The posts are poignant and heartbreaking and occasionally frightening, like the accounts of teenagers ravaged by eating disorders and others who have contemplated suicide. A 23-year-old man who posted on the site told a reporter in a telephone interview that he was struck by how many people wanted to spill their ``dirty little secret.'' ''I think there's a feeling that you're not the only one that's out there that has messed up before and there's other people,'' said the man, who declined to reveal anything about himself or his confession. The Miami Herald contacted the church, seeking confessors, but found none willing to be identified in print. The 23-year-old who gave the interview said he is a Protestant who doesn't belong to the church but was turned on to the website by a friend who is a member. ''It was very cathartic,'' he said. The anonymity of the site is key to its appeal. He said he hadn't turned to anyone in his church about the confession he posted and wasn't sure whether he would feel comfortable. ''When you don't know someone, you can't trust them; it takes time,'' he said. Online confessionals are a natural outgrowth of Internet chat rooms ''where people have this habit of telling secrets to strangers,'' as well as blogs and MySpace pages, said Janet Sternberg, associate chairwoman of the Department of Communication and Media Studies at Fordham University in New York. ''Online was made for this stuff,'' Sternberg said. ``It's the perfect environment for people telling secrets anonymously.'' LifeChurch.tv, an evangelical church that broadcasts services to 11 locations, including one in Palm Beach County, started the site mysecret.tv nearly a year ago. More than 6,000 people have posted confessions and millions more have logged on to read the stories, said Bobby Gruenewald, pastor and innovation leader at LifeChurch.tv. The church has received some criticism, Gruenewald said, from people who think that ``we're trying to encourage people to confess to a computer instead of God. We just believe it is a catalyst to have people open up to family and friends and God. I think sometimes it can be misunderstood.'' A recent redesign gave readers the option to post prayers or responses to the confessions. The Catholic Church is among those who reject the idea of confessing online. Confession is ''the opportunity to confess sins to someone ordained as a priest who is a representative of Christ,'' said Mary Ross Agosta, a spokeswoman for the Miami Archdiocese of the Roman Catholic Church. The websites, with their voyeuristic appeal, may fulfill people's need to feel better about their own behavior or moral values. 'What makes it so popular is not so much the people confessing but people going to read all these things, saying, `My life's not so bad,' '' said Greg Fox, who runs the site dailyconfession.com. ``It's kind of the car wreck you're driving by. You can't help but watch. It's kind of the car wreck of life.'' Fox started the site in 2000 while he was working as a writer, producer and director for The Walt Disney Co. The launch was ''my therapy,'' he said. ''Everything was pixie dust and fun and nice and nothing bad ever happens,'' he said. The site, which averages about 1.3 million hits a day, was ''my way of getting back in touch with reality,'' he said. People have written on the site about contemplating suicide and abusive relationships, and Fox said he has tried to give those people the resources to get help. Others have threatened the president, prompting Fox to call the U.S. Secret Service. He reviews all of the posts before they make it to cyberspace and has a backlog of about 4,000 confessions. Fox said the confessions are completely anonymous and that he has no way of tracing them. 'What I hear is it's a lot easier to tell the `truth' in complete anonymity. You can get feedback and find out you're not so weird. You're not the only one who feels that way or has this phobia.'' source

Irregular News for 05.01.07 Troy, MI -- It would have gone better for Donald Bryant had he known the confidential informant who got him convicted of cocaine possession. Bryant, 39, was charged in November with second-degree conspiracy and criminal solicitation, both felonies, for trying to set up the murder of the man he thought helped police convict him. But a man in the county jail with Bryant, who told him he'd help him with the murder, was not only working with the police -- he was the original informant Bryant was after. Jury selection in the case was to begin this morning when Bryant opted to plead guilty to a count of second-degree conspiracy. He will be sentenced May 30 to 8 to 16 years in prison which will run consecutively to the six years he is already serving on the cocaine conviction. "He (confidential informant) told me he would take out the informant," Bryant told Judge Patrick McGrath during his plea. "I agreed with him and to give him the money for a gun." Bryant arranged through his wife, Rebecca Dulaney, to get $600 to pay the informant for the gun. Dulaney pleaded guilty April 12 to second-degree conspiracy and will be sentenced to 3 to 9 years in prison June 28. Bryant was arrested March 9, 2006, and charged with felony cocaine and weapons possession. Police said more than 16 ounces of cocaine and a loaded .357-caliber Magnum were found in his home. Bryant posted bail, but was arrested again in June and again charged with cocaine possession. On Nov. 1, Bryant was sentenced to six years in prison in satisfaction of his plea on those drug and weapons counts. The conspiracy was plotted while Bryant was in jail between Aug. 26 and Nov. 6, 2006. source

Irregular News for 04.30.07 Tallahassee, FL -- Golf carts, computers, kitchen equipment - the university can't account for 987 items. If anybody finds an E-Z-GO golf cart that seems out of place, call Florida A&M University. It's missing one. Same goes for five lawn mowers, two industrial-sized popcorn poppers and a salad bar. Oh, and a marquee sign that cost $24, 000. State auditors are knocking FAMU for a long list of accounting and bookkeeping blunders that involve millions of dollars in state money and could be serious enough to threaten its accreditation. But nothing illuminates the problem in concrete detail like the university's apparent failure to track its own property. FAMU officials tried to downplay the problem this month, telling auditors the vast majority of the 987 missing items were old and worthless. But that response did not satisfy Florida Auditor General Bill Monroe. "The fact that property items are fully or partially depreciated does not mean that such items are not subject to potential theft or misuse, " he wrote in a final FAMU audit issued this week. And it "does not relieve the university of its responsibility to exercise due care in safeguarding such property." Missing property "is the tip of the iceberg, " said Barney Bishop, a former FAMU trustee who heads Associated Industries of Florida, the state's premier business lobby. FAMU "does not have the accountability protections built into the system that every other university in Florida is required to have." The missing-property list was submitted to the state this month, one small part of FAMU's response to a scathing preliminary audit that angered lawmakers and brought renewed attention to the university's financial woes. FAMU has yet to respond to an April 11 records request from the St. Petersburg Times for that material, and as of Friday afternoon, the auditor general's office had not posted the material on its Web site. But a copy of the list obtained by the Times shows more than a few surprises. The vast majority of missing items - which had a total value of $2.7-million when they were purchased - are computers and related office equipment. But the list also includes furniture including a 27-inch color TV and a three-seater lounge chair, scientific instruments (including a spectrometer, an oscilloscope and a beam system generator, a slew of cleaning and maintenance machines (including a floor buffer and a wood dust collector); and a eyebrow-raising bevy of commercial kitchen equipment (including an ice machine, a sneeze guard and a Hobart cutter/mixer that cost $8, 800). "It is unacceptable, " said FAMU trustee R.B. Holmes. "But we're going to move forward and fix it." Missing equipment is hardly unique to FAMU. On its most recent list, the University of Florida - which has four times as many students as FAMU - reports 310 missing items, including a $6, 000 riding lawn mower and two canoes. Florida State University lists 185 items, including an $18, 000 sculpture. But only a handful of the state's 11 universities and 28 community colleges have been written up in recent years for failing to follow proper procedures regarding missing equipment. And only one - the University of North Florida in Jacksonville - appears to have had a problem that rivals FAMU's in magnitude. (In 2004, UNF reported 1, 700 missing items with an original value of $4.2-million.) The most recent FAMU list does not say when the items in question were reported missing. It also does not detail what the items looked like, what condition they were in and who was responsible for their oversight. FAMU officials did not respond to questions e-mailed Thursday afternoon. The list appears to have grown. In September 2003, FAMU listed 371 missing items, according to its most recent previous operational audit. The current list was compiled in September 2006. FAMU says the items have a total current value of $208, 000, and says 701 of them are worthless. It has recommended that 855 of them be written off. "Such items as dot-matrix printers, floppy-disk computers, desks and fixtures, " the university said in an April 12 press release, "represented fully depreciated inventory that was purchased in the '80s and '90s." It's clear many of the items are worthless now. But it's not clear whether they were when they disappeared. Some may still have street value. Most of the 21 musical instruments listed (including 10 sousaphones) are more than five years old. Assuming students used them, "they're pretty much done for, " said Kent Allman, who owns Allman Music, an Internet sales company based in St. Petersburg. The net value FAMU assigned to those instruments seems to be on the mark, he said. Then again, a pawnshop might be willing to fork over $200 for a French horn in good condition, Allman said. The university has two listed with a current value of $93 each. The E-Z-GO golf cart - one of four golf carts FAMU listed as missing - is seven years old and cost $4, 200. But it's worth $500 to $800 if it's still running and $1, 200 if it's in decent shape, said Alexis Anderson, co-owner of West Coast Golf Cars in Sun City Center. Right now West Coast has a 1999 E-Z-GO, in excellent condition, on sale for $2, 000. State auditors say there is no way to tell what happened to the missing items at FAMU. Some may be lost. Some may have been stolen. Some may have been thrown away. Some FAMU supporters say there are more items on the current list because the current administration, led by interim president Castell Bryant, has put new oversight controls into place and reportedly been a stickler for following existing controls. But state auditors still cite plenty of flaws. Among other issues, they criticized the university for failing to report missing items to law enforcement. FAMU officials said 171 items had been reported, but when auditors randomly picked 20 and asked for proof, they got nothing on 18 of them. Auditors also found many examples of items that they said should have been referred to law enforcement but were not. Earlier this month, FAMU officials agreed to a new policy requiring that all missing property be reported to university police. source

Irregular News for 04.30.07 Tokyo, Japan -- Wondering if your dog or cat is stressed? Just stick a special patch on the bottom of its paw and you'll be able to tell, according to a Japanese company. The patch, developed by Japanese company Medical Life Care Giken, purports to measure the stress level of dogs and cats by detecting excessive sweat secretion — believed to be a sign of stress — the Nikkei Weekly reported Sunday. The round, pin-sized patch is applied to the center pad of the animal's paw and changes color depending on how sweaty the pet is, the Nikkei said. The company, which makes a similar patch for humans, says it worked with researchers at Toyama University to study the sweat patterns of dogs and cats, which secrete sweat from their paws, the Nikkei said. The company expects strong sales amid a pet boom in Japan, the Nikkei said. The patches are expected to go on sale in Japan later this year, with the price still undecided, it said. It did not mention plans for overseas sales. Doting Japanese pet owners are known to go to great lengths for their pets' well-being, taking cats and dogs to specialist masseurs and even acupuncturists. source

Irregular News for 04.30.07 La Vista, NE -- A La Vista man was charged with felony theft after he spent $80,000 his bank deposited by mistake in his account. George J. Costa, 45, is charged with theft of lost or mislaid property. It is a crime to take money that's been "delivered under a mistake." More than $106,000 was deposited into Costa's account between August 2006 and February after a Pinnacle Bank employee mixed up account numbers, according to the Nebraska State Patrol. The bank was able to recover $26,000 from Costa's account after the mistake was recovered. "'Finder's keepers' and 'possession is nine-tenths of the law' aren't legal principles," said Sarpy County Attorney Lee Polikov. Costa's lawyer, James Martin Davis, said Costa is willing to work out repayment in civil court but shouldn't be charged criminally. "If somebody sticks money in your pocket and you spend it, you can't be convicted of theft," he said. source

New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one: Poll: Caption Contest XCVI Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck! Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests

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