slacker

Was he trying to surrender? Maybe stuck out his hand with a surrender flag from inside a tank or foxhole and was shot in the arm? NO but you're on the right track.

New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one: Poll: Caption Contest XCIV Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck! Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests

Adding poll.

Congrats to the Weekly Contest Winners!!! Weekly Winners for 04.15.07 NU fan in Denver: 1pt Caption Contest Washusker: 1pt Riddle Contest

WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATULATIONS NU fan in Denver!

Sorry bout that, cmb had more votes when I closed it... better luck next time

Hint: He was shot in one of his limbs.

I thought that this puzzle was dead. Since it's been resurrected, I'm play. Did someone else....like a CO....knowingly place or influence the coward to be in danger? an ultimatum....do this or this will happen? NO Were the battle conditions (terrain, environment) important? NO Does it matter what nationality the soldier was? NO What battle was fought? NO And when? NO If the soldier did not run away, then did he "volunteer" or was ordered to do an assignment that he felt was less risky? NO Did he seek safety in an area that wasn't safe? NO Like a tunnel that was already occupied by the enemy? NO Or was he out in the open? NO Was he shot by an enemy SOLDIER? YES Or someone else with a firearm? NO Was he a victim of a booby trap? NO Or a strategic trap in which the enemy lured the coward from the greater danger to the lesser danger? NO Do you get a sick pleasure knowing that we don't know the answer to this riddle and you do? YES

They wounded him with words. They called him a 'stupid weenie' and he cried. NO

In his attempt to flee from the battle, he runs into the enemy force that is flanking them. NO

The soldier was wounded by the enemy. YES The soldier was wounded by his own men. NO

Irregular News for 04.12.07 Europe -- A Czech firm has developed a "smart" beer vending machines that can check the buyer's age from his or her identification card or passport, local media reported on Friday. The Czech Future Art firm said the machines will be installed in places where it is forbidden to sell alcoholic beverages to people under 18-years-of-age, The system is based on the technology that Czech police use to identify people. If the buyer is not of the age required by the machine, it does not dispense goods and returns the coins inserted. The firm said that the system had been patented in the Czech Republic and that they had also applied for an international patent. The Plzensky Prazdroj brewery will install 100 of the vending machines at universities, accommodation facilities and shopping arcades in Prague and central Bohemia. David Polnar, from Future Art, said that the system can also be used in door systems, turnstiles, gaming machines and Internet terminals. source

Irregular News for 04.12.07 Dallas, TX -- Over five years in the halls of Crest School in Citrus County, a love story unfolded. But the bond custodians Darlyn Beam and Bob Wilkey share is not romantic. "We work night shift together, and we've been great partners," Beam said. "Any time he needed my help, I was right there. Any time I needed him, he was right there." Wilkey said they talk about everything. "We just absolutely love each other," he said. So a few months ago, 61-year-old Wilkey offered to adopt 41-year-old Beam. "Because of circumstances, I never had my own child, and I wanted one," Wilkey said. "I just thought she'd be the one I wanted." Beam was not convinced at first. "I've heard of adopting kids, but not an adult," she said. But in a Citrus County courtroom, with newspaper cameras snapping away, Wilkey made the adoption official. It's a love story that friends, co-workers and strangers may not understand, but that doesn't matter to Wilkey and Beam. "I'm honored that a person actually considered me and loved me enough that he wants to be my parent," Beam said. source

Irregular News for 04.12.07 Dumfries, VA -- One person is dead and two others were injured, though not seriously, in an accident involving a tractor trailer and a Toyota car. It happened just before 2 p.m. on northbound I-95 at exit 152 (Rt. 234) in the Dumfries area. Virginia State Police Sgt. Terry Licklider says the driver of the truck was killed when the truck left the roadway, ran through a guardrail and overturned on the driver’s side in the wooded area. He said beer kegs had fallen from the truck. The two injured people were in the Toyota. State police are investigating the possibility that a third vehicle, which has been stopped, was also involved in this accident. source

Irregular News for 04.11.07 United Kingdom -- A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message. David Brown, 24, said he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying "Did I meet you last night?." Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love. "It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it." After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple - he's six foot seven inches tall and she's five foot four - have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa. A love-struck Brown said: "I've no idea how I ended up with her number in my head - it's only a few digits different from mine." source

I like hot, but don't usually make mine super hot. Cilantro's a must, and red onions, and I always use a little chipotle power, and sometimes I even add a little liquid smoke.

Irregular News for 04.10.07 Longview, TX -- Longview police arrested a fleeing suspect after he called 9-1-1 to say he didn't do anything wrong -- and he wasn't stopping. Authorities today report 36-year-old Danny Ray Jones of Hallsville is charged with evading arrest or detention with a vehicle, criminal mischief, possession of marijuana and theft. Longview police say Jones is free on 13,000, 500 dollars bond. The incident began early Friday when a policeman attempted to stop a pickup for a traffic violation. Authorities say Jones called 9-1-1 on his cell phone and told the dispatcher that "he was not going to stop because he had not done anything wrong." Police say the pickup driven by Jones was hauling a motorcycle that was reported stolen. Jones ended up on a dead end street, then drove through several back yards -- damaging shrubs and fences. He eventually surrendered. source

Irregular News for 04.09.07 New York, NY -- In this day and age where young students are frequently charged for serious school offenses such as possessing weapons, dealing drugs, or assaulting other students on school property, one Brooklyn teen's arrest may come as a surprise. A 13-year-old girl was handcuffed and placed under arrest in front of her classmates in Dyker Heights after she wrote "Okay" on her desk. The "suspect," Chelsea Fraser, says she's sorry for scribbling the word on her desk, but both she and her mother are shocked at the punishment. "I'm appalled, because here we have rapists, murderers, and you're taking a 13-year-old kid? Wasting valuable manpower to arrest a child who wrote on a desk?" Fraser's mother Diana Silva told CBS 2. Police confirm that that's exactly what's written on her arrest record and for the crime, she's been charged with criminal mischief and the making of graffiti. Fraser says the day she marked her desk, she was wrongly grouped together with troublemakers who had plastered stickers all over the classroom. Fraser was arrested at the Dyker Heights Intermediate School on March 30 along with three other male students. She says she was made to empty her pockets and take off her belt. Then she was handcuffed and led out of the school in front of her classmates and placed in the back of a police car. "It was really embarrassing because some of the kids, they talk, and they're going to label me as a bad kid. But I'm really not," Fraser said. "I didn't know writing 'Okay' would get me arrested." "All the kids were ... watching these three boys and my daughter being marched out with four -- they had four police officers -- walking them out, handcuffed," Silva said. "She goes to me, 'Mommy, these hurt!'" The students were taken to the 68th Precinct station house where Silva says they were separated for three hours. "MY child is 13-years-old -- doesn't it stand that I'm supposed to be present for any questioning?" Silva said. "I'm watching my daughter, she's handcuffed to the pole. I ask the officer has she been there the entire time? She says, 'Yes.'" On her report card, under conduct, Fraser has earned all "satisfactory" marks and one "excellent" mark. "My daughter just wrote something on a desk. I would have her scrub it with Soft Scrub on a Saturday morning when she should be out playing, and maybe a day of in-house and a formal apology to the principal," Silva said. CBS 2 contacted both the NYPD and the Board of Education for a response. The police say the arrests followed a request by the school's principal. The Board of Education said the matter is under investigation, adding that graffiti was found on several desks. source

Irregular News for 04.09.07 Carlsbad, CA -- Forget being glued to their seats: Kids at a suburban San Diego high school couldn't even get through their classroom doors Friday. With only a day to go before spring break, vandals plugged locks on all the exterior gates and doors on campus with super-strength adhesive. "A teacher who always gets there early called me on my cell phone and said, 'Guess what?'" said Carlsbad High School principal Margaret Stanchi. "But I didn't guess this." Roughly 100 doors were sealed shut sometime before the first staff arrived at about 6:30 a.m., Stanchi said. Custodial staff quickly unsealed the lock on a building with 27 classrooms, but the rest of the school's 3,000 students were sent to sit in gym bleachers until their classrooms were opened, one by one. Surveillance video taken at the school failed to provide any clues to the prankster's identity, Stanchi said. Carlsbad police were investigating the incident. source

New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one: Poll: Caption Contest XCIII Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck! Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests

Poll added.

Congrats to the Weekly Contest Winners!!! Weekly Winners for 04.08.07 cmb23: 1pt Caption Contest

WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATULATIONS cmb23!

Irregular News for 04.05.07 :: Teacher Revenge Edition New Zealand -- Shirley Boys' High School is defending its practice of making students on detention walk around in orange overalls with words identifying them as work crew printed on the back. The New Zealand Parent Teacher Association (NZPTA) says the practice is unacceptable humiliation that makes the students stand out unfairly. Principal John Laurenson said the overalls were not intended to shame students. Instead, they were worn by those doing dirty work as part of their detention "purely to preserve the uniform". "It is usually a punishment to fit the crime. If a boy's seen dropping litter, he picks up litter. If he's treading all over the rose garden, he might do weeding," he said. Laurenson said parents and students had never complained about the overalls which had been in use for many years. "The average fellow, he doesn't want to get mud or muck on his uniform," he said. The Christchurch school's discipline ranged from reprimands to detentions. Counselling was sometimes offered. NZPTA vice-president Margaret Mooney said the suits were "extremely radical" as they would make the student conspicuous. "Making kids stand out in orange boiler suits is a form of humiliation," she said. source

Irregular News for 04.05.07 :: Teacher Revenge Edition Tampa, FL -- 12-year-old Devonte Jackson carries his weight on the football field, but he never dreamed a teacher would size him up, making jokes about his weight. Devonte Jackson, 6th Grade Student, "He said, 'Aw, you a big football player, you can't keep your arm up.'" Jackson and his mother say during lunch last week, two-year Sligh Middle School teacher Raymond Palmer ridiculed him about his size in front of the other kids in the class. Nekeisha Bennett-Virgo, Jackson's Mother, "'You're getting bigger than I am.' Called him fat several times." Devonte Jackson, 6th Grade Student, "He was saying it loud, like he was big and bad, like he was trying to show off or something." Today Jackson's working from home, awaiting a solution from the school. School officials say the teacher has admitted to the weight references but refuses to apologize. Nekeisha Bennett-Virgo, Jackson's Mother, "The difference between him and the school bully is that he's an authority figure and should be setting an example, and he's not ." School officials say the teacher's comments were inappropriate and have agreed to move Devonte out of the classroom for the remainder of the year. Linda Cobbe, Hillsborough County Schools, "We won't let him get by with doing that without at least some counseling. The principal is going to urge him to change his mind and apologize." Devonte Jackson, 6th Grade Student, "I just never want to have to see him again, never want to have to talk to him again." Jackson's mother is hoping Palmer understands the gravity of his comments - words really can hurt. Nekeisha Bennett-Virgo, Jackson's Mother, "I think he's destroying what I worked hard to build." At his mother's request, Devonte is being moved to a magnet program at Sligh Middle School. School officials say they have never had a problem with the teacher before. He will be talked to and could get a mark against his permanent record. source