HOWDY Y'ALL FROM ARKANSAS

[Eric the Red]

HOWDY Y'ALL FROM ARKANSAS

 

 

A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

 

How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel? When you call

the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk

replies, "Go ahead."

 

How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried

tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

 

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas

to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

 

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? Documentaries.

 

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I- 40 and says to the

driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"

 

Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas Lottery? The winner gets

$3.00 a year for a million years.

 

The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert' near took

out the whole trailer park. The governor's library was a total loss

too. Both books poof up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring

one of them.

 

A new law was recently passed in Arkansas. When a couple gets

divorced, they are STILL cousins.

 

A guy walked into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide. The

bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are

ya?" "No", replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania". The bartender looks

at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania? "I'm a

taxidermist", said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered now,

asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man says, "I mount

animals". The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's

okay boys, he's one of us!"

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Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing

surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite

case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached

them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of

England.

The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm

and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he

won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a

woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on

into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was

the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them

together and now she's a senator from New York.

[AR Husker Fan]

***SNIP***

 

How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married?

 

***SNIP***

Isn't that redundant?????

[rawhide]

That's all you got for ETR. I thought there might be some reciprocity although that is probably what ETR is doing with this thread.

[paHUSKERMAN]

The only problem with the one joke is that there are several areas in Pennsylvania that you can interchange with Arkansas........

[Pedro Guerrero]

All I had left to work with was

the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them

together and now she's a senator from New York.

 

This is outstanding.

[AR Husker Fan]

That's all you got for ETR. I thought there might be some reciprocity although that is probably what ETR is doing with this thread.

Ah, but I only happen to live in Arkansas - I'm not from Arkansas. Heck, everything in it is true!

[rawhide]

I think it's called acclimation. I am acclimated to CA weather now after 22 years. Have to wear a light jacket if it gets cooler than 48. Not to insinuate that you resemble a Jeff Foxworthy skit just yet.