Terrific Tom Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 (Cue the Bob Seger music) Hello, everybody. For those of you who don't know, it's SHAKEDOWN WEEK (and I don't mean that the feds are staking out HuskerBob's house hoping to find 100 lbs. of hippie lettuce). This is the week where we all see who deserves to be in the top 10, and who's pretending (switch to Eric Clapton music. ) Yeah, that's a short intro. Tough sh#t. TO THE PICKS... Texas (+7) @ Oklahoma (3 star pick) Let's just get this one out of the way already. Look at the facts: 1 - Oklahoma has the better team. 2 - Texas hasn't beaten Oklahoma in a month of Sundays. 3 - Mack Brown is a ham sandwich. 4 - Eric the Red picked Oklahoma in his Big XII preview (look it up). So obviously, the pick is... Texas. Don't ask, just go with it. Illinois @ Michigan St. (-7) (2 star pick) This one's for my (five) avid readers. It's the matchup of Chief Notgonnacompete at Team Sparta. Gritty, gutty, balls-to-the-wall, touchdown Jesus hating, come home with your shield or on it Team Sparta plays like they should, and proves that the only people who sh#t on native Americans more than imported Americans are the Greeks. You pick it: Gyros or Pemmican. It's a no-brainer. Stanford @ Notre Dame (-3.5) 5 star pick Here's the thing about the Pac 10 for the uninitiated: two teams at the top who are pretty good, and 8 who suck harder than a milking machine at a Viagra convention. Obviously, Touchdown Jesus was preparing the Pope's room in Heaven last week, and couldn't attend (kudos to Joe T. for covering the bet of the year). But he's back this week, and until my girlfriend's HIV test results come back, I'm playing it safe. Plus, Purdue is pretty damn good. San Diego St. (-3.5) @ Wyoming 4 star pick The truth is, I don't even know where to start on this f'd up spread. First of all, if you've been to Laramie, (don't call it Norfolk, NE ) Wyoming, you know the Aztecs won't be intimidated. Wait. I have it. The spread is f'd up because overhyped big North favorite K-State (God, we miss you Ell Roberson) lost at Texas A&M. A&M buried Wyoming in Norfolk. The Aztecs did their tribe proud, bucked their encomienda roots, and actually competed in the Big House. Bottom Line: If you can play in Ann Arbor, Ta Ha Zoucha Park isn't that spooky. Wisconsin @ Ohio State (-3) 2 star pick The Buckeyes losing to the Wildkitties for the first time in 30 years is the same as Terrific Tom going 2-8 in week # 3. And we all know what happened in week #4, don't we. There is nothing more dangerous than a cornered Tiger. Or Buckeye, for that matter. OSU rolls. Tennessee @ Georgia (-12.5) 3 star pick I hate to beat dead whores (mainly because it's a violation of my probation), but the two QB system just ain't gonna work between the hedges. The Dawgs are finding their stride at the right time of year, and the Volunteers have just enough doubt about their ability to win on the road to allow UGA V to hump their legs soggy. :hump The Bulldogs romp and stomp. California (+7.5) @ USC 5 star pick Revenge factor my Mangino / Friedgen-large ass. USC seems to have everything going for them, but they could have easily dropped one early to Va. Tech. The Bears are better than Va Tech, and who the f#*k else have the Trojans battled. Since you're asking yourself "Self, who has Cal played?" I answer nobody. So this game is basically a wash. I'll take the points and the hungrier, we-still-don't-have-a-national-championship team. Florida State @ Syracuse (+19.5) 4 star pick Flash back to 1986. Coke-fueled Darryl Strawberry leads the Mets to the World Series. You remember them, right? Hate to f#*k Nancy Lopez Ray Knight, MooMooMooMooMookie Wilson, David Cone (a.k.a. Strawberry's pusher), and self-medicating Doc Gooden joined the Magic Bullett spitting, Elaine Benes dating Keith Hernandez to beat the BoSox in the Fall Classic... Anyway. The Orange beat the Big Red in '86, and you f'ers ought to recognize what it's like to go in there with a sub-par QB (sorry, McCathorn Clayton). Without Chris Rix, I like the 'Cuse to cover. Team Bowden still wins, though. Nebraska (+6) @ Texas Tech 5 star pick Huskers enter SoftTacoVille on the verge of an offensive explosion (speaking of offensive explosions, how would you like to share a cab with Mangino after dinner at Taco Bell?). If you can remember 1986, then you remember two short years ago, when much-maligned Jamaal Lord led the mediocre (soon to be 7-7) Huskers into College Station and won a game that all the haters said they couldn't possibly win. Well, David Horne is still on the roster, and even though it's a different Texas team, the 'Skers win. Kansas St. @ Kansas (+2.5) Outside the Little Apple, these f'ers are only worms. Sorry, but Karma's a bitch. Old-ass Snyder and his juco bitches finally get theirs, but not just in basketball season this year. The leadership vacuum created when Ell Roberson graduated would be enough to make Monica Lewinsky proud. If anybody in this world deserves a lucky break, it's Big Fat Mangino (just look at him. How would you like to not be able to scratch your own nuts or wipe your own ass??) Rock Chalk Jayhawk! Dorothy, Toto, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion...in the battle of the Kansas Civil War, bet on the Blue. I'm out. Respect. BooYakA Sha Tom Quote Link to comment
HuskerBob Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 holy schikies I don know where to start!! i guess i can settle on this for my soft rox quote o the week!! Flash back to 1986. Coke-fueled Darryl Strawberry leads the Mets to the World Series. You remember them, right? Hate to f#*k Nancy Lopez Ray Knight, MooMooMooMooMookie Wilson, David Cone (a.k.a. Strawberry's pusher), and self-medicating Doc Gooden joined the Magic Bullett spitting, Elaine Benes dating Keith Hernandez to beat the BoSox in the Fall Classic...Anyway. The Orange beat the Big Red in '86, and you f'ers ought to recognize what it's like to go in there with a sub-par QB (sorry, McCathorn Clayton). Without Chris Rix, I like the 'Cuse to cover. Team Bowden still wins, though. killin me tommie. killin. Quote Link to comment
fasteddie Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Texas (+7) @ Oklahoma (3 star pick)Let's just get this one out of the way already. Look at the facts: 1 - Oklahoma has the better team. 2 - Texas hasn't beaten Oklahoma in a month of Sundays. 3 - Mack Brown is a ham sandwich. 4 - Eric the Red picked Oklahoma in his Big XII preview (look it up). So obviously, the pick is... Texas. Don't ask, just go with it. you are on the pipe tom next time puff and flush kinda like yur muther should have not sure why i stil read thsese b/c you are worse at pickin game than mangino is pickin his salad fork. figured you wud like that one you dum POS. come thru this wk tom or else Quote Link to comment
Redout Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Hey TT got you down for poster of the week. You also come through with good stuff. Quote Link to comment
Eric the Red Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Why the hell would you pick Texas?? Quote Link to comment
Blackshirt Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Damn that hurts. But to his credit if it werent for that late TD OU wouldnt have covered. But I guess thats why Vegas is vegas. Hows he doin with the rest of em? Quote Link to comment
Eric the Red Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Georgia pick is in the crapper.....if I rememeber correctly someone told you that the Bulldogs shot their junk last week against LSU Quote Link to comment
Eric the Red Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 I think you finished up 5-4 correct me...... Quote Link to comment
Red November Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 If you ever pick Nebraska again, I wil hunt you down. Quote Link to comment
fasteddie Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 if it smells like a POS and looks likea POS then it must be Tom. you SUCK Tom stop ruining our season you jacakass!! :up Quote Link to comment
Redout Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey come on now eddie, play nice. 5-4 huh...........well still above 50% and in gambling that usually means you came out on top. good work in my book Tom. Look forward to next week. Quote Link to comment
RedCountry Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Agreed. Good stuff Tom. above average picks, excellent commetary. knocks me on my ass every week. keep em comin!! Quote Link to comment
HuskerBob Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Good stuff tom. youre a winner in my book!! and my bookies.. Quote Link to comment
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