Terrific Tom Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 What the hell happened in here? It's like somebody died. Oh, that's right. You cornheads take losing by 60 personally. Well, this oughtta cheer you up: it's week 7, and TT is still above .500, despite last week's 5-5. It's the most unsatisfying split I've been a part of since I laid fast eddie's mom down. I kid fasteddie, but in all seriousness, he's had it tough. He has to go door to door and register with his neighbors every time he moves to a new county (eight year olds, dude). Ed, I hope the dripping stops soon. Luv ya. Because of a restraining order I received from DMB, I won't be picking the Husks this week. However, this week's edition is Big XII heavy, so pay close attention. I'm feeling lucky. Boston College (-11) @ Pittsburgh 3 star pick If there's one thing I've learned this year (and there isn't) it's this. Don't f#*k with the Catholics. The eastern wing of team God is staring a sure win in the face. Pitt has a talent for getting down early and battling back to make it interesting, but this time they get down too far. This team has been dying to phone it in all year, and this week is the time. The Eagles feast on the Panthers with 57 varieties of sauces to make it more enjoyable. Oklahoma (-20) @ Kansas State 2 star pick I know all (5) the loyal readers have been tutored on the bounce theory, but f#*k that. K-State sucks. K-State, in an effort to win the North, shows nothing against Oklahoma in order to take out Nebraska down the road. (DMB, can I mention the Huskers, or is that off limits as well?) The Wildkittens' best play against the Sooners may be the quick kick on third down (I know you're reading, Snyder). The Sooner Schooner runs wild in the Little Apple, and the horses sh#t on Aggieville just to add insult to injury. Baylor (+22 1/2) @ Nebraska 5 star pick OK, so I lied. But what if I pick AGAINST the Red? Is that OK? Are you in the mood for streak bustin'? All NU has to do is win three more to be bowl eligible. After this week, consider the bowl streak over. Baylor, as if possessed by the spirit of Grant Taeft (look it up) smacks the Bugeaters across the face with their mighty (?) bear claw, and solidifies the notion that no Nebraska team can beat any Texas team in football (at least for two more years). Arizona St. (+12 1/2) @ USC 1 star pick California took the Trojans to the wire last week, and SC doesn't have the nuts to go two in a row. St. is better than people think, even on the road. There's a chance that the Norm Chow's offensive juggernaut will win this game anyway, but I'll take the points. North Carolina State (+3) @ Maryland 4 star pick The Wolfpack is still licking their wounds after losing the Civil War of Carolina in a controversial fashion. Unlike K-St., though, they bounce back. (On a related note, the Heels' post-game celebration included enough hippie lettuce to kill a reggae band.) Big Fat Friedgen, in his UnderArmor, can't get team Turtle over the hump, even in their home pond. A pack of Wolves beats a pond of Turtles any day. Wisconsin @ Purdue (-6 1/2) 5 star pick Purdue fans, get your Rose Bowl tickets now. Purdue comes home after a three week road stand and busts the Badgers' ass, after surviving two sub-par performances, and JoePa going off the deep end rallying the troops in Way Too Happy Valley (I was waiting for the student body to start goose-stepping and saluting the old bastard!) The Boilers bury Alvarez (get it?) Texas A&M (+7 1/2) @ Oklahoma State 3 star pick All right, prognosticators, this just in: A&M is better than even I thought they could ever be. f#*k me once, shame on you. f#*k me twice, shame on me. f#*k me three times, shame on rohypnol. But I'm on to you Aggies, you won't f#*k me a fourth time! I've picked against the 12th man for the last time. Despite the fact that the Cowpokes have the better team and are at home, I'll take the Ags and their kick-ass marching band. Utah (-21) @ North Carolina 5 star pick UNC partied until Wednesday after last week's win. Ganja. Three players suspended. Utah, The Urban Legend, and his hot-ass wife go through Chapel Hill like the Blue Devils do in basketball season. Except it won't be that close. New defensive coordinator Marvin Sanders moves back to Lincoln after the game, you heard it here first. UCLA (+14 1/2) @ California 2 star pick The Golden Bears struggle mightily after their mind-numbing loss against USC. UCLA's offense is better than most people know, and I have faith that they can score a late TD to cut it to 14 for Great Moments in Gambling History. Missouri @ Texas (-14) 2 star pick The Mack Daddy and his Horns are all over the Tigers like genital warts on eddie's c**k. Coming off the frustration of the Red River Shutout, Tejas is ready to blow off some steam. Mizzou is a one-trick pony, and Brad Smith ain't gonna carry them in this one. Coach Brown, looking to save his job, makes this a laugher at halftime. I'm out, kids. Tom Quote Link to comment
AR Husker Fan Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 Once again, Tom - great stuff! A very entertaining read! Quote Link to comment
Eric the Red Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 Jesus Christ....Hippie lettuce????!!!!!!! Cowboys are going to roll, crappy pick Quote Link to comment
RedCountry Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 All right, prognosticators, this just in: A&M is better than even I thought they could ever be. f#*k me once, shame on you. f#*k me twice, shame on me. f#*k me three times, shame on rohypnol. But I'm on to you Aggies, you won't f#*k me a fourth time! I've picked against the 12th man for the last time. Despite the fact that the Cowpokes have the better team and are at home, I'll take the Ags and their kick-ass marching band. Great. just flipping great Tom. A royhpnol reference in a gambling article... very solid!! Like the opposite of my leg being humped soggy!! :hump Quote Link to comment
Redout Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Terrific Tom you amaze me everytime....I got you for poster of the week. AGAIN. Fast Eddie...Drip.....drip......drip......drip..... Quote Link to comment
Blackshirt Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Very solid effort Tom. Keep it up and you could give T-Shatel a run for his money... Quote Link to comment
Eric the Red Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Your about 2-5 right now. You suck Quote Link to comment
Redout Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Tom you suck this week Quote Link to comment
HuskerBob Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 wow you did friggin stink this week worse than that dead whore in my mattress. but aw hell buddy, I long since gave up on ya for me meal money!!! you see the size of my noggin??!! you think I could use your pix to feed that cantaloupe on a toothpick?!! hell no. cud care less if you pic another game right this whole yr - yous crax me arse up!!! Quote Link to comment
fasteddie Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 hey tommie girl. YOU SUCK!! :up jus quit already loser. oh yeh i forgot you cant stop b/c you are a degenerate. Quote Link to comment
HuskerBob Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 hey tommie girl. YOU SUCK!! :up jus quit already loser. oh yeh i forgot you cant stop b/c you are a degenerate. screw you scagnetty eddy. Tom is mi boy!! wheres yous at Tommie brotha?? No weekly yak? Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.