Another reason why cats suk

[HuskerBob]

sounds like somethin outta national lampoons.. stoopid cat, i put you up there for a reason!!

 

Cat Survives 10-Mile Trip on Top of Car

 

2 hours, 2 minutes ago

INKOM, Idaho - Torri Hutchinson's cat might just have one less life to live. Hutchison was driving along Interstate 15 one day recently when a motorist kept trying to get her attention and pointing to the roof of her car.

 

 

 

She said she was wary of the man, but wondered if perhaps her ski rack might have come loose.

 

She pulled over to the side, but kept her doors locked and the motor running.

 

The man pulled up behind her. Hutchinson rolled down her window to hear the man frantically shouting, "Your cat! Your cat!"

 

He reached for the roof of her car and handed the shocked Hutchinson her orange tabby.

 

She had driven about 10 miles with the cat on top of the car, and didn't even notice the feline when she stopped for gas.

 

Hutchinson said Cuddle Bug, or C.B. for short, had climbed into the back of her car as she was getting ready to leave. She put him out, but he must have jumped on the roof while she wasn't looking, she said

[slacker]

I've still never figured out how you milk a cat.

[gamecocks]

You can milk anything with nipples.

[slacker]

You can milk anything with nipples.

I have nipples, can you milk me?

[slacker]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

 

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!

6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

 

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

 

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

 

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

[DJR313]

Funny stuff slacker. Ever see Robin Williams live on broadway? He compares a cat to a gay man. Absolutely hilarious!

[slacker]

Never saw that but I can picture the comparison. Never met a cat without an attitude problem.