5 Stages of drunkeness

[Blackshirt]

Reading Dave's list of fubar'd characteristics made me think of this..

 

5 Stages of drunkeness

 

STAGE 1 - SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

 

STAGE 2 - GOOD LOOKING

This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

 

STAGE 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you're still SMART, so naturally, you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also start buying drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

 

STAGE 4 - BULLET PROOF

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up the boyfriends of the women who fancy you and challenge them to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle, because you're SMART, you're RICH and Hell, you're better looking than them anyway.

 

STAGE 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NOONE CAN SEE YOU. You can dance on a table to impress the people who fancy you because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of you lungs because noone can see or hear you and because you're still SMART and you know ALL the words. You can do anything you want, because noone will know. And you certainly won't remember...

[slacker]

I never make it to stages 4 or 5 B)

[Eric the Red]

WHat about the "love" stage? You love everyone, you cry with a friend for no reason whatsoever. You become "hug" happy. You wrap your arm around complete stangers.

[nebr_bob]

I never make it to stages 4 or 5

 

I start at 4 or 5