Cy the Cyclone Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Destination: Wisconsin! Wisconsin is another one of my favorite states because no matter what you do or how you do it, it always ends in “sin”. Get it? Bwahahaha…uh…anyway… Wisconsin has a rather odd shape and is sometimes referred to as “The Hamburger Helper State” This is because of its resemblance to an oven mitt and not because of the false (though persistent) rumors concerning any strange relationships between the state’s inhabitants and their livestock…or how this results in butter with amazing creamy consistency known throughout the world. Part of the odd shape of the state can be credited to a battle between Wisconsin and Michigan over the UP. Wisconsin won the battle and forced Michigan to take it so they could continue to be the only state shaped like something you stick your hand up. Wisconsin History The name Wisconsin was derived from a tradition started when the state was originally settled. Years ago, fugitives escaping from the law decided to stop and hide in the area. They were discovered by law abiding settlers who, after discovering their criminal past and having no jail available, provided them with shovels and told them they had 24 hours to dig a pit. After the pit was dug, the criminals were tossed into their makeshift cells…after which the settlers had no idea what to do with them. After a prolonged argument about what a suitable punishment would be for the prisoners the Village Elder walked out in disgust at the lack of progress shouting “Piss on them convicts and their sins…I don’t give a damn what you do with them…” The villagers, taking the wise elder at his words immediately went to the pit and relieved themselves on the felon’s heads, telling them “Our Elder told us to whiz on you cons for your sins!” Through the years this has been shortened to Whizconsin and finally to Wisconsin when the state decided to lower school standards by dropping the last letter of the alphabet so more athletes would be eligible to attend the state university. Meanwhile, the law-abiding settlers moved out of the state and left the convicts who remain to this day. Wisconsin Facts: The University of Wisconsin sporting teams are called the Badgers yet they have a guy dressed up like a ferret for a mascot. People who wear cheese on their heads are allowed to roam loose on city streets and are generally looked upon as pillars of the community. Milwaukee’s Best is actually the best that Milwaukee can do these days… . The state bird, flower and rock: Cheese State Motto: Wisconsin…the cheesiest place on earth! Things You Don’t Want To Miss in Wisconsin House on a Rock – This is a house…that’s on a rock. Before it was House on a Rock, it was House built in the Valley With a Rock Hanging Over It…then it was House Under a Rock….after which the owner did some extensive remodeling and rebuilt it. The original house is still under the rock. If you don’t believe me, take a shovel and find out for yourself. Circus Museum – This is located in Madison in a big football stadium located on the University of Wisconsin campus. It is chock full of clowns, fat ladies, dog faced boys and thousands of other things you would find at a typical freak show. Actually, the museum is located somewhere else but I can’t remember where. Wisconsin Dells – Imagine a time when there was no electricity and people were yearning for entertainment…no matter how lame. Go to Wisconsin Dells and you never have to imagine about it again. Wisconsin Dells in Branson without the live entertainment…or Wall Drug without the ice water. It was cool in the 50’s but then the world discovered fun and moved on. One of the pluses of the Dells is you can go down water slides and drive go-karts spreading mayhem and madness everywhere because the people watching and enforcing the rules don’t care whether you live or die… Apple River – For some reason, there are people out there who think floating in a tube down the Apple River while drinking beer is fun. Myself…I prefer sitting in a tube on the Platte river where I don’t have to worry about going anywhere since the water is only 3 inches deep and if I want a beer, I just get up, walk to the bank and get one without getting my feet wet. The wraps up this installment of the travelogue. Tune in next time for Illinois! 8 Quote Link to comment
okaive Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Damn good as always. Can't wait to harrass my co-worker about his state'sre ferral. Quote Link to comment
BOJ Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Don't suppose you have link for your others, so they can all be in one place? Edit: Or rather so my lazy butt can find them without any effort Quote Link to comment
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