Facebook Hates Your Poor Friends

[cornographic]

and, therefore, they probably hate you too.

 

Good afternoon Slaves and fellow Surveillees! Just when you thought Big Bro had exhausted his reportoire and you'd grown tired of Murican sports fans yelling, "N S A, N S A, N S A!" at international events, Facebook, that wonder of social media technocracy comes up with a new variation on the theme of making you and your poor friends feel bad about yourselves:

 

 

 

Facebook patent: Your friends could help you get a loan - or not

It could allow lenders to use a borrower's social network to determine whether he or she is a good credit risk.

Here's how it would work: You apply for a loan and your would-be lender somehow examines the credit ratings of your Facebook friends.

"If the average credit rating of these members is at least a minimum credit score, the lender continues to process the loan application. Otherwise, the loan application is rejected," the patent states.

http://money.cnn.com/2015/08/04/technology/facebook-loan-patent/

 

George Orwell is a banker now, be-otches! But you know, it just makes sense, doesn't it? Why ask you for your credit history when they can "ask" your friends for theirs, w/o them knowing about it, of course? Hey, birds of a feather flock together, right, and Mark Von Zuckerberg has just invented another way of flipping you the bird. Need that car loan? Well, your best bro Danny just defaulted on another CC payment this month, so fuhgettaboutit! Sister Sue is on probation for boucing a check to the local liqour store, so forget about that new 4K flat screen tv you'd been dreaming about for months. Mortgage? LOLOL, no fricking way Jose', not with that Bohemian freak you hang out with down on the street corner, not with any of your, as DJ Trump would say, "loser friends". You can't be hanging out with these people:

 

 

But would do much better with these--or at least fake it:

 

 

I know, rather monochromatic in their Masonic zoot suits and generally homogenous mindsets, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? You don't want to be a "loser" do you, and Facebook, God bless 'em, doesn't want you to be a "loser" either. "Losers" don't get credit and "winners" do--it's part of "Trumpism"--and we can thank Von Zuckerberg for his technocratic altruism in helping us to a higher path: of surveillance.

[NUance]

Ha ha! I'll bet the people in that first picture make more than the ones in the second pic.

[cornographic]

Ha ha! I'll bet the people in that first picture make more than the ones in the second pic.

You may be right about that, Jersey Shore thing.