Banned Substance

[slacker]

Irregular News for 05.22.06

 

Chandler, AZ -- A new banned substance is making its way around Chandler Basha High School — ketchup. Bottles of the condiment have been smuggled into the cafeteria and promptly confiscated when students whipped them out for their burgers and fries.

 

The ketchup conspiracy began last week when school administrators, fed up with students stomping on ketchup packets and squirting the red goo on sidewalks and hallways, limited ketchup to three packets per burger. If they want more, they have to pay up: 25 cents per extra packet.

 

Outraged, about 50 students boycotted cafeteria food a week ago to send a message, and they’re still bringing their lunch this week, said Chris Goldsmith, a junior at the school.

 

“With a cheeseburger or a hamburger, they have, like no bun, so you have to use quite a bit of ketchup to make it taste decent,” Goldsmith said. “I think it’s ridiculous that now we have to pay for ketchup.”

 

A black market even started up. Some students are selling their contraband at five packets for 25 cents.

 

Goldsmith said he doesn’t know anyone who stomped on the packets, but “as long as it doesn’t get on me, I’m fine. That’s what I think janitors are for.”

 

Principal Kristine Marchiando said janitors have their work cut out for them when the sticky sauce bakes in the sun.

 

“We have to steam clean it and move all of the heavy tables” to remove the ketchup, Marchiando said.

 

In addition to the mess, Marchiando says the ketchup consumption escalated to more than 7,000 packets in one week.

 

“That’s just way over the edge,” she said.

 

She’s heard complaints from students that they need more ketchup, but she says “Just be happy you get three. That should be enough,” adding that junior high students get only one ketchup packet.

 

Students are allowed to bring their own ketchup packets, but can’t bring bottles of ketchup to school because it would be a health code violation, not to mention “an even worse mess,” she said.

 

A ketchup smuggler was disciplined after the student brought a bottle from home two days in a row. Administrators also called the parents of several students when they brought bottled ketchup to school, Marchiando said.

 

“In high school, kids are going to be high school kids,” she said. “We want to keep (the campus) clean and healthy.”

 

source

[AR Husker Fan]

***SNIP***

 

Goldsmith said he doesn’t know anyone who stomped on the packets, but “as long as it doesn’t get on me, I’m fine. That’s what I think janitors are for.”

 

***SNIP***

There's a snot-nosed kid that's never held a real job in his life...

[BIGREDIOWAN]

I couldn't agree with you more I say if they catch these little bastards doing this that their detention is to clean up the whole cafeteria just to see what it's like!!!

[tattooedhusker]

i've been a cleaner/janitor whatever, and when i see kids (i'm not too old myself but you know) trashing a place, making a mess, it pisses me off something horrible, they just don't know what life is and how frustrating it's going to get.