slacker

Congrats to the Weekly Contest Winners!!! Weekly Winners for 09.02.07 husker rob: 1pt Caption Contest

WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATULATIONS husker rob!

Here's the minutes from our last band meeting: - I've said a lot of things in my time, not all of it's worth listening to. - So we have to get up at 7 o'clock in the morning and do 200 squat thrusts? - Honda Accord was to big to fit in the gap there, I knew as soon as I wrote it there'd be some sort of controversy. - You're like a couple of.. ..cool looking.. idiots... - Ah, I see what you're doing, you're watching Jermaine with those rock and roll moves, buying the leather suit, getting the mixed nuts, jumping on the bed, and you thought how could I equal this. - You got any cashews in there? ... No I picked them out. ... Typical. - So, what is water polo? ... It's like polo, but in the water. ... On sea horses? ... No, just swimming. - At these mermaid parties do you smoke sea weed? - Yeah, I can see the Brett, mini-bar charge zero point zero zero dollars, right here after drinks charged to the room from hotel bar, three hundred and fifty two dollars. - It wasn't me, it was the women's water polo team. - Don't know how that happened, I put the hand break on. ... No in America the hand breaks on the right. ... Ah, I must have just adjusted the seat. - I'm so angry, I feel like swearing! - I said, aaaah central park in Newark.

Anyone know what I'm referring to? Don't you hate it when your fruit tastes line New Zealanders? DVD = Dubbed Video Dub 25 years and it's already obsolete!! Now it's time for everyone's favorite dragon, Albi: the raciest dragon. Everyone knows dragon tears turn into jelly beans... New Zealander, stop touching my fruit! ...too many mother uckers, ucking with my sci... New Zealand, why not? You look like a banana balls. This looks more like the bird *flapping hands* try putting some wings on your bird. I've totally confused you with Australians, I feel terrible!!! You can uncover you eyes, they're not Australian, they're New Zealanders.. ...good byeeee leggy blond ... leggy, leggy, leggy, leggy, leggy, leggy, leggy, leggy blond...

I believe "narcisim" covers it... And is that a bad thing? Me think not.. The only people that use terms like narcissism are those that ain't got it. Sounds like a valley girl don't it?

New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one: Poll: Caption Contest CIV Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck! Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests

Adding poll, finally..

Congrats to the Weekly Contest Winners!!! Weekly Winners for 08.26.07 husker rob: 1pt Caption Contest

WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATULATIONS husker rob!

It was suggested to me that I post this on the board. Sorry about the way it's written, it was originally a narrative part of an email I was sending someone. Before reading, you should know I'm a really good looking guy, if I do say so myself, very fit... Sorry if this offends any of our plumper members, it's all meant in fun. The original receptions, also a board member, thought it was good for a chuckle.. A Barista, A Runner & the Bubba Sisters Email segment by Slacker I was heading back from the gym this afternoon and had stopped off at the Euro Café to pick up some lunch. Threw together a salad and picked up a roll. I also stopped by the coffee shop to pick up one of those trendy coffees I like so much. There were three overweight, middle aged women hanging on the counter flirting with the barista about what type of frozen yogurt they wanted; they were actually flirting with the ice cream machine through the barista. One woman was making love to a sample cup of what I'm guessing was at one time vanilla. Judging by her size I would say she had already been through six sample cups before making the final decision. She was at least 50-75lbs overweight, a girthy kind of overweight, bulky in all the wrong places. With the way she was hoisting herself against the counter, I feared for the structural reinforcements. She was the kind of overweight that made her skin look chunky, her feet were to big for her shoes and kind of floated over the souls. Huge, chunky calves and arm flab. Licking and sucking on the empty sample cup. Dan, the barista, saw me standing at the counter by the register, waiting patiently while the women were orgasming over their frozen treat sample cups. He brought my presents to their attention, "Look at Joe standing over there, afternoon coffee today?" He called in my direction. "That's out of the ordinary?" The largest woman looked around with a smile, which quickly turned to a frown-smile, sides of lips forced up. She was just licking frozen cream from the tiny sample spoon when I came into her gaze. As you noted before, I'm not morbidly obese, I actually look quite fit. I had my gym bag strap diagonally across my chest and my running shoes tied together by laces and draped over my shoulder. I was gleaming internally with the fact that I just made that sweet cream taste bitter in her mouth. Dan continued, "Waiting on me to go for a run?" Nope, I called back that I had just finished my run. Dan never runs with us but he has mentioned that he'd like to start. He is tall and skinny, the kind of guy you would picture being on a high school track team. I was loving this moment, he didn't mean to but I could tell he was making the bubba sisters feel bad about their icy vices. The leader had a sour smile on her face, still licking the empty spoon. To top it off he asked how far I ran today, talking past the women as they paid for there desserts. Too perfect. I answered back with 5 miles, the icing on the frozen yogurt! I couldn't imagine any of those women walking, let alone running, five miles in their life. You know, it might be bad of me, but it's situations like that that make me want to work out ever harder and run longer. Is it bad that being fit makes me feel superior to people like that, the vast majority of the population? I love situations like that, is that bad? Situations where I encounter those grossly overweight people, while they're indulging in their obsession, and they notice (for lack of a better term) how good I look. Is it bad for me to feel superior? To have that complex? There's probably a word for it, maybe I should seek help. Maybe I should have turned those women onto the Bagel Focus diet.

Yeah, okay, I swear, I'll get to this this weekend. Sorry guys, been a little preoccupied lately.

Taa daa, now you can do this: rKEBeYxQnXo

Thanks and I would say just surprise them, if anyone asks how you did it I'd just point them to this thread, or a Mod / Admin or Me...

So I'm just thinking, how did I get this job? I ask myself that every day?? It's a mystery.. So here's my hack. I set up a new tag, here's how it works. To embed a video in your post type: [youtube]video id[/youtube] An example would be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEyt8qqaWD8 is the full link, the video id would be everything after the = in the URL, i.e. dEyt8qqaWD8 So you would type: [youtube]dEyt8qqaWD8[/youtube] And you would get this: dEyt8qqaWD8

is that your Indian name Yeah, that was funny, made me go and laugh out loud!

Just for fun, one of these days, I might turn on the page limit. You won't know when, you won't know the limit, all the sudden the poster will get an error that the max thread limit has been reached. But then again, maybe I wont. Hopefully that will give you a little glimmer of hope...

dont you have a contest to judge over in the crib or post another riddle or something yeah, maybe, if i feel like it, that's the nice thing about having allllll this power, no one to boss me around...

That's what I'm saying, it will go on for-ever-and-ever-and-ever. Or at least until we run out of server space..

Dang it, I didn't notice this thread went over 50 pages. I was going to express my amusement when it did. There is no limit on the number of pages a thread can have, well there is but I have the limit turned off. Carry on...

That was very upsetting

No, take discussions of an illegal nature completely off hboard.

If it's legal, discuss away..

You can discuss this in theory and hypotheticals, but please don't discuss actual sites or practices. If it's illegal, Huskerboard could be held liable for facilitating the practice. If you need to, take the discussion off line and away from Hboard..

WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATULATIONS GSG5545! One morning a woman wrote the same note to three different people. The first was a bank robber, who laughed at the note and threw it away. The second was an Australian, who also threw the note away. The third was a reverend, who was very sad to received the note. What was happening? The woman was a traffic warden who wrote the three parking tickets. The bank robber had parked a stolen car which he intended to dump after the robbery, so he threw the ticket away. The tourist was returning to Australia shortly, so he threw his ticket away. The reverend was sad because he would have to pay his fine.

Did the woman work for a bank or was she a bank representative? NO