Corporate Lessons

[Roxy]

Some things to keep in mind when trying to get ahead in the world.

 

Corporate Lesson 1:

 

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her

shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a

towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the

next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800

dollars and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets

to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next

door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say

anything about the $800 he owes me?"

 

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit

and risk with your management in time, you may be in a

position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 

 

Corporate Lesson 2:

 

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing

her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun

said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once

again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest

apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent,

the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It

said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

 

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might

miss a great opportunity.

 

 

Corporate Lesson 3:

 

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch

when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The

Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!"

says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,

without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing

on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of

Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up,"

the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

 

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

 

 

Corporate Lesson 4:

 

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,

"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow

answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,

and rested. A fox x jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

 

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting

very high up.

 

 

Corporate Lesson 5:

 

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to Get to the

top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the

energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough

strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating

some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after the fourth

night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

 

Moral of the story: bullsh#t might get you to the top, but it won't keep

you there.

[pigsonthewing]

those are pretty funny

[gamecocks]

How funny and very true.

[BIGREDIOWAN]

Those are great............

[Hawkeyehusker]

Pretty good!

[rawhide]

Ps. 129 will be shared with some mackerel snapper friends of mine.

 

 

I think many CEO's and CFO's use the BS as a management model.