A Barista, A Runner & the Bubba Sisters

[slacker]

It was suggested to me that I post this on the board. Sorry about the way it's written, it was originally a narrative part of an email I was sending someone. Before reading, you should know I'm a really good looking guy, if I do say so myself, very fit... Sorry if this offends any of our plumper members, it's all meant in fun. The original receptions, also a board member, thought it was good for a chuckle..

 

A Barista, A Runner & the Bubba Sisters

Email segment by Slacker

 

I was heading back from the gym this afternoon and had stopped off at the Euro Café to pick up some lunch. Threw together a salad and picked up a roll. I also stopped by the coffee shop to pick up one of those trendy coffees I like so much. There were three overweight, middle aged women hanging on the counter flirting with the barista about what type of frozen yogurt they wanted; they were actually flirting with the ice cream machine through the barista. One woman was making love to a sample cup of what I'm guessing was at one time vanilla. Judging by her size I would say she had already been through six sample cups before making the final decision. She was at least 50-75lbs overweight, a girthy kind of overweight, bulky in all the wrong places. With the way she was hoisting herself against the counter, I feared for the structural reinforcements. She was the kind of overweight that made her skin look chunky, her feet were to big for her shoes and kind of floated over the souls. Huge, chunky calves and arm flab. Licking and sucking on the empty sample cup.

 

Dan, the barista, saw me standing at the counter by the register, waiting patiently while the women were orgasming over their frozen treat sample cups. He brought my presents to their attention, "Look at Joe standing over there, afternoon coffee today?" He called in my direction. "That's out of the ordinary?" The largest woman looked around with a smile, which quickly turned to a frown-smile, sides of lips forced up. She was just licking frozen cream from the tiny sample spoon when I came into her gaze. As you noted before, I'm not morbidly obese, I actually look quite fit. I had my gym bag strap diagonally across my chest and my running shoes tied together by laces and draped over my shoulder. I was gleaming internally with the fact that I just made that sweet cream taste bitter in her mouth.

 

Dan continued, "Waiting on me to go for a run?" Nope, I called back that I had just finished my run. Dan never runs with us but he has mentioned that he'd like to start. He is tall and skinny, the kind of guy you would picture being on a high school track team. I was loving this moment, he didn't mean to but I could tell he was making the bubba sisters feel bad about their icy vices. The leader had a sour smile on her face, still licking the empty spoon. To top it off he asked how far I ran today, talking past the women as they paid for there desserts. Too perfect. I answered back with 5 miles, the icing on the frozen yogurt! I couldn't imagine any of those women walking, let alone running, five miles in their life.

 

You know, it might be bad of me, but it's situations like that that make me want to work out ever harder and run longer. Is it bad that being fit makes me feel superior to people like that, the vast majority of the population? I love situations like that, is that bad? Situations where I encounter those grossly overweight people, while they're indulging in their obsession, and they notice (for lack of a better term) how good I look. Is it bad for me to feel superior? To have that complex? There's probably a word for it, maybe I should seek help. Maybe I should have turned those women onto the Bagel Focus diet.

[rawhide]

When you're in the hospital won't it be embarassing that the Doctor has to say you're dying of nothing?

 

To each their own. You say salad I say FREAKIN' STEAK with EVERYTHING

 

As long as I make it to the ISU game next month. I'll huff and puff my fat ass into my space and yours too.

[AR Husker Fan]

***SNIP***

 

You know, it might be bad of me, but it's situations like that that make me want to work out ever harder and run longer. Is it bad that being fit makes me feel superior to people like that, the vast majority of the population? I love situations like that, is that bad? Situations where I encounter those grossly overweight people, while they're indulging in their obsession, and they notice (for lack of a better term) how good I look. Is it bad for me to feel superior? To have that complex? There's probably a word for it, maybe I should seek help. Maybe I should have turned those women onto the Bagel Focus diet.

I believe "narcisim" covers it...

[slacker]

***SNIP***

 

You know, it might be bad of me, but it's situations like that that make me want to work out ever harder and run longer. Is it bad that being fit makes me feel superior to people like that, the vast majority of the population? I love situations like that, is that bad? Situations where I encounter those grossly overweight people, while they're indulging in their obsession, and they notice (for lack of a better term) how good I look. Is it bad for me to feel superior? To have that complex? There's probably a word for it, maybe I should seek help. Maybe I should have turned those women onto the Bagel Focus diet.

I believe "narcisim" covers it...

And is that a bad thing? Me think not.. The only people that use terms like narcissism are those that ain't got it. Sounds like a valley girl don't it?

[AR Husker Fan]

***SNIP***

 

You know, it might be bad of me, but it's situations like that that make me want to work out ever harder and run longer. Is it bad that being fit makes me feel superior to people like that, the vast majority of the population? I love situations like that, is that bad? Situations where I encounter those grossly overweight people, while they're indulging in their obsession, and they notice (for lack of a better term) how good I look. Is it bad for me to feel superior? To have that complex? There's probably a word for it, maybe I should seek help. Maybe I should have turned those women onto the Bagel Focus diet.

I believe "narcisim" covers it...

And is that a bad thing? Me think not.. The only people that use terms like narcissism are those that ain't got it. Sounds like a valley girl don't it?

Me thinks thou protest overmuch. I never said it was bad...

[huskernumerouno]

slackers tombstone will read "Stayed in shape , Killed by irate overweight woman at Ice cream counter"

[BIGREDIOWAN]

I find that if I don't work out for a week or so I start to feel like crap!!!!

[husker rob]

 

Dan, the barista, saw me standing at the counter by the register, waiting patiently while the women were orgasming over their frozen treat sample cups. He brought my presents to their attention, "Look at Joe standing over there, afternoon coffee today?" He called in my direction. "That's out of the ordinary?" The largest woman looked around with a smile, which quickly turned to a frown-smile, sides of lips forced up. She was just licking frozen cream from the tiny sample spoon when I came into her gaze. As you noted before, I'm not morbidly obese, I actually look quite fit. I had my gym bag strap diagonally across my chest and my running shoes tied together by laces and draped over my shoulder. I was gleaming internally with the fact that I just shot sweet bitter cream in her mouth.

 

fixed it for you. now leave the fat chicks alone and stay current with the contest crib

 

[huskernumerouno]

you tell him rob, I see boomer sooner lick a nut left message in the shed for you and BRI

[Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red]

slackers tombstone will read "Stayed in shape , Killed by irate overweight woman at Ice cream counter"

[rawhide]

For all the fanatical sports minded people out there; what I mean is actual participants:

 

 

LIKE RUNNERS:

 

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-0...es_N.htm?csp=34