huskernumerouno Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After Mr. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in & get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior any longer and may be forced to ban both of you from the store unless it is cured. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away." 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the Auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least - 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" Regards, Wal-Mart Quote Link to comment
huskerfan500 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 That is hilarious, me and my friends have to try some of those Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Love those............. Quote Link to comment
Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Boy that brings back memories. Used to do sh#t like that in high school. (most notably the putting condoms in other peoples carts) Quote Link to comment
HuskerNCo Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I am laughing so hard. This is exactly the kind of crap my husband and former brother-in-law did anywhere we went that had more than barstools in it. Have to admit it was funny though... As the saying goes: you can dress 'em up but can't take them anywhere, although who gets dressed up for Walmart? Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 I am laughing so hard. This is exactly the kind of crap my husband and former brother-in-law did anywhere we went that had more than barstools in it. Have to admit it was funny though...As the saying goes: you can dress 'em up but can't take them anywhere, although who gets dressed for Walmart? fixed it for ya Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Boy that brings back memories. Used to do sh#t like that in high school. (most notably the putting condoms in other peoples carts) was that last week? you make it sound like it has been a long time Quote Link to comment
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