Break 'em out

[skersRmyteam]

let's get some Colorado jokes brewing on this board... I'll start

 

 

Colorado and Nebraska have decided to merge into one state.

 

Nebraskans gain the mountains, and Colorado gets a football team

 

Kinda mild I know

[papersun87]

You see a Colorado player riding a bike down the street. Why don't you run him over?

 

Because it's probably YOUR bike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[holvy83]

Two buffalo were getting divorced. They were at a court hearing to decide who would get custody of their kid. After the judge came out of his chambers, he said, "After reviewing both of your cases, I have decided to grant custody to the mother."

 

The kid started whining and crying. The judge asked, "What's wrong?"

 

"My mother beats me," the kid said.

 

"Well, I guess I'll have to grant custody to the father then", the judge said.

 

The kid started whining and crying some more. The judge asked, "What's wrong now?"

 

The kid said, "My father beats me even more."

 

"Well, you don't want to live with your mother because she beats you and you don't want to live with your father because he beats you. Where do you want to live?" the judge asked.

 

"I wanna live with the Colorado Buffaloes, they don't beat anybody!"

 

[huskersok]

Q: What is the most common phrase used by a former Colorado football player?

A: Would you like fries with that?

 

Q: How do you keep a Colorado football player out of your yard?

A: Put up a goalpost.

 

[huskersok]

A man inherited over one billion dollars from a long lost uncle who happened to be an oil baron. The man, thrilled at his good fortune, asked his young son what he wanted. He told his child that money was no object. The boy said he wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit. So the man bought him the University of Colorado.

[LouisianaHusker]

There once was a high school football player being recruited by several of the top programs in the nation, and since he was extremely religious he wanted to go to one of the Church sponsored schools.

 

Well he took a visit to BYU and things were going great until he was asked what religion he was since that was one of the big factors as to if he would get a scholarship or not. After thinking for a moment he said that he was a Jesuit and was told that BYU would only take Mormons and the Dean of Admissions told him that he should look into Boston College.

 

He went to visit Boston College and once again things were looking good until he was asked what religion he was. After thinking again he responded Catholic, well the Athletic Director apologized and said that he should see if Notre Dame wanted him.

 

He makes the trip to South Bend and loved what he saw but when the visit was almost over, you guessed it, he got asked what religion he was. Well being asked this again and getting the previous answers wrong he got very angry and sounded off with a profanity laced response that would have made a sailor blush.

 

Shocked at what he heard, the President of the University, who happens to be a priest said, "Go to Colorado, they'll take you."

[skersRmyteam]

Two buffalo were getting divorced. They were at a court hearing to decide who would get custody of their kid. After the judge came out of his chambers, he said, "After reviewing both of your cases, I have decided to grant custody to the mother."

 

The kid started whining and crying. The judge asked, "What's wrong?"

 

"My mother beats me," the kid said.

 

"Well, I guess I'll have to grant custody to the father then", the judge said.

 

The kid started whining and crying some more. The judge asked, "What's wrong now?"

 

The kid said, "My father beats me even more."

 

"Well, you don't want to live with your mother because she beats you and you don't want to live with your father because he beats you. Where do you want to live?" the judge asked.

 

"I wanna live with the Colorado Buffaloes, they don't beat anybody!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

now thats some funny stuff

[Jim Hammer]

How do you get a Colorado grad off your porch?

 

Pay for the pizza.

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between a Colorado co-ed and a trash bag?

 

The trash bag gets taken out once a week.

 

 

 

I know some filthier ones if it's ok to post....

[skersRmyteam]

How do you get a Colorado grad off your porch?

 

Pay for the pizza.

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between a Colorado co-ed and a trash bag?

 

The trash bag gets taken out once a week.

 

 

 

I know some filthier ones if it's ok to post....

 

^^^^

i certainly don't mind

[The Maudfather]

Q: what's the difference between a buff cheerleader and a catfish?

 

A:one has whiskers and smells, and the other is a fish!

[strigori]

How do you get a Colorado grad off your porch?

 

Pay for the pizza.

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between a Colorado co-ed and a trash bag?

 

The trash bag gets taken out once a week.

 

 

 

I know some filthier ones if it's ok to post....

There is always the woodshed...

[fro daddy]

Two for you. One on the buffs and one i found on NE

 

At A Bar In Boulder...

A man walks into a bar in Boulder, Colorado and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a joke about how stupid the Colorado Football team is.

 

The bartender tells the man that he wouldn't mind hearing the joke but that he needs to point out a couple of people to him that are in the bar.

 

The bartender then points to a HUGE man seated at one end of the bar and explains that this guy was an All- American offensive lineman for Colorado last season.

 

The bartender then points out another HUGE man seated at a table near the bar and explains that he was a Colorado Linebacker a couple of years ago.

 

Then the bartender tells the man that he himself was a Quarterback for Colorado several years ago and that he had a baseball bat behind bar.

 

The bartender then asks the man if he still wanted to tell his joke and the man replied, "Heck no, I don't want to have to explain it 3 times!

 

 

"But I'm Not A Buffs Fan"

 

Two boys are playing football in Colorado when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

 

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Buffs Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal", he starts writing in his notebook.

 

"But I'm not a Buffs fan," the little hero replies.

 

"Sorry, since we're in Colorado, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

 

Again, he starts writing in his notebook: "Colorado State Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack."

 

But the boy interrupts sheepishly, "I'm not really a Colorado State fan either." "I just assumed that everyone in Colorado was either a fan of the CU Buffaloes or CSU Rams. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

 

"I'm a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan," the child says proudly.

 

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes "Little Redneck B**tard Kills Beloved Family Pet."

[Jim Hammer]

What's the difference between a CU girl and a bowling ball?

 

 

 

There are two actually...

 

 

 

 

You sure you want to hear this?

[fro daddy]

A Husker Fan is having breakfast one morning: Coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jelly. When a Colorado Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

 

The Husker Fan ignores the Colorado Fan, who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

 

Colorado Fan: "You Nebraska folk eat the whole bread?"

 

Husker Fan: " Of course!"

 

Colorado Fan: (after blowing a large bubble) "We don't in Colorado, we Only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Nebraska."

 

The Colorado Fan has a smirk on his face.

 

The Husker Fan listens in silence. The Colorado Fan persists.

 

Colorado Fan: "Do you eat jelly with the bread?"

 

Husker Fan: "Of course!"

 

Colorado Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth & chuckling) "We don't. In Colorado we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and jelly and sell it to Nebraska."

 

The Husker Fan then asks, "Do you have sex in Colorado?"

 

Colorado Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a smirk.

 

Husker Fan: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

 

Colorado Fan: "We throw them away, of course?"

 

Husker Fan: "We don't. In Nebraska, we put them all in a container, Recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to Colorado."

[huskersok]

A Husker Fan is having breakfast one morning: Coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jelly. When a Colorado Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

 

The Husker Fan ignores the Colorado Fan, who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

 

Colorado Fan: "You Nebraska folk eat the whole bread?"

 

Husker Fan: " Of course!"

 

Colorado Fan: (after blowing a large bubble) "We don't in Colorado, we Only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Nebraska."

 

The Colorado Fan has a smirk on his face.

 

The Husker Fan listens in silence. The Colorado Fan persists.

 

Colorado Fan: "Do you eat jelly with the bread?"

 

Husker Fan: "Of course!"

 

Colorado Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth & chuckling) "We don't. In Colorado we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and jelly and sell it to Nebraska."

 

The Husker Fan then asks, "Do you have sex in Colorado?"

 

Colorado Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a smirk.

 

Husker Fan: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

 

Colorado Fan: "We throw them away, of course?"

 

Husker Fan: "We don't. In Nebraska, we put them all in a container, Recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to Colorado."

 

That is some funny $hit.