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Cy's 100% Accurate Predictions for This Weekend


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Okay…so I was a little off last week. How was I to know that K-State was going to hang 60 on a suddenly hapless A&M team or that Colorado was going to actually put a real QB into the lineup? Combine that with another Bradford injury and there you go…a the perfect storm…complete with a pathetic attempt at a Maine accent from that has-been loser George Clooney… However, since I changed all my picks at halftime of the respective games as specified by section 3, part 2 of the God of All Predictions Rules Book (written and published by me and available on request for the low price of $49.99…plus shipping and handling). I actually got every game right once again thus keeping my amazing prediction record clean….so, on to this week’s infallible picks:

 

Oklahoma State at Baylor

 

Unfortunately for Baylor, they had to change their name back from the Baylor Griffins to the Baylor Bears and after their loss to the hapless Cyclones, have solidified their usual position as the worst team in the history of the Big 12…ever! Meanwhile, OK State is solidifying their position as the best team in Oklahoma (though Tulsa might give them a struggle). Oklahoma State can run and, with Robinson looking more like the Robinson of 2008, they should easily dispatch a Baylor team that can’t run and is looking more like the Baylor of 2007…and 2006…and 2005….and….

Winner – Oklahoma State

 

Iowa State at Nebraska

Well…since I’ve been accused all week of being an unrealistic homer (apparently due to the fact that I played football at Iowa State, work at all of the Iowa State home games and live in the general vicinity of Ames…all totally unreasonable reasons to accuse anyone of favoritism) I’ll just say that Iowa State can move the ball well against other teams and other teams can move the ball exceptionally well against Iowa State. This will probably come down to which sides fat guys can run up and down the field the most without getting tired. Actually, I foresee Lee starting the game…looking like crap and either getting hurt or benched in the 2nd quarter with ISU up by 10 after which Nebraska will bring in Green and he will proceed to demolish ISU and establish himself as potentially the greatest QB in Nebraska history…much like Brad Smith, Chase Daniel and even that stupid Hawkins kid at Colorado did…like clockwork.

Winner – Nebraska

 

Colorado at Kansas State

Either Texas A&M is totally pathetic or K-State actually has some offensive weapons this year. Frankly, I didn’t see any of them earlier in the season…I just saw a bunch of plays from the 90’s that Snyder dusted off and tried. Hey…they worked back then so what the hell huh? Too bad he couldn’t find the defensive playbook though. Colorado kind of did the same thing except they took a QB from last year and dusted him off and sent him out there….Hey…it worked last year so what the hell! I heard they have decided to save Hawkins for the Iowa State game so he can hit the field in the 2nd quarter and obliterate the Clones again. Colorado does have a defense of sorts though while K-State hasn’t been able to locate theirs yet (don’t look in Lawrence cuz it sure ain’t over there)

Winner – Colorado

 

Oklahoma at Kansas

 

Oklahoma is looking a lot like Superman incapacitated by Kryptonite lately…without Bradford, the passing game is suffering and for some reason the running game isn’t doing all that well either. The defense is good but is it good enough to stop Reesing? Say what you want about Kansas (and there are a lot of things that I want to say about Kansas…and not much of it is good) but they can pick you apart with that passing game. They will probably just come out and throw every play (since they couldn’t run if they were a nylon stocking) until something sticks. The OU defense is looking tired this season. Kansas will leave them exhausted

Winner – Kansas

 

Texas A&M at Texas Tech

 

Texas A&M is challenging Baylor for a spot in the B12 cellar. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just walked down the stairs, took all of Baylor’s stuff and threw it out and set up residence in the basement till 2011. I’m sure Baylor will fight for their rightful place down there and they might even end up sharing the space but, in the end, it’s A&M’s spot to win…er…lose. If K-State puts up 60 on them, how many do you suppose the pass-happy Red Raiders are going to throw up there. I bet the point total by K-State was a total affront to Leach’s dignity and he’ll do his best to make sure they hang 70 on the Aggies this weekend.

Winner – Texas Tech

 

Texas at Missouri

 

The Also-Rans of the Big 12 North would like to welcome back their long-lost brother Missouri! Welcome back Missouri…we’ve been saving the 3rd and 4th spot in the North for you since we knew you would be back. My advice to you…go find some more recruits named Chase. Without them you have to rely on a hit and miss offense and a flimsy defense. Not a good combination with Texas coming to town. Texas, meanwhile, is playing just good enough to win. Apparently they are saving themselves for some hypothetical big game in the future…unfortunately for Missouri, this ain’t it.

Winner – Texas

 

And that, folks, is how this weekend is going to go. You can now spend the weekend playing with the kids or going shopping with your wives or girlfriends instead of watching football….and THAT is why all women love me.

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