Sick Day

[slacker]

Need to throw a sickie? Here's how to do it.

 

Steps

1. Find a quiet place for the phone call.

2. Call your boss.

3. Don't sound guilty

4. Keep the excuse short and to the point.

5. Get off the phone as QUICKLY as possible.

 

Tips

* If you can, call your boss's voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.

* When making the phone call, if you can do it early in the morning, when your voice is still rough with sleep, that will give added credibility.

* For an added effect, bend over your toilet while pressing your forearm into your stomach so you begin to sound like your stomach is really being affected by whatever you are calling about. (Usually this would make you sound like you just finished vomiting.)

* If you're outside the house, calling from your car might be the quietest place you can manage.

* It's a good idea to mention in passing how you are feeling better or your car is all fixed when you return to work.

* Keep an eye out for other people who have been sick at work and use the 'I must have gotten it from Jim in Accounting.' excuse.

* == Good Examples ==

* "Morning. I'm not going to be in today. I was up all last night sick. I think we left the chicken out too long."

* "I won't be in today, I am not feeling well."

* "I've spent the last 24 hours either in bed or in the bathroom. I don't think I should go to work today."

* "I caught something from my computer and I am now sick."

* "I have to go pay my insurance premium of $1,344.56 per month on my $500.00 car."

* "I will be working at my home, I have to write a 150 more RFI's for Bryan."

* I can't find the office, I just started working here a year ago."

* "I have jury duty, I will call in if I am dismissed."

* "I think I have to go to the DMV."

* If you work in food service: "I have diarrhea." By law they can't let you work.

 

Warnings

* It's important that your boss think you are sick in your bed. Blaring music or a loud TV can destroy that image as thoroughly as thousands of screaming fans at a football game.

* Long rambling messages are to be avoided. When lying, you are tempted to embellish. Don't. When calling in sick, less is more. The old standbys of food poisoning, flu, cold, all work because we've all been through them.

* Calling in sick without being sick is best done for one day (or possibly two days in a row). Longer than that may require a note from your doctor.

* Don't come back to work the next day with a suntan, pictures, stories, etc. If you share what you have done with your coworkers, they may turn on you and tell your boss. Worse, they may steal all of your good excuses.

* Be careful with car excuses unless you are willing to stay at home, since if someone from work sees you in town then you are busted.

* Do not use an excuse about someone in your family dying because the boss can find out for sure and you will be caught in a lie. This will make you less credible to your boss when someone really does die.

* Do not use a family member that is still alive. You might have to go to their funeral next week, or find yourself talking about an amazing party that the so called deceased is giving this weekend.

* Try not to call in "sick" on too many Mondays or Fridays - extended weekends tend to stick out in the minds of bosses and co-workers. Calling out on the occasional Tuesday is more credible.

* Do not admit to lying ever. If you have lied and get caught, still insist beyond any form of logic that you did not lie. At worst people will think you are crazy and feel sorry for you. They may even ask that you stay home for another day to "get things figured out".

[Pedro Guerrero]

Tips

* If you can, call your boss's voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.

This is what I do whenever I call in. My supervisor is not very friendly when it comes to calling in sick. She alomst takes it personal.

[slacker]

Tips

    * If you can, call your boss's voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.

This is what I do whenever I call in. My supervisor is not very friendly when it comes to calling in sick. She alomst takes it personal.

My boss never seems to have an issue when I "call" in but I prefer to email too. As an added feature I copy my coworkers so they leave me alone..

[DJR313]

Tips

    * If you can, call your boss's voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.

This is what I do whenever I call in. My supervisor is not very friendly when it comes to calling in sick. She alomst takes it personal.

You too? It's like we have the same boss or something. One time I called in sick at 12:45 from the bathroom at a bar. Classic.

[AR Husker Fan]

***SNIP***

 

One time I called in sick at 12:45 from the bathroom at a bar. Classic.

AM or PM?

[DJR313]

***SNIP***

 

One time I called in sick at 12:45 from the bathroom at a bar.  Classic.

AM or PM?

AM of course

[AR Husker Fan]

AM of course

Atta boy - then he really knows you're sick!

[NamelessHusker]

This thread had me laughing for a while. Thanks slacker for the wonderful tips on the proper way to call in sick