El Straino

Look at that beautiful technology. Bama can stick it

Gettin thick in here

Obviously a lie...now if Moos said he was looking into LODGES I would believe him.

Aye, there's a team photo hanging on the wall in the pressbox at Hastings College. If you look closely you'll notice a muuuuuuch younger Bill Parcels in stylish short shorts. Now just TRY to get that image outta your head.

Are we still confusing the TO offense of the 90s with a flexbone true triple option offense? Asking for a friend who doesn't want to hurt themselves facepalming

Does...does there need to be a Jessica0 mega-thread? Asking for a friend who wants to completely avoid it if so

Couldn't be, not near enough spittle

At this point if we fail to land Sir Frost-a-Lot of House UCF the sheer mass and magnitude of this thread, as well as the hopes and dreams of many Husker faithful will go supernova. I haven't crunched the numbers yet, but most likely this will all collapse into a singularity, the gravitational effects of which not even the posts of Jessica0 will be able to escape...for nothing does beyond the Frost event horizon. www.huskersupermassiveblackholeboard.com

Twas the night before Penn State And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even the computer mouse The beers were all cooling In the fridge with care With hopes that St. Frost would soon be there The Huskers were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of touchdowns danced through their heads When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter When what to my wondering eyes should appear But a miniature bus, pulled by a John Deere The door was flung open, so lively it tossed I knew in a moment that it must be St. Frost As I drew in my head and was turning around Down the chimney St. Frost came with a bound He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot And even his headset was covered in soot A sack of trophies was flung on his back Oranges, and Roses, and even an Outback! He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work Filled all the Adidas stockings, then turned with a jerk And laying his finger aside of his nose And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose He sprung to his bus, and to his team gave a whistle And away they all shot, like a spiraling missile But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight GO BIG RED to ALL, and to all a good night!!!

Everyone needs to calm dowwwwn. Take a deep breath. R-e-l-a-x... we're talking Aaron non-broken collar bone Rodgers style of relaxing. Remind yourself: Hey... We're NEBRASKA... And we will find the dumbest way to f@$! this up somehow. Heck, we're old pros at it by now.

Is it too cliché to say I'll have some of what zoogs is having? A W in State College would actually fit this twilight zone-like season. Yeesh

I'm a big fan of the 56 prong pitchfork. It has all the practicality of my 15 blade razor that takes the skin right off my face. Lifehack: no face, no shave! Oh, and black Friday can't get here fast enough.

Are you working on a version of patty-cake that features inside zone concepts for next week's game, coach?

I learned the defensive effort today was very Cosgrovian in nature. Wait... I would take a KC defense over what was on the field today. OMG, I just threw up a little in my mouth as I typed that.