I got the clearance a couple of weeks ago from my doctor to participate in sports again after my knee surgery. Here in New Zealand, sports are pretty low-key unless it's rugby, or to a lesser extent, cricket. My wife got me a phone number of a recreational basketball league (I now refuse to play volleyball after that is how I demolished my knee). Notice I said 'recreational'. Obviously it's a bit paraphrased, but here goes...(We'll call her 'Julie')
Julie: Hello?
Hi, may I speak to Julie?
Julie: Speaking.
Hi Julie, my wife gave your number for information on the possibility of signing up to a recreational basketball league?
Julie: Ok, yes, may I have your name?
My name is Noel.
Julie: Can I have your full name please?
Yes, it's Noel _________.
Julie: Do you have a middle name?
Umm, yeah...*told it to her*
Julie: So how much experience do you have playing basketball?
Well...I've been playing since I was 5 and my Dad would take me to the high school gym and lift me on his shoulders to shoot it.
Julie: I notice an accent. Where are you from?
I'm from the U.S.
Julie: (voice perks up) Oh! What team did you play for?
I played for (my junior high and high school team)
Julie: Oh. Nothing professional?
No.
Julie: *now sounding dejected* Well...what position do you play?
I'm probably a 2 or a 3 guard.
Julie: How tall are you?
I'm 6 foot.
Julie: What's that in the metric system?
Sorry, I don't know.
Julie: *looking up the conversion* *now sounding really dejected* Ok well, what's the best part of your game?
I think I'm decent in transition, and I generally like making good passes more than shooting, but I can make a nice shot sometimes.
Julie: What's the best game you've ever had?
Well, I hit 5 threes in a row at Maranatha Bible Camp to win for our team. That was fun.
Julie: A camp?! No...an actual team you played for.
I thought it was an actual team. I played hard, wanted to win for me and the guys around me. I guess otherwise I scored 11 points in a game in junior high vs. _____ (A D-2 school).
Julie: Are they a professional team?
No. Like I said, I've never played professional basketball, so no.
Julie: How's your health?
It's getting better.
Julie: What do you mean 'it's getting better?!' Are you sick?
No, I've been rehabbing from a knee injury and surgery.
Julie: (Now wondering why I've even bothered calling) OH. Has your doctor watched you play basketball and can sign off on your abilities?
I'm sorry, what was that?
Julie: Has your doctor watched you play basketball since your knee injury and surgery?
Why would my doctor want to watch me play basketball?
Julie: Well, so you could play proper basketball.
I told her I changed my mind and was going to play bingo with my grandmother instead.