huskernation20 Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Zen truths 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Quote Link to comment
huskernation20 Posted August 9, 2007 Author Share Posted August 9, 2007 Good stuff. Funny! Thanks...but I'll probably never match up to you....I die laughing at those jokes you post. I bow to your excellence! Quote Link to comment
admo Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 1.. 7.. 13.. they're all pretty funny Quote Link to comment
HuskerNCo Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Good stuff. Funny! Thanks...but I'll probably never match up to you....I die laughing at those jokes you post. I bow to your excellence! Not me. But you can still bow to my excellence! Quote Link to comment
huskernation20 Posted August 9, 2007 Author Share Posted August 9, 2007 Good stuff. Funny! Thanks...but I'll probably never match up to you....I die laughing at those jokes you post. I bow to your excellence! Not me. But you can still bow to my excellence! Oh...thats Ninersgirl! Well I don't know if I can do that in that case.....from what I read a lot of people demand pics from you! May you should come through and people would bow at your feet....just an assumption. Quote Link to comment
HuskerNCo Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Pics...not in this lifetime. Got to have some secrets! Quote Link to comment
DaveH Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Quote Link to comment
rawhide Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with drowning. . . oops that's sticky fingers. Quote Link to comment
AR Husker Fan Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with drowning. . . oops that's sticky fingers. Quote Link to comment
Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Funny, rawhide. Funny. I'll get you... Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 soldier who sleep with judge, get honorable discharge Quote Link to comment
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