A Final Goodbye to the Big 12

[The Snork]

I began writing this some weeks ago and (fortunately) due to some outstanding journalistic efforts (http://www.oudaily.c...ued-cause-big-1 http://www.huskerboa...ave-to-go-away/ and http://nebraska.stat...2/4cf7ffa67f466 some of it has been answered. Regardless.

 

Dear Big 12

 

I hate the day I first heard your name. I had my suspicions. But people said you were a big opportunity and to be optimistic. Those people were fools. It wasn't long after a series of 11-1 votes against us to make Nebraskan fans to start to see the writing on the wall. But Nebraskans are "can-do" people. And if the rules are a little crooked we feel that it won't hurt a good team. That's usually true, its when the rules get A LOT crooked that good teams have problems. To be fair, no we didn't do ourselves a lot of favors in our coaching selections, but we've almost got that sorted out. When people began to ask me if I'll miss the big XII I came to the realization that there was nothing to miss. I miss the Big 8, the Big 12 can hang. And so to all our associates in the Big XII, one last word.

 

 

 

Colorado: You've always wanted our relationship to be something more than it ever really was. Lets just be friends. I do have to give you some credit however, you were the only other school smart enough to get out of this cesspool of a Texas league, but then again even rats are smart enough to get out of sinking ship. Good luck in the PAC 12 … unless you're stupid enough to rehire that tool McCarthy, and thanks for all the wins.

 

Iowa State: I see a day in the future when your team will be as famous as say Creighton's football team. "They played football?" Get used to hearing that. We get to play the real school in Iowa now, thanks for all the wins

 

Missouri: I will miss all the laughs we had together, well you didn't have that much to laugh about. I think I'll be a better person being a fan of a team that doesn't make Missouri players and kids cry once a year.

 

Kansas: I always thought your mascot was cool. Because of your Basketball team you obviously know what winning feels like. Be smart, use that team as a bargaining chip to get yourselves into a conference that will treat you fairly. You were smart enough to hire Turner Gill and for that reason alone I will cheer for you to win whatever they call this misbegotten conference in the following years.

 

Kansas State: Its funny that you get under Missouri's skin even more than we do, thanks for all the wins.

 

Oklahoma State. We've had some good games over the years and anyone that overlooked you was an idiot. Then again your record against us is about the same as everyone else in the former Big 8 except Oklahoma. I hope all that money being pumped into you does do some good. Then again you could put all the money in the world into a hooker and all you'd wind up with is a well-dressed slut.

 

TEXAS Tech/Texas A&M/Baylor: I can't imagine what makes you so happy to live in the shade of Texas' corruption. Then again many fungi thrive in dung piles in the shade of higher organisms.

 

Texas: Well it seems like you always found a way to beat us … or more accurately a way to get us to beat ourselves. Congratulations on your wins, on the field and off. You were sitting in the smoking ruins of the SWC when we extended our hand in friendship to you and you've done your best to repay us TEXAS STYLE, with a knife in the back. Congratulations on your resurrection of the SWC and capturing the conference office, officials and championship game. Have fun sitting home this bowl season. Good luck getting into or trying to put together a respectable conference after a few more teams in the Big XII wise up. In the immortal words of Mr. Spock "After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical; but it is often true."

 

Oklahoma: Well you were the best rival a team could ask for, almost like a brother to us. We've had some historic games … no less than "THE GAME OF THE CENTURY". Well that WAS last century. You deserve all the great things that you've accomplished … and at least all the bad things that happened to you as well. You above any team does not have to put up with Texas' BS yet you do. Here's hoping you get your head together and do what has to be done. I will miss you the most of all scarecrow. Boomer Sooner!

 

Adios

 

A Husker Fan

[huskernumerouno]

NICE

[tschu]

I will never miss or respect CU, their program, or their fan base. All the other Big 8 teams I will miss.

[mmmtodd]

sometimes all you need is a well dressed slut.

 

being a message board, someone is already feverishly working away at disparaging your well put personal opinion.

 

however, i give kudos.

[BornRedCornFed]

comparing atm, TT, and baylor to fungi...creative to say the least

[Judoka]

Excellent read, very creative. Nice work!

[Redreign22]

i got to agree with you on the standpoint of Oklahoma. all though they beat us in the B12CG. they definently have a classy program and gave us a battle every time we played them. Salute to OU. you got my respect. good luck in the Texas Ten Conference.

[husker_99]

There is nothing to be sad about the Big 12. From its inception i knew we were screwed when everybody else gave into Texass demand's. Even though i only watched the Big 8 for a short while the feelings from them all ready passed and ready for a fresh start in the Big Ten.

[billdozer15]

My parting words....Later douschenozzels.