The buzz out of Lincoln after tonight...

[Danny Bateman]

Now, my source may not be the most reputable, but I'm hearing the following news after tonight's embarrassment.

 

1) Bo and Carl Pelini will both be let go at the end of the season. We will not need to search for a new coach, as Shawn Watson has already agreed to forgive and forget and has been awarded Bo's job, and Carl will be replaced by either Cosgrove, Barney, or a ham and cheese sandwich.

 

2) Tom Osborne will step down as the AD and will focus on his true passion... he will become the head coach of the gymnastics team. He will be replaced by either Trev Alberts or the loser of the Carl sweepstakes... I'm pulling for the sandwich myself.

 

3) Barney Cotton will be fired early next season for eating the new AD.

 

4)Sean Fisher will be put in a woodchipper and left there.

 

5) We will be forcing Taylor to use stick em in every game from now on, which won't matter as he will only get in for a few designed runs per game, as he will now be backing up Carnes.

 

6) Bo will go to anger management courses and will not be allowed by the NCAA to accept another position until he comes back acting like Mr. Rogers, complete with sweater.

 

7) Rex quit the team, citing a "lack of excellence in all areas."

 

8) Apparently, we've done something called "gravitate into mediocrity."

 

Anyone care to add anything I may have missed? I mean I hear things,but I can't possibly hear everything.

[tschu]

meh, B-minus

[Stumpy1]

9). athletic department invested alot into KY stocks.

[secretasianman]

You get an F for effort.

 

[VectorVictor]

Not really feeling it. Sorry.