What's in a life?

[Creighton Duke]

OK....if you are unhappy, how do you become happy?

Meditate on it...a lot. Think about what makes you happy and think about what is holding you back now. Explore new things, concepts, ideas, etc. that may have been foreign or unknown to you, traditional or off the beaten path. Stop listening to what mainstream media tells you is "right" or how you should be doing things and living your life.

 

Been working for me!

 

P.S. This goes without saying, but lift weights

 

EDIT: Also, loser people in your life who bring you down, stop talking to them. Defriend them from your Facebook. Don't associate with them or let their existence affect your happiness.

[knapplc]

Presuming a "good" life is a happy life, this question has been asked and answered. By Harvard, no less. Their five secrets to a fulfilling life:

 

1. Love Is Really All That Matters

2. It’s About More than Money and Power

3. Regardless of How We Begin Life, We Can All Become Happier

4. Connection Is Crucial

5. Challenges –- and the Perspective They Give You -- Can Make You Happier

 

The 75-Year Study That Found The Secrets To A Fulfilling Life

 

What if there was a study dedicated to unearthing the secrets to a happy and purposeful life? It would have to be conducted over the course of many decades, following the lives of real people from childhood until old age, in order to see how they changed and what they learned. And it would probably be too ambitious for anyone to actually undertake.

 

Only, a group of Harvard researchers did undertake it, producing a comprehensive, flesh-and-blood picture of some of life’s fundamental questions: how we grow and change, what we value as time goes on, and what is likely to make us happy and fulfilled.

 

The study, known as the Harvard Grant Study, has some limitations -- it didn’t include women, for starters. Still, it provides an unrivaled glimpse into a subset of humanity, following 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 (now well into their 90s) for 75 years, collecting data on various aspects of their lives at regular intervals. And the conclusions are universal.

 

[Husker_x]

@BigRedBuster @Landlord

I'll drop a few more Buddhisty thoughts on you. Happiness in Buddhism is achieved in part by recognizing your own ignorance of reality (there's actually something called the 'Noble Eightfold Path' that has a lot more to say about happiness). I don't mean to imply you're unintelligent or that you need to replace concepts you already have with new ones. But rather recognizing that the problems that make you unhappy are not external. They are internal. Even if there is an external factor, it is the mind that ultimately manifests your emotions no matter what the external factors are. The thing to understand about the mind and emotions in this view is that they, too, are dukkha. They are impermanent. They are change. The arise and pass away, invariably, happy or sad. And they are related to a fundamental misunderstanding of our relationship to the universe.

If you've never tried meditation before, it can be an illuminating experience kind of like prayer. The instructions are simple enough. Sit down however you're comfortable in a quiet place. Close your eyes. Then for five or ten minutes focus on your breathing wherever it's most prominent. In the nostrils, the rising and falling of the abdomen, wherever. What everyone finds out is pretty quickly is that though the instructions sound simple, focussing your attention on anything for even a few minutes is nearly impossible. Thoughts continually come careening through your head: memories, worries, images, doubts, other emotions. Our minds are on fire with disjointed but powerful patterns of thought. The key is only to notice these things, not to comment on them, not dwell on them. Watch them arise, watch them go. Each time you notice your mind drifting, return your attention to the breath. You're not trying to achieve anything by doing this. You don't need to get anywhere. The idea is to notice whatever there is to notice in consciousness, then let it go. If nothing comes and you find yourself in a very calm, peaceful state of mind, so much the better.

I'm not a Buddhist and I'm no meditation expert, either, but I do enjoy meditation and I've had some pretty blissful experiences while practicing. I don't know that it will make you happier in itself (the paragraph I just wrote is only one type of meditation, called vipassana or 'mindfulness'). But introspection and insight are always useful, I think.

Anyway, some soothing music and more Buddhisty thoughts to chew on:

[TAKODA]

OK....if you are unhappy, how do you become happy?

 

It seems to me that I heard a long time ago that you have to get clap to be happy ~ er, um wait, no, I remember now, clap you hands!

[TGHusker]

 

Presuming a "good" life is a happy life, this question has been asked and answered. By Harvard, no less. Their five secrets to a fulfilling life:

 

1. Love Is Really All That Matters

2. It’s About More than Money and Power

3. Regardless of How We Begin Life, We Can All Become Happier

4. Connection Is Crucial

5. Challenges –- and the Perspective They Give You -- Can Make You Happier

 

The 75-Year Study That Found The Secrets To A Fulfilling Life

 

What if there was a study dedicated to unearthing the secrets to a happy and purposeful life? It would have to be conducted over the course of many decades, following the lives of real people from childhood until old age, in order to see how they changed and what they learned. And it would probably be too ambitious for anyone to actually undertake.

 

Only, a group of Harvard researchers did undertake it, producing a comprehensive, flesh-and-blood picture of some of life’s fundamental questions: how we grow and change, what we value as time goes on, and what is likely to make us happy and fulfilled.

 

The study, known as the Harvard Grant Study, has some limitations -- it didn’t include women, for starters. Still, it provides an unrivaled glimpse into a subset of humanity, following 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 (now well into their 90s) for 75 years, collecting data on various aspects of their lives at regular intervals. And the conclusions are universal.

 

 

Knapp - I just saw this thread - what an intriguing topic. I agree with the Harvard 5 you note above. To me Happiness is when

1. my vital relationships are in order (wife, kids, extended family),

2. I have a meaningful service in life - giving instead of hoarding or seeking to fulfill my selfish wants; giving by volunteering, teaching, giving of my resources and talents, (or chocolate to my wife) etc

3. Knowing my life has purpose - my Christian faith reinforces this

4. Managing my expectations. Someone said 'stress is the gap between our expectations and our reality' - I would say this applies to happiness as well. If I have expectations that are beyond a reasonable scope of who I am, (I expect to be president one day. for example -I will not be happy as I will never reach that unrealistic expectation). But if my expectations are based in the reality of who I am, passions, reasonable dreams, gifts, talents, resources, community, etc then I can find a good number of my expectations to be realistic and with effort come to fruition.

5. Sustaining Joy - is the center of my heart joy or a search just for happiness? Happiness is based on circumstance for the most part. If circumstance change for the worse, then so does my "happiness meter". Joy sustains me in the midst of deep sorrow or suffering as well as when the day is good. For me, my Christian faith supports me with this type of joy. Joy isn't 'happy go lucky' 'whatever will be will be' attitude but a steadfast mind set or 'soul set' - based on truths that I hold to be eternal bedrock that anchors my soul regardless. Am I always there, no - sometime I fall back into just seeking the happiness route (normally in violation of 1-4). And like King David in Psalms 42 & 43 often stated, I then need to turn my heart back towards what really matters: "My spirit, why are you so sad? Why are you so upset deep down inside me? Put your hope in God. Once again I will have reason to praise him. He is my Savior and my God."