Undone

I would have. So much.

Man, you can't take a bad photo of Ellen. She's been taking care of herself.

Tuff...I love you.

Here's what I heard last night while I was sipping Mint Juleps at the Brass Rail from one of the bar maids... Last night, that guy from that science thing was brought in by Howard Hawks to use Osborne's sperm to concoct a supreme abomination of a clone that would incubated by your mom's nail lady. But she said the frozen sperm Hawks was told was in the Target sack in his freezer was actually Pat Ricketts' (long story). So they had to extract manually. But apparently, as potent as The Doctor still is, they just couldn't get a good sample. During the "procedure," Tom mentions that it's his divine will for Tressel to get the gig anyway. But now Tressel's missing. So thinking they could actually get a decent cloning from merely the DNA on a Tressel-hair, they raid his sweater vault (the password to which is Woody Hayes birthdate...obv), but, *gasp* - All gone! So the science guy is like, "I do have this time machine thing laying around." But Osborne, as we all know it, doesn't really go in for time travel. So they sent Pat Ricketts back in time to 2005 to collect a sample, believing this to be the moment in time in which Jim's midi-chlorian count to be the highest. Tressel sees Pat coming through the portal and he's like, "You're here to get a DNA sample, aren't you...I knew this would happen." And so he like, wrestles with Pat for a long time, and finally sends him back to the future. The rest of the story plays out in obvious fashion; no need to stress my carpal tunnel any further typing it out. And that's how Pat Ricketts becomes the next head coach at The University of Nebraska.

Nobody is intelligently saying that a coordinator can't do it. And nobody is saying that previous head coaching experience is an absolute indicator of future success. But when you talk about the odds of something happening, it drastically changes the conversation. It's pretty ridiculous to think otherwise.

This.

Now your bit's dying. Probably time to just GTFO.

"Hearing that we should get rid of him" and the current environment with Eichorst don't necessarily have much in common. I want change. I'm saying, I just don't think it happens this season. I barely think it's possible.

Count, what's your real, 'gun-to-the-head' prediction: Will Bo stay or get fired? I feel like there is practically no chance whatsoever a change is made.

I understand that this is your point. And it probably is most fair to say both sides of the ball are struggling, terribly. But this is my point: Against MSU, we scored 16 points of offense (because one TD was from Demornay running back a punt). Against Minnesota, we scored 17 points on offense (because again another TD came from special teams - a miracle in and of itself). We did muster 24 points of offense against Wisconsin, but had some real gifts on field position that gave us 17 of those. But 16 and 17 against MSU & Minnesota? Piss poor. Our offense is a huge problem. And I'd say that Beck is trying to run a "score rapidly" offense. We generally don't huddle, we snap the ball quickly; it's up-tempo. It's not a Leach style offense - I get your point there. But it's nevertheless of a version of what we're currently trying to (and failing miserably to) do. Timmy Beck - just ******* change something. Do something different.

I disagree. See also: Michigan State. As in, the Michigan State that went 11-1 last year, beat Ohio State, and then beat Stanford in the Rose Bowl.

I'd like to actually try to simplify things. Huddling. No "two play reads" at scrimmage; huddle, come to the line, snap the ball. Try to eliminate all of the calculus equations that are apparently done prior to each snap. I think that could go a long way.

That's a little better. Sock Puppet, what kind of stains are on your sock? Don't go into too much detail, but I'd still like to know.

Another thread asking whether or not anyone wants Iowa to win? GTFO with this stuff.

You were doing great, and it was hilarious until you made this post. Keep it more inane and abstract. Remember, you're a sock puppet - you're not capable of introspection.

OP, what are you really doing here? It feels more and more like you're a troll account, executing a mastermind slow roll. I haven't ever used the ignore feature on this forum, but it's gettin there.

Can I take that to mean that it's imperative to fire Beck and Ganz in order to produce better offensive results? Or is that not what you're implying.

Recruiting a consensus four-star quarterback capable of throwing the ball well would go a long, long way in my opinion also. I would LOVE to get Sheriron Jones. It is absolutely not possible to win conference titles with a QB that is erratic throwing the ball. Although it wouldn't make up for any of mediocrity of the last few seasons, it would go a long way for me. **Edit - Tommy wasn't the problem on Saturday. I'm not saying that. But we had 17 points of offense against Minnesota, and roughly the same amount against Sparty. Just terrible!

There's practically nobody that is saying this.

I know. But I do really think it confirms what most of us have thought for a couple years - he's entrenched in his buddy system, and it isn't gonna change. He claimed that he has changed things in this presser. He hasn't, and he won't.

I didn't want to make a new thread for this, but Bo just said this a second ago in the Monday morning presser? "Eric...I don't want to go into this. But would I fire a guy to save my own job? No. Would I fire a guy who deserved firing? Yes." Hmmmm.

For f***'s sake.

No, it does not mean that, even statistically speaking.